


Maybe One Day

by Halsteadpd, quesera



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Daddy Jay, F/M, Family, Future Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 14:17:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 57,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16087820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halsteadpd/pseuds/Halsteadpd, https://archiveofourown.org/users/quesera/pseuds/quesera
Summary: A collection of one-shots of Jay Halstead as a dad. Because we all need that in our lives.





	1. Chapter 1

Erin had come up with a grand plan for how she was going to tell him. Well, as grand as a ‘we’re pregnant’ announcement could be. She had known for three days now, but she wanted a special way to tell her husband that they were expecting their first child. She knew how much he wanted kids; simply handing him a stick that she’d peed on wouldn’t suffice. Her doctor’s appointment was in a couple of days, so there wasn’t much time to stall—she had to tell him.

She found herself in the drugstore across the street from their place after she missed her period. Her periods were  _always_ on time; no matter the stress of work or the fluctuations of her sleeping schedule and diet, it stayed consistent. She also found herself to be moodier than usual. One thing everyone knew about Erin Lindsay was that she liked control. But no matter what happened that week, she felt as if she was drowning in a black hole, unable to grasp reality. She would be happy one moment and pissed off the next, her nostrils flaring and eyes on fire. Naturally, Jay noticed, his face full of concern when he approached her in the breakroom. But she snapped at him too, only to kiss his cheek when she noticed the hurt flash across his face.

She managed to sneak out of the apartment while Jay was at the gym. They had finished work early that day, which was unheard of for the detectives in Intelligence. But it had thankfully been a slow week full of paperwork before Voight sent them on their way, telling the team that he’d call if he needed them.

Erin made her way through the still snowy streets of Chicago to Target around the corner. It was Valentine’s Day the next day and she hoped and prayed that the criminals of the city wouldn’t foil her romantic plans of dinner and telling her husband the greatest news he would ever hear. As she pulled into the parking lot, she found herself resting her right hand comfortably over her abdomen, still toned and tight, no sign of any baby. But it was there. A smile subconsciously grazed her face, and her emotions had tears pooling in her eyes.

She was greeted by Valentine’s Day decorations at the entrance of the store. There was candy and chocolate literally everywhere she looked and she found herself fighting the urge to march over and fill her shopping cart to the brim. Ultimately, she lost that battle as she piled four boxes of chocolate and three different kinds of candy into the cart. _For the baby_ , she told herself.

Pulling herself away from the sugary treats, Erin moved toward the baby department, hoping something would jump out at her as the perfect way to surprise Jay. She had never really ventured into that section before; there had never really been a need, and it had always seemed so overwhelming. Honestly it still was—breast pumps and bottle warmers and scratch mittens and— _what the hell was a snot sucker_? Eventually she found herself looking through the seemingly endless collection of baby clothes. It was all so tiny and adorable and she started imagining a little person that was half her and half Jay nestled in her arms. Nothing could have stopped the smile that quickly spread across her face at that thought.

Finally, she found it.

* * *

Erin stopped on her way home to grab takeout from their favourite place. As she slipped into the apartment and locked the door behind herself, she could hear the shower running. Jay was home, so she quickly stashed her purchase in the back of her sock drawer.

When she heard the water turn off, she ran out of their room to cover her tracks and make it look like she was just busy setting up dinner. She scattered the boxes of candy and chocolate on the kitchen island before placing the takeout containers at the kitchen table along with plates and utensils.

Jay’s hair was glistening wet from his shower when he joined her a few minutes later, dressed comfortably in a t-shirt and sweats. He stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed the assortment of sweets on the kitchen counter and questioningly raised an eyebrow at Erin. “Uh, when did you buy all of this?”

“I went to pick up dinner and I was craving something sweet.”

“What, so you’re saying I’m not sweet enough for you?”

She rolled her eyes, laughing at him. “You are such a dork.”

He chuckled along with her as he rested his hands on her hips. “Yeah, but you love it.”

Erin popped up onto her tiptoes and gave him a quick kiss. “Most days.”

They made small talk over dinner, chatting about recent cases and making plans for the next day. Chicago was due for a late winter blizzard, so a romantic night out on the town was highly unlikely. Erin told Jay she just wanted to do dinner at home, nestled on the couch in front of the Blackhawks game. He didn’t need much convincing; he wasn’t the type of guy that liked getting dressed up for dates.

Little did he know she had other plans.

* * *

Erin woke early the next morning, her excitement for dinner that night was palpable. When she turned her head, she was greeted by Jay’s sleeping face, his mouth slightly agape.

Smiling, Erin leaned onto her left elbow, placing her lips against Jay’s parted ones. She kissed him lightly, sneaking her tongue into his mouth. She pulled back a little when she felt him stir underneath her, but was disappointed when he went back to sleep. This time, she put more force into her kiss, catching him by surprise. He lifted his head off of his pillow slightly and kissed her back once he realized what she was doing.

“Morning babe.” She smiled down at him.

“Good morning. Sleep okay?”

“Mhmm.” She placed her head back down against his shoulder and closed her eyes again. There was no going back to sleep once she woke up, but she would stay in the comfort of their bed all day if she could.

She felt Jay move and when her face was no longer touching his skin, she opened her eyes. Jay was sitting up in bed, looking over at Erin with a grin on his face and before she knew it, he was straddling her hips. He bent down and kissed the sensitive part of her neck that made her legs shake.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, babe.” He managed between kisses. Erin felt his hands roaming her body and stop at the hem of her shirt. She grabbed his hands as he started to tug on it, stopping him.

“Not now. Later tonight. We need to get some groceries before the storm hits.” She heard him groan in frustration and felt him press himself against her. “C’mon, we gotta get goin’.” Jay didn’t budge.

“Erin, I think we should have a baby.” Her heart dropped.  _He knows_. “I know we’ve talked about it here and there, and it would definitely be a huge change, but… I know we can make it work. I think we’re ready.”  _Relief_.

“Can we talk about this when you’re not pinning me down and trying to seduce me?” Purposely, he pushed his bulge against her through their clothes. “Jay!”

“Okay, fine. We’ll talk about this tonight. Maybe in between rounds?” He got up off of the bed and winked at her, heading towards the bathroom to shower. When she heard the water turn on, Erin let go of the breath she didn’t know she was holding.  _Well that was close_.

* * *

The day had been uneventful. They managed to make it back home from the grocery store before the snowfall got any heavier and they had stayed cuddled under a blanket in front of the TV for most of the afternoon. Jay offered to cook something for dinner that night, but all Erin wanted to do was stay on the couch, in the comfort of her husband’s arms. They agreed on Chinese food from one of Jay’s favourite places a few blocks away, calling the order for delivery since neither of them wanted to venture back out into the blizzard.

They settled back on the couch and waited for their food to arrive, just enjoying the peace that always came from being wrapped up in each other. Erin’s stomach growled loudly, and was quickly followed by a knock at their door. Jay jumped up and ran to answer; he knew better than to get in the way of his girl’s appetite.

When he returned, Erin was surprised to see that he wasn’t carrying Chinese food. She beamed at the large bouquet of flowers he presented to her.

“Daisies?” Her hormones were already going haywire; it took everything Erin had to stop herself from crying. Instead, she flung herself into Jay’s arms and kissed him softly. “Thanks love.”

As they were pulling away, they were interrupted by another knock. Jay grabbed the food and brought it over to the coffee table. Wearing sweatpants and hoodies and eating Chinese food in front of a hockey game wasn’t what most people imagined when they thought of a romantic Valentine’s Day. But for Erin and Jay, it was perfect.

When they finished eating, Erin announced that it was time for her to give him his present. Instead, Jay surprised her a second time when he told her that he actually had another gift for her. Again she fought the tears that sprang to her eyes when she unwrapped the small box to find a beautiful pair of earrings. They were just her style, understated enough to wear on the job, but elegant enough to make her feel special.

Erin was nervous as she handed him her gift, her eyes not leaving him as she watched him tear off the red gift wrap to expose a thin white box. When he lifted up the lid he was greeted with red tissue paper. There was something written on the lid and he placed the box down on the coffee table to read it. Erin watched anxiously as his eyes darted over the perimeter of the lid, waiting for him to react. “What does it say?” She asked softly, smiling.

“Happy Valentine’s Day to a… DILF? D-I-L-F? I don’t know what this means…?”

“You’re serious, you’ve never heard of the word DILF?” Erin would have laughed at his confusion if she hadn’t been so consumed by her nerves.

“Yeah… I don’t get it.”

“Open the rest.”

Jay pulled the tissue paper back carefully to reveal a small piece of white fabric. He froze as he picked it up, clearing his throat to rid himself of the congested feeling he was getting. “Is… is this for real?” His question did nothing to squash Erin’s nerves; she was afraid to speak, instead just nodding in response.

All of Erin’s nerves washed away when Jay gently grabbed her face in his hands and leaned in to kiss her; she could feel his smile against her lips. “So you’re happy about this?”

Tears were clouding his vision and his emotions were getting the better of him when he finally spoke. “Baby, I promise you I have literally never been happier in my entire life.” The tears ran freely from Erin’s eyes as he once again brought her into his embrace. She wanted to blame the hormones, but she knew that they came from her conscious emotions. Jay pulled back quickly, catching her off guard. He had a look of concern on his face and it made Erin’s heart hammer in her chest.

“Wait, we can still have sex tonight, right?”

She playfully swatted his shoulder. “Actually funny you should say that, because… ‘DILF’ means Dad I’d Like to—” Erin was interrupted by Jay’s lips meeting hers in a searing kiss. As the blissfully happy couple moved to their bedroom, the “Daddy’s Best Backup” onesie temporarily forgotten on the coffee table.

When they had whispered words of ‘maybe one day’ all those years ago, neither Erin nor Jay had any idea that that moment would lead to something this wonderful.

 


	2. Chapter 2

“And Jay, please call if you need me! I’ll be on the first plane back.”

“Babe, I’ll be fine. I can handle it. I’ve looked after him alone before.” Jay happily bounced his first born, Benjamin Henry Halstead, in his arms to prove his point. “See look, he’s happy.”

“Yeah, I know but—”

“No buts. You better get on that plane before it leaves you behind. We’ll be fine.” He adjusted Ben in his arms so Erin could kiss the baby’s forehead, then bent down to press his lips against hers, “I love you. We love you.” The two Halstead boys watched Erin walk through the security doors before turning away and heading back out to the car; the January snow was piled up everywhere and their warm breaths evaporated into the air.

Jay strapped his son into his car seat, snowsuit and all, before gently running his finger across Ben’s cheek. Ben gave his father a gummy smile and babbled excitedly before Jay turned away and closed the door. “Ready for guys weekend, bud?” He asked as he sat down in the driver’s seat. Ben’s squeal of excitement at hearing his Daddy’s voice brought a smile to Jay’s face as he pulled out of his parking space.

By the time they’d arrived home, Ben had fallen asleep, so Jay carefully lifted him out of the car seat. He settled the baby in his arms, watching him stir a little bit before getting comfortable and resting his chin on Jay’s shoulder. Inside, Jay removed Ben’s snowsuit and clothes and dressed him in a more comfortable onesie, all while the baby slept peacefully. He gently placed him in the crib that was kept on his side of the bed and went to the kitchen to prepare dinner for himself.

It had only been half an hour before Jay heard wails coming from the bedroom. Ben’s face was bright red and all scrunched up as tears flowed freely from his eyes. “Hey, it’s okay buddy,” Jay picked Ben up, holding him close to his chest and swaying back and forth. “It’s okay, Daddy’s here.” Jay’s concern grew when the baby didn’t quiet in the comfort and security of his arms; that had always worked before.

“I bet you’re hungry, aren’t you? Let’s get you a bottle.”

On the way back to the kitchen, they stopped by the nursery for a diaper change. Ben’s crying hadn’t stopped or even weakened; it only seemed to intensify when Jay put him down on the change table. “Don’t worry buddy, Daddy’s still here.” He kept a hand on Ben’s upper body as he reached over for a clean diaper. “Okay, let’s get this diaper off. You’ll be much happier soon.” Ben fidgeted as Jay removed the diaper and cleaned him off with a baby wipe. “How does someone so cute make such a big mess, huh?” He cooed down to the baby that was still fussing and squirming.

After a clean diaper was wrapped around the baby’s bottom, and Jay’s hands were washed, the two Halstead men made their way to the kitchen—all while Ben screamed in Jay’s ear. “What’s got you so upset today? Do you miss Mommy?” Jay’s words were soft as he spoke to his little boy, a look of concern on his face; it absolutely killed Jay to see Ben so distressed. “Can you keep a secret little bud?” He pressed his lips to the baby’s forehead. “I miss her too.”

He bounced the baby around as he prepared a bottle. When it was ready, Jay adjusted Ben into the crook of his left arm and quickly plopped it into his mouth. The cries instantly quieted. One of Ben’s little hands came up to rest on Jay’s hand that supported the bottle while his fresh, teary eyes watched his father’s face. He sucked hungrily, as if he only had a specific amount of time to finish. “Slow down little man, you’ll get sick.”

As if on cue, the baby was in a coughing fit. Jay took the bottle and placed it on the countertop before adjusting Ben so that they were chest-to-chest. He patted the baby’s back gently, helping to relieve his gas and the formula that went down the wrong way. Instead of hearing a burp, Jay heard a gurgle and felt something warm along his backside. When he looked over to his left shoulder, he noticed his son lips still had some residue of his spit up, though most of it was now running down the back of Jay’s t-shirt.

He wiped his son’s mouth clean with his index finger before he let him finish off the bottle. Once he was done, Jay took him back into the bedroom so he could grab a new shirt. He made sure to burp Ben first; there was no point changing if Ben was just going to spit more formula on him.

The baby seemed quiet and content as his blue eyes followed Jay around the room from his vantage point on his parents’ bed; Jay had nestled Ben between a few pillows while he changed his shirt. When Jay returned, a smile was etched on Ben’s face.

“Feeling better now?” As Jay picked him up, Ben snuggled his face into the crook of Jay’s neck; he sighed contentedly as made himself comfortable. “How about watching the Blackhawks game before I feed you something and put you to bed? Mommy says you need to try eating some peas tonight.” He knew he wouldn’t get a coherent answer from his son, but Jay’s heart swelled when the baby giggled and looked towards him.

Jay grabbed a beer and set it on the coffee table before going back to retrieve his dinner. Had he not been holding Ben, the two trips wouldn’t have been necessary. They settled on the couch and turned the TV on to the game. Jay looked down at Ben and grinned; he had dressed his son in a Blackhawks onesie from Ruzek just for the game.

Ben wasn’t exactly interested in the hockey game, instead observing his surroundings—the team had joked that Erin and Jay had a junior detective on their hands, he was always taking it all in—and occasionally wanting his father’s attention.

Jay had reclined himself across the couch with Ben resting in the middle of his chest. He watched his son’s eyelids droop as he ran his hand over his back. He could faintly feel Ben’s pulse against him; it was racing compared to his usual slow and steady beat. When Jay was sure he was asleep, he lifted his hand to run through Ben’s mess of dark hair, inhaling that wonderful baby smell.

At the end of the second period, Ben started to fuss again. Jay rose from the couch and tried to gently rock him back to sleep, but that only seemed to aggravate the baby. “What’s wrong, buddy? Not feeling too well?” Jay lifted the back of his hand to feel Ben’s forehead. He frowned noticing that it was warmer than usual. “It looks like you’ve got a little fever. Don’t worry, Daddy will make it all better.”

Jay moved into the kitchen and opened the cabinet where they kept the medicine. He grabbed the box of Baby Tylenol and turned away to place Ben down on the counter. He let Ben recline against his abdomen, but his cries got louder as he felt Jay’s hands move away from him.

“Just one second, bud. I just need to get the medicine ready.” He filled up the small syringe with the required dose before turning his attention back to Ben, turning the baby around and placing him back into his feeding position.

“Okay, I’m so sorry buddy, but this will taste kinda yucky.” Ben continued fussing, even when Jay made funny faces to try to get him to open his mouth and laugh. After a few minutes with no success, he realized the baby wouldn’t be laughing any time soon. So Jay got creative and tried a different method, setting Ben back down on the counter with his back resting against Jay’s abdomen. He bent down to see the baby’s face and pinched his chubby little cheeks together, holding the baby’s mouth open. He quickly squirted the medicine in and closed his mouth, letting the medicine make its way down to his stomach. Jay placed the syringe on the counter and picked up Ben in an effort to soothe him.

He rocked gently, hoping for Ben to fall asleep. When Jay finally heard his breathing even out and grow deeper, he looked down to see his little boy’s eyes shut. Relief washed over him. Jay didn’t want to move around too much in fear that he would again wake his baby, so he walked around the living room and watched the game on mute.

In the middle of the third period, despite Jay’s attempts of being gentle and quiet, Ben woke. He fussed a little before throwing up all over the front of Jay’s shirt, then erupting into wild cries once again.

Jay was frantic. He had never seen Ben so miserable. He wanted to call Erin, but he knew she was busy with a case in New York. He also figured she would never leave him alone again with Ben. The baby seemed to grow even more agitated as the seconds ticked on. Jay couldn’t bear to see him in so much pain. He finally picked up his cell phone and pressed a number on his speed dial.

“Hey, I need you.”

* * *

Jay was waiting by the door, pulling it open quickly the second he heard a knock.

“Sorry, I came as fast as—what the hell are you doing?” Will Halstead was greeted by the sight of his very cranky nephew clad in only a diaper and his younger brother who was shirtless in the doorway with his son pressed up against his chest.

“He’s so warm, Will. I remember reading online that skin-to-skin can help soothe a baby.”

“Did it work?”

“I don’t know! He just _won’t stop crying_  and he threw up and Erin’s not here and she’ll never trust me again—” Jay was panicking.

“Dude, relax. Go lay him down on the bed, let me take a look at him.”

When Jay set Ben down in the middle of the bed, his cries just intensified. He reached his arms towards his father, basically demanding to be picked up. “I know buddy, I can’t right now. Uncle Will needs to check you out.”

Will entered the room and placed his medical bag beside Ben on the bed. First, he took out his stethoscope and listened to the baby’s lungs and heart, counting the respirations and pulse rate. “Pulse is good, so is his breathing. He’s a bit stuffy though.” Next, he retrieved a small tongue depressor and his penlight and tried to check his nephew’s throat. It was difficult with the baby thrashing around, desperate to be held. “Jay, could you just try to hold his head straight? He keeps moving.” Jay did as instructed and even that small amount of contact seemed to calm Ben, at least a little bit.

“Everything looks fine.” Will grabbed Ben’s little fists in his larger hands and picked them up from the bed before dropping his arms gently. He did the same with his legs.

“Will, you can play with him later. Fix him!” Jay hissed at his brother, annoyed that he wasn’t doing anything to help his sick little boy.

“Relax, Jay. You’re overreacting. I’m just checking his strength.”

“Well you better fucking fix him or Erin will have my head. And when she does, I’ll have yours.”

Will gave Jay a pointed look before speaking. “You know, you shouldn’t swear in front of your son. And maybe put on a shirt or something?” He stopped his teasing when he saw the anger in Jay’s eyes. Reluctantly, Jay moved toward his dresser to get his  _third_  shirt of the night.

By the time he returned to the bedside, Ben’s fussing had started to weaken; he was growing tired. Jay watched as Will reached into his kit again and pulled something out that Jay had never seen before. “What are you doing?!” Jay asked, his voice laced with concern. Will was aiming this weird bulbous device towards his son’s face.

“It’s a snot sucker. Ben is congested. I’m going to clear his nose out so he can breathe easier.”

_Oh, so that’s what it is._

Jay was immediately pulled out of his thoughts when he heard Ben screech at the top of his lungs as his brother squeezed the bulb. “What the hell man?! You’re hurting him!”

“It’s not hurting him Jay, I know what I’m doing. He’s uncomfortable and it just feels weird to him.”

“Well hurry up, you’re upsetting him.”

Will rolled his eyes at his brother’s outburst before moving the bulb over to his nephew’s other nostril. He repeated the process and could feel Jay cringe at the sounds Ben was making. “Okay, all done. He’s just got a bug, probably from being out in the cold. Did you give him some Baby Tylenol?” Jay nodded in response. “Give him some more at the proper time, other than that, he’s just going to be fussy, there’s not really anything you can do about it. Just try to get him to sleep.”

“Yeah, definitely. Thanks Will.”

“Anything for my nephew,” Will grinned, affectionately grabbing hold of Ben’s little foot. “Hey, did you see the final score of the game? I missed it when I rushed over here.”

“Hawks lost 3-2, OT.”

“Damn. Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you two soon. Take good care of my nephew.”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course.”

Jay picked Ben up off of the bed. The baby was just whimpering; he was obviously exhausted. The three Halstead men walked to the front door and said their goodbyes before Jay collapsed back on the couch with Ben on his chest. The baby nuzzled his face into Jay’s neck, something Ben liked to do with Erin. Jay smiled and started rubbing circles along the small of Ben’s bare back, hoping to lull him to sleep.  

“You know, you’re my best buddy.” Jay said, placing a soft kiss against Ben’s hair. He pulled the blanket from the back of the couch and draped it over his son’s fevered body, waiting for Ben to fall asleep before he followed. Father and son slept peacefully nestled together on the couch.


	3. Chapter 3

Christmas had been Jay’s favourite holiday for as long as he could remember, and he had always hoped to instill that same joy in his own children one day. Erin didn’t have the happiest holiday memories, but she wanted to give her children the childhood she hadn’t been lucky enough to have herself. Together, Jay and Erin were determined to create the perfect Christmas for their own family.

They had trudged through the heavy December snow to cut down a tree, and Jay had a childlike gleam in his own eyes as he and Ben decorated it together. Technically it was their firstborn’s second Christmas, but it was the first that he would truly remember; they wanted to make it special. At fifteen months old, Ben was  _just_  starting to show excitement at stories of Santa Claus and talk of opening presents.

Erin was curled up on the couch with newborn Zachary William Halstead nestled against her chest, beaming with pride as she watched Jay and Ben interact. She honestly couldn’t tell who was more excited, father or son.

“Okay buddy, time for the finishing touch,” Jay announced, pulling the last decoration from the box and lifting Ben up onto his shoulders. He placed it in his son’s hand and helped him to guide the twinkling star to its rightful place at the top of their tree. “Awesome job little man! Now remember, just like I showed you,” he made a fist and held it to Ben. The toddler mimicked his father’s action and giggled when Jay pushed his large fist against Ben’s smaller one. Hearing the little boy’s laughter had Jay grinning from ear to ear.

“Wait! Before you put him down I want to take a picture,” Erin exclaimed from her perch on the couch as she grabbed her phone from the coffee table. Jay turned to face her, he and Ben with matching smiles etched on their faces.

Jay pulled Ben down from his shoulders and perched him on his hip. “Well little man, we should probably get you to bed! You’ve got a big day tomorrow—are we going to see Santa?” Jay’s smile grew as he spoke; he and Erin had been trying to build their older son’s excitement for Santa for weeks in anticipation.

“Jay, let me put him to bed? I feel like I haven’t been spending enough time with him now that the new baby is here,” Erin bit her lower lip, clearly feeling guilty.

“Sure thing babe, gives me some time with my littlest dude!” Jay and Erin effortlessly exchanged children. Going from one child to two had been overwhelming at first, but they had really found their groove in the last couple of days. Erin started toward Ben’s bedroom when Jay spoke again, “Hey Er? Ben is so happy and he loves you so much. You have absolutely nothing to feel bad about babe.”

Jay had read her like a book, as usual. His words reassured her, and a smile appeared across Erin’s face. “You’re amazing.”

“Oh yeah,” He winked as Erin moved back into the room to kiss him before taking Ben to bed.

Jay sunk down into the couch with baby Zachary in his arms. At only two weeks old, he was so tiny—Jay had forgotten how small newborns were. “Hey Zach-man, it’s just you and me for a little bit,” he cooed, smiling with pride as ran his finger along the baby’s cheek. “Mommy and Daddy and Ben love you so much, we’re so happy you’re finally here with us. Just in time for Christmas. I know you’ll probably sleep through most of it, but it’s going to be so much fun to all be together as a family.” Jay leaned down to place a soft kiss on the newborn’s forehead; he couldn’t believe how lucky he was.

As Erin made her way back into the living room, she paused and leaned against the doorway, completely entranced by Jay holding and talking to their new baby. Her heart swelled at the sight; seeing her big strong husband be so gentle with their babies made her love him even more than she ever thought possible. It was mesmerizing.

* * *

The next day was the unit’s Christmas celebration. From the way Jay and Erin had loaded up, you’d think they were leaving for a month, not just heading down to the district for the afternoon. “Hey babe, do you think we’re bringing enough stuff?” Jay asked sarcastically, smirking as he surveyed the mountain of Christmas gifts and baby and toddler gear that had filled their vehicle.

Erin just laughed in response, playfully swatting at Jay as she moved to buckle Ben in; Zach was already fast asleep in his own car seat.

They enjoyed a comfortable silence for the first few minutes of the ride. The boys were both sleeping in the back, and Jay held Erin’s hand in his as he drove his family toward the district.

As they pulled into the parking lot, Erin broke the silence: “Do you think Ben will be scared?”

“Of Santa? No way! Honestly I think we should be more worried that he’ll recognize that it’s Adam under that beard and hat—now  _that_  would be enough to scare anyone.” Jay was trying to ease his wife’s worries, but secretly he too was feeling anxious about their older son’s reaction to his first visit with Santa. Ben was still shy around new people.

Zach’s stirring in the backseat pulled his parents from their thoughts.

“Oh, he probably needs to be changed,” Erin murmured, unbuckling her seatbelt and reaching for the door.

“I’ve got it babe,” Jay offered with a smile. “Why don’t you and Ben take some of these presents inside? The little guy and I will join you in a minute?”

Not only did this plan give Erin some extra time with Ben, Jay was excited at the prospect of being the one to show the new baby off to everyone. Voight had been at the hospital when Erin delivered, and several of their colleagues had visited in the last two weeks, but this was Zach’s first visit to the district, his first time meeting their entire District 21 family.

* * *

“Ho, ho, ho Merry Christmas!” Adam’s fake Santa voice caught the attention of everyone in the room. The guys were all trying their best not to burst out laughing—Adam looked even more ridiculous than usual.

Some of the children seemed excited, while others were completely terrified. Emily, Kim and Adam’s eight-month-old daughter, immediately recoiled into the safety of her mother’s arms, and away from the strange bearded man approaching her. Adam looked down at his daughter with concern before glancing around the room. Jay had a smirk on his face and Adam just knew that if the kids weren’t around, Jay would  _absolutely_  be calling him out for scaring his own child.

“Who wants to sit on Santa’s lap?” Adam asked as he sat down in the chair at the front on the room. A chorus of “ _Me!_ ” was cheered.

After the older children had all taken their turn, Kim approached Adam with their daughter. Emily had been calm, but the moment she realized where they were headed, she started fussing all over again; she kicked and screamed as her mother handed her off to the strange man. “Aw, what’s got you so upset Ems?” Adam bounced his daughter on his knee as he held her little waist. Upon recognizing her father’s voice, the little girl’s tears stopped. She gazed up at him and cooed. “There’s that smile. I know exactly what you want for Christmas.” Kim snapped a photo on her phone while their baby was still smiling and happy. He nuzzled her nose with his and placed a kiss on her forehead before handing her back to Kim.

“You ready little man?” Jay walked towards Adam with Ben in his arms. He watched his son take in the man decked out in red and white. Ben held his father’s shirt tighter in his little fists as they got closer.

“No! Dada, no!” Tears had pooled in his blue eyes, clouding his vision. He burrowed his face into Jay’s neck hoping that his father wouldn’t let the strange man get any closer.

“It’s okay, it’s just Santa. He wants to say hello and find out what you want for Christmas.”

“Dada no.” Ben whined.

“Don’t you want Santa to bring you any presents?” Jay asked desperately.

Ben’s cries grew louder. “No, no, no!”

Jay glanced over at Erin who was standing by, ready to photograph the moment. Her face was full of concern as she eventually shrugged at her husband. Neither of them wanted to traumatize Ben; it looked like a visit with Santa might have to wait until next year.

But Jay was determined; he pulled Ben closer to his chest and started moving even faster to where Adam was sitting. “It’s okay buddy, Daddy’s here, it’s going to be okay little man.” Before he could give it another moment’s hesitation, Jay sat right down on Adam’s lap. “Don’t say a damn word Ruzek,” Jay hissed out of the corner of his mouth.

“There’s like a million things I could say right now,” Adam muttered as he wrapped his arm around Jay, trying to ignore the irritation radiating from his friend.

Ben was noticeably calmer with his father there, but Adam could still sense his discomfort; he tickled Ben’s arm to get his attention. When the little boy’s eyes were on him, Adam tugged his beard down a little, revealing his true identity with a wink.

With Ben finally looking cheerier, Jay plastered a smile on his face and motioned for Erin to take the picture. He rose from Adam’s lap the instant she had finished.

Erin was laughing hysterically when Jay reached her side.

“I hope it’s a damn good picture. I swear to God if I sat on Ruzek’s lap for nothing—”

“Oh babe, this is the best gift ever,” Erin laughed even louder as she reached to swipe at the tears forming in her eyes.

“Let me see!” Jay demanded, reaching to try to snatch the phone from Erin’s hand as she continued to giggle at him. He grabbed the phone and looked down at the screen, his eyes scanned the picture; Jay was the only one looking at the camera as he sat perched on Adam’s knee. Ruzek was looking over at Ben, his fake beard hanging haphazardly and a smile plastered on his face. Ben was in the middle of a deep belly laugh, his eyes squinted from excitement as he reached one of his little hands over to his Uncle Adam. Jay smiled at the photo; although his son wasn’t looking directly at the camera as he had hoped, Ben was still happy. And that’s all Jay could ask for.

Voight approached Jay and Erin, rocking their sleeping baby in his arms. “Hey Halstead, isn’t it Zachary’s turn?” He chuckled as he walked off with the newborn, shaking his head at the look on Jay’s face. Even after all these years he still loved messing with his son-in-law.

“I’m not sitting on Adam’s lap again. Never again Erin,” Jay had a serious look on his face.

“Oh please, you would do it again in a heartbeat to make your babies happy,” Erin smiled at Jay as she reached up to run her hand along his chest, giving his pec a little squeeze. “Besides,” she leaned closer to whisper in his ear, “I’ll sit on your lap later.”

Jay’s eyes darkened and his jaw went slack, “You just gave birth, Erin, don’t tease me.”

“True,” Erin shot Jay a pointed a look before continuing, “but that doesn’t mean I can’t find other ways to make it worth your while.” She smiled at him before bending to pick up Ben, walking away from him with a little extra sway in her hips.

As he watched her walk away with their son, he couldn’t help but think that this was going to be his best Christmas yet. Jay had never thought it would be possible to love Erin more than he already did, but seeing her as a mother to their children? She was absolutely incredible.

Jay’s thoughts drifted to his own mother, and how she was surely watching over him and the life he had created, the amazing family he was building. He reminisced about holidays cuddled up by the fireplace under a warm blanket, drinking hot chocolate, and telling Christmas stories. His smile grew larger as he thought about sharing those same magical moments with his own children one day.


	4. Chapter 4

Jay was up extra early that morning. Benjamin was awake at five o’clock whining from his crib, and Jay wanted to let Erin get a couple extra hours of sleep. Work had been extremely difficult that week, full of late nights and early mornings. Jay hated how little time he got with his son as a result—ten-month-old Ben was always fast asleep whenever he got home. He happily hopped out of bed, grabbed his son, and headed downstairs.

It was a wonderful way to start his day, curled up on the couch with his little man. They spent an hour or so snuggled together before Jay moved Ben into his high chair so he could start making breakfast for his family, a rarity for a weekday morning.

Jay could just hear the shower turn on upstairs over the sound of cartoon characters on the TV. He smiled at the thought that they would soon have  _two_ children to fuss over. As soon as they found out Jay had tried to get Erin to go on desk duty like in her first pregnancy, but—as always—he found himself powerless to her arguments. They knew what to expect this time around, so they reached a compromise that she would only go out in the field until her vest stopped fitting.

He’d always been careful helping her with her vest, but now he was even more cautious. That vest was protecting two precious lives now. Usually he would give her a quick kiss before they left the rollup (professionalism be damned); now his hand would linger on the small swell of her belly. He knew he wouldn’t feel the baby’s kicks for a few months, but knowing that there was another little Halstead on the way always made his heart leap with excitement.

Jay found himself looking over towards Erin any time they separated from each other. He would never forgive himself if something happened to her. And for some reason, he was even more protective of her at home. Maybe it was because they didn’t have to be professional, or maybe it was the way she would look at him when her fluctuating hormones worked in his favour.

Erin walked down the stairs smiling as she looked over at her son eating Cheerios in his high chair. His eyes followed her as she approached him, clearly getting excited as he dropped the Cheerio in his hand to reach out for her.

“Hey baby! Are you eating Cheerios? Mama loves Cheerios!” Erin knew that Ben was close to saying ‘Mama’, and she was hopeful that it would be his first word. He had mumbled it here and there, but he could never really get the sound out. Instead of words, however, Ben replied with excited babbles and shrieks. “Really? Wow, that sounds exciting.” She bent down and placed a kiss onto his forehead before looking over to Jay who was watching them from his position near the sink in the kitchen.

Since he was up first, he hadn’t showered yet. His hair was still ruffled and his beard cast a sexy shadow on his face. Erin pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she stared at Jay; her hormones seemed to be a thousand times worse this pregnancy. Anytime she saw him, she wanted him—regardless of what they were doing.

As she walked over to him, she noticed that his sweatpants were sitting dangerously low on his hips. She placed a kiss on his lips and tried to sneak her hands around his torso but was caught off guard when he pulled away from her abruptly and moved to tend to the pancake skillet he had heating up. Huffing in exasperation, Erin stepped closer, coming up behind him and wrapping her arms around him.

“Babe…”

“Yes, Jay.”

“The skillet is hot and your hands are really close.”

“Then step away a bit.” She slid her hands up and under his shirt, letting her fingers feel the dips and crevices of each abdominal muscle. She balanced on the tips of her toes to kiss the sensitive skin on the back of his neck and smiled when she felt him shiver.  

“E-Erin.”

“Hmm?”

“Ben is right there.”

“He’s not watching.”

“He would hear. We don’t have time. We need to drop him off and I still have to shower.”

“Maybe we can have a little workout during your shower? Then Ben won’t see or hear anything.” Her hand slipped down and felt around the waistband of Jay’s sweatpants before dipping even lower. She gripped him through his boxers and smirked as he tried to suppress a groan.

“Erin, please don’t.” He pleaded with her, feeling desperate.

“Something wrong babe?”

“If you keep that up, there’s no going back. And one of us needs to watch Ben, remember?” He turned around looking down at her seriously as her grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand from his pants.

She smiled deviously and raised her eyebrow at him. “No going back, huh? Keep an eye on Ben will you?” His eyes widened as he realized what she was doing.

Erin slipped her fingers back below the waistband of his pants before sliding them down his legs and letting them pool at his feet. She rubbed her hand against him, teasingly applying pressure to the places she knew were sensitive. Soon, his boxers joined his pants around his ankles.

Jay glanced over to Ben who was still sitting content in his high chair, occasionally picking up a Cheerio in between his thumb and pointer finger. He was engrossed in the assortment of colours displayed on the TV as they sang excitedly. Jay gripped the edge of the countertop in anticipation, but they quickly tangled in her hair when he felt her mouth take him in.

Erin smiled as she heard him suck in a breath. When she looked up, she noticed that his eyes would close slowly only to open up to glance over nervously at Ben. She moved her right hand from his left hip as she toyed with him. The groan that came from his mouth only aroused Erin in her pregnant state even more, as she took more of him in.

“F-fucking hell, Erin.” He gasped as he felt himself grow harder. He groaned in frustration when he no longer felt the warmth of her mouth, but rather the cool air of the kitchen.

“Language, Jay.”

“I can’t help it when you’re doing that.” She smiled up at him before popping her tongue out of her mouth to dart across his tip. His legs shook as he felt her torture and his balls tightened when he felt her take him in again. He clenched his teeth, wanting to abide by Erin’s rule, but it was impossible. “Damn, Erin.” This time she didn’t stop when he spoke. She let her tongue and lips torture him until she heard the voice of her son mimicking his father.

“Damn.”

Erin stopped abruptly and opened her eyes; when she looked up at Jay he was biting his bottom lip and was looking over at Ben. The little boy was laughing as he watched the reactions of his parents. Jay quickly bent down and picked up his pants and secured them around his waist. His arousal had vanished the second he felt Erin’s eyes burning into him.

“Jay, what did you just teach our son?” Erin asked pointedly as she watched her husband walk around the countertop toward the baby.

“Damn!” The little boy shouted again. A series of giggles followed as he saw Jay smiling, trying to contain his own laughter.

“Jay this isn’t funny! What if he says it at daycare? What’s going to happen when people ask what his first word was? What are you going to tell them?”

Jay shrugged, his eyes twinkling with mischief, “I’m going tell them that his first word was da-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” Erin was fuming as she walked over to her husband and son. “And when someone asks where or who he learned it from, what are you going say? ‘Oh my wife was giving me a blowjob in the kitchen and he heard me say it.’ This is horrible Jay!”

“Erin, babe, relax,” Jay wrapped his arm around her, planting a soft kiss on the side of her head. “You’re blowing this way out of proportion.”

“Out of proportion?! Jay our child’s first word was a curse word!”

“Damn isn’t even that bad of a word. Be thankful it wasn’t something else. And if you’re going to blame anyone blame that tongue of yours.”

“Well my tongue and I won’t be taking any blame from you for a while.” She moved closer to pick up her giggling little boy and bring him to the couch in the living room. “The  _three_  of us will join you when you’re ready to feed us. There’s no telling what else you’re going to teach our son this morning.”

* * *

Zachary was nine months old when he clearly said his first word—fortunately it was much tamer than his brother’s. He was stretched out on a blanket on the living room floor, while his big brother was snuggled in between their parents on the couch. Benjamin had been under the weather and was therefore extra clingy.

Zachary was content chewing on a teething ring until Jay got up and off the couch to lie down next to him on the floor. The baby dropped the toy immediately and smiled as his father moved closer to nuzzle their noses together. His laughter echoed through the house as Jay continued to play with him.

Erin watched from the couch, smiling as she snuggled a now sleeping Ben in her arms. She absolutely loved to cuddle her boys. Ben was growing more and more independent every day, so she relished these moments when he wanted nothing more than to be in her arms; usually it was hard to get their reckless firstborn to sit still.

Zachary was the complete opposite—he absolutely loved to be in the safety of his parents’ embrace and never hesitated to cuddle into Jay’s neck to fall asleep. Erin often joked that Jay had become his human pillow, but their hearts swelled whenever it happened. Their younger son was cautious in every sense of the word. He was wary of trying new foods or playing with an unfamiliar toy. He was a careful crawler, never wanting to get too far away from either of his parents. And he was definitely more reserved when it came to playing with his much more spirited brother, always reaching for the security of one of his parents. While Benjamin’s carefree attitude was reminiscent of Erin, Zachary was clearly a mini-Jay.

Erin got up off of the couch to take Ben to bed. She smiled at the sound of laughter—her husband’s deep chuckle combined with the baby’s excited giggles. She turned on the light to Ben’s room and gently placed him on the mattress. Ben stirred slightly and Erin rubbed his back to soothe him back to sleep before pulling the covers up over his little body and peppering soft kisses on his forehead. After checking that the Spiderman night light was plugged in and that her son was indeed still asleep, Erin left the door open just a crack before she walked toward her bedroom.   

“ERIN!” Her husband’s shouting from the living room made her heart drop to her stomach. She turned and picked up her pace as she rushed towards the commotion. When she turned the corner to the living room, she was confused when she saw the wide smile on Jay’s face as he sat beside the baby on the floor.

“What?! What’s wrong?”

“Do it again Zach!” His excitement was palpable and childlike and Erin couldn’t stop herself from smiling. Her heart was still racing but once she had realized that nothing was wrong, she allowed herself to relax. Zach was sitting on his blanket, his eyes darting back and forth as he looking at both of his parents. “Erin, I swear he just said mama. C’mon buddy, say it again! Mama.  _Mama_.”

Erin raised her eyebrow in doubt, folding her arms across her chest as she moved closer to join her husband and baby. “Jay, there’s no way. He’s barely nine months old!”

“I swear babe, he said mama!” Jay reached his hand to grasp her forearm and pull her down into his lap.

Erin laughed as Jay nuzzled his face in her neck. “You’re crazy. He’s still too young.”

“You’re forgetting, he’s  _my_ son, Erin. We already know he has my good looks, obviously he has my razor sharp mind too.”

Erin rolled her eyes and laughed again. “Whatever, I still don’t believe you. I’m going to go finish cleaning up in the kitchen.”

“I’m sorry Erin, I must have heard you wrong. Did you say you were going to  _clean up_?!”

“Shut up.” Erin playfully swatted his shoulder, laughing as she rose and made her way into the kitchen. Zach’s eyes followed her until he she was out of his line of vision; then his attention shifted back to his father.

“Come on Zach-man, don’t you want to show your mama how smart you are?” Jay asked, reaching over to tickle the baby’s belly. He smiled at his son’s response of shrieks and babbles. “Okay, I think it’s bedtime for you sir.” Jay scooped up his youngest son up into his arms. “Let’s go say goodnight to mama.”

They stopped in the kitchen just as Erin was putting the last of the dishes away. “Hey babe, special delivery!” Jay turned Zach around in his arms, holding him around his waist and lifting him close to Erin’s face.

“Good night baby,” Erin leaned in to kiss the infant. “Mama loves you!”

Jay gave Erin a kiss before settling Zach on his hip and starting toward the nursery. He had only taken two steps out of the room when a distinct “Mama!” spilled from the baby’s lips.

“Er! You heard that, right?” Jay turned quickly to look at his wife, his eyes wide and filled with joy. He could tell by her stunned reaction that she had indeed heard. “I told you he said mama!”

Erin grinned from ear to ear as she ran over to her husband and baby boy, wrapping her arms around them both and giving Zach a big kiss. “You said mama baby! You’re so smart!”

“Just like his daddy,” Jay said with a wink. With his wife still in his arms, he cuddled Zach closer to his chest and the trio headed upstairs to tuck him in. Nothing could wipe the smiles off of Jay and Erin’s faces in that moment.

* * *

Benjamin and Zachary were spending a boys’ day with their Uncle Will, so Jay and Erin were relishing some time spent focusing on their baby girl. When Madeline Camille came along, they were worried that their busy little boys would occupy too much of their time, but their girl was having none of that—Madeline was dramatic from the moment she was born.

_The Halstead family was spending one last weekend in Wisconsin before baby number three arrived in a few weeks. Ben and Zach were both fast asleep, and Jay and Erin were cuddled up together on the couch._

_Erin got up to refill her tea in an attempt to alleviate the discomfort of the Braxton Hicks contractions that had been affecting her all evening. She didn’t remember it ever being this bad with either of the boys._

_“Um, Jay?” Erin called out._

_Jay rose from the couch and started toward the kitchen to check on her. “Everything okay babe?”_

_“I think… I think my water just broke?”_

_“Ha ha, very funny.”_

_“I’m serious.” His eyes widened so much at her statement that Erin thought they might fall out of his head. She saw his shoulders tense at the pool of liquid on the floor._

_“You’re fucking with me. That’s just water from your tea.”_

_“I wish. I guess those weren’t just Braxton Hicks.”_

_“Fuck Erin, what are we supposed to do?! We’re in the middle of nowhere. And it’s late. And the boys are sleeping. And—” For a detective who worked well under pressure, Jay was completely freaking out._

_“Jay, relax,” she waddled over to him and ran her hand up his arm to try to calm him. “It’s not like the baby is going to just fall out! We have some time here. I’m going to shower and then we can go to the hospital? Can you go check on the boys? Let them sleep a little longer though, it’s going to be a long night.”_

_“Right. You’re right. Okay, yeah sure babe.” While Erin showered, Jay poked his head into the boys’ room. He couldn’t believe how big they were getting—Benjamin was almost five, and little Zachary would be four on his next birthday. It was amazing how time could fly._

_“Jay!” He was interrupted by Erin’s shouts from their bedroom; Jay took off in that direction like a bat out of hell._

_“What is it, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?”_

_“I… I think I was wrong,” Erin had a pained look on her face. “The contractions are getting really close together. This is happening too fast.”_

_Jay froze in the doorway. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t move. He didn’t know what to do._

_“Jay!!” Erin called for him again._

_“I’ll call an ambulance.”_

_Erin grit her teeth and doubled over in pain as another contraction hit her. “I don’t… I don’t think… there’s time for that. This baby _ _…__  is coming now.”_

_“Now?! But… what…?” Again he was stunned._

_“What do we do Jay?” Erin was clearly terrified; Jay knew he had to pull himself together and try to be strong for her._

_“I’ll call Will.”_

_Erin hissed at her husband’s words. “What the hell is Will going to do? He’s not here!”_

_“He’s going to have to tell me what to do… how to deliver this baby.” Jay had already dialled his brother’s number and was waiting as the phone rang. “Come on Will, wake the fuck up!”_

_“Hello?” Will’s voice was groggy on the other end._

_“Erin’s in labour!” Jay got straight to the point; there was no time for pleasantries._

_“What? Jay? Aren’t you guys in…? Dude, you need to get to a hospital!”_

_“Are you fucking kidding me right now?! You don’t think I know that?! It’s too late! The baby is coming! You need to help me!” Jay snapped, the stress of the situation clearly affecting him._

_“Okay, okay, put me on speaker.” Jay did as his brother told him. “Hey Erin, how ya feelin’?”_

_“Oh hey Will, I’m just peachy, thanks for asking! Labour is just the most fun thing_ ever _!” Erin answered sarcastically. She sucked in her breath as she felt another contraction coming. “Will… why is this… happening… so fast? It wasn’t… like this with… the boys.”_

_Will could hear the distress in his sister-in-law’s voice. “Labour almost always progresses faster when you’ve done it before. Your body is already familiar with what’s happening. Jay, I’m going to need you to go grab some stuff.”_

_“Jay don’t leave me here alone.” Erin cried._

_“But I need to get the stuff. I’ll be gone two minutes, max.”_

_“Put me on FaceTime.” Will called out from the speaker. He heard Erin sigh before the master bedroom of the family’s cabin appeared on his screen. “Okay Jay, I need you to get some towels and the medical kit from the cabinet in the kitchen. Erin, I want you to take nice deep, slow breaths. Follow my breathing.” Will began to breathe in and out at a steady pace and Erin did her best to follow suit. Jay soon returned with a stack of towels and a medical kit._

_“Okay I called an ambulance; they said since we live so far out of town the next ambulance will reach us in fifteen to thirty minutes. I left the door open so they could come in.”_

_“THIRTY MINUTES?!” Erin exclaimed._

_“No… fifteen to thirty minutes. So it could literally be twenty.”_

_“Okay guys we’re getting off topic here.” Will’s voice interrupted. “Jay put the towels and kit down. I want you to put a hand on Erin’s abdomen and tell me what you feel.” Jay did as he was instructed and felt around for anything that seemed unusual._

_“There’s like a crunching underneath my hand, almost like cramping.”_

_“Good, that’s Erin’s muscles involuntarily tightening and relaxing as she’s having contractions. If you can, I want you to time it from when you feel it getting tighter until it relaxes. Erin, all you can do is keep breathing.”_

_Erin rolled her eyes, “You know Will, I was thinking now might be a great time to stop.”_

_“Will, her contraction was about fifty seconds.”_

_“Oh…” Will’s voice was soft on the other end of the line._

_“Oh? What do you mean oh?!” Erin asked in a panic. Her body was coated in sweat as she sat on the bed._

_“Well, I was hoping that you could wait for an ambulance, but I guess not. It doesn’t look like that baby is willing to wait that long. Ready to deliver your child Jay?” Erin swore that she had never seen her husband so pale. His hand dropped from rubbing her abdomen and he looked over to the stack of towels._

_“M-me?” He offered weakly._

_“No, you can have one of the boys do it.” Will stated sarcastically. “Obviously you, Jay. Okay, I want you to get Erin in a comfortable position on the floor on her back with her legs bent.” Jay did as he was told and helped ease Erin down to the floor. He fluffed a couple of pillows behind her head and helped her remove her bottoms before placing her legs in the position Will said._

_“Okay now what?” Jay asked. He looked at Will from his phone that was rested against a pillow._

_“I need you to check if the baby’s crowning.” Erin was sure Jay was going to pass out. He looked down at Erin and noticed a bulging._

_“Um, yeah. I think the baby’s coming.”_

_“Okay, grab a towel and roll it up. Place that towel under Erin so she’s elevated about five centimetres. Then take another towel and put it on the floor in between her legs. Both of you listen very carefully to this next part. Jay, when Erin begins to push, you need to place the palm of your hand on the baby’s head and apply very gentle pressure to its head. Erin, on your next contraction you’re going to bring your chin to your chest and hold your breath for seven to ten seconds. Don’t arch your back and don’t hold your breath any longer than ten seconds.”_

_As Erin’s next contraction hit her, she did as Will instructed. She could see Jay was also moving around his arms doing his task._

_“It’s coming! The baby’s coming!” Jay said excitedly. “Wow, good job, babe.”_

_“Jay, how much of the baby’s head came out?” Will asked._

_“Not much, maybe up to the top of the nose, in between the eyebrows.”_

_“Okay, when you see the nose and mouth you need to do two very important things. The baby’s face is probably facing down and will eventually turn so it’s facing one of Erin’s thighs. You’re going to need to check if the umbilical cord is around the baby’s neck. If it is, you’re going to use two fingers and slip it over the baby’s shoulder. Then you’re going to use some gauze to clean away any fluids in the nose or mouth of the baby.” Jay wiped the sweat from his forehead as he nodded at Will. He noticed Natalie had now joined his brother; the worried look on her face did nothing to reassure Jay._

_“I’ve got to push!” Erin cried out._

_“Okay Erin, go ahead. Just like I told you.” Will instructed. Once again, Erin put her chin to her chest and pushed. She felt the baby’s nose come out and she screamed in agony._

_“The head is out. Stop pushing Erin.” Jay said anxiously. He first checked for the cord and then cleaned out the baby’s mouth._

_“Erin, all you need to do is light pushing now. You’ve done this before so you know what to do. Jay, when the baby’s feet come out, you’re going to need to grasp them. It’s important that you don’t pull on the cord; wait for the paramedics to deal with that. Once the baby is fully out, you’re going to need to dry and wrap it up in something warm. Then place the baby to its side so it can drain any fluids. You can also use gauze again to clean the nose and mouth.”_

_In less than five minutes, Jay was holding his baby and following Will’s directions. He was so caught up in his task that he didn’t realize that the baby wasn’t crying._

_“Will…” Nat’s voice said fearfully in the phone. Jay looked up and saw both of their worried looks. There was also a look of panic and shock on Erin’s face._

_“I-it’s a g-girl…” Jay choked out. “W-Will, she isn’t crying. WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?!” Jay screamed, tears forming in his eyes. He had never been more terrified in his entire life._

_“Is she on her side?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Okay, rub her back gently and tap the bottom of her feet.” Jay did so with shaking hands. He released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when a shrill cry rang out. “Jay! Wrap her up, she needs to stay warm. Make sure you’re not tugging on the umbilical cord. You’re going to have to place her between Erin’s legs and wait for the paramedics.”_

_As Jay finished up, he finally noticed the tears running down his face. He grabbed his phone to show Will and Natalie the newest addition to the Halstead family before he moved closer to Erin and kissed her deeply. His bloody hands were still shaking but he didn’t notice or care. He was just thrilled and relieved that their baby was okay._

_“A baby girl, Erin! We have a baby girl.” He said through his tears, kissing her again. They heard a sharp knock from the front door followed by a booming voice._

_“Anyone call for an ambulance?”_

Jay was in the shower getting ready for a day with his two favourite girls while Erin sat on their bed changing Maddie’s diaper and getting her dressed. He left the bathroom door open so he could hear her babbling over the sound of the water running—their baby girl was so close to talking, and Jay didn’t want to miss that milestone.

“Hey babe, you almost done in there?” Erin called out to him from their bedroom as she tickled Maddie’s belly and planted a kiss on the baby’s nose.

“Just give me two minutes!”

Maddie perked up at the sound of her father’s voice. As she looked around for him, her mother spoke to her, “Who’s that? Are you looking for Daddy?”

“Dada!”

Erin heard a thud and in a split second Jay burst into the room, dripping wet wearing nothing but an awestruck look on his face and shampoo suds in his hair. “Did… did she just—?”

The baby girl’s bright blue eyes lit up at her father’s presence: “Dada!”

“Miss Maddie you said dada!” Jay ran across the room and scooped his daughter up into his arms. He held her above his head before bringing her face to his and peppering her cheeks with kisses as she giggled at him.

“Jay! You’re getting her all wet!” Erin tried to scold her husband, but the look of pure elation on his face stopped her in her tracks. Jay had tears in his eyes and wore the biggest smile she’d ever seen. “She’s certainly her daddy’s girl.”

“You’re my girl too,” Jay held Maddie against his chest and grabbed hold of his wife, pulling her into his arms as he leaned in to kiss her. “I love you so much babe.”

“And I love you,” Erin smiled. “Even though you’ve made the world’s biggest mess of our floors!”

“I’m sorry but I just had to hear that!”

“I know, I know,” she laughed, taking the baby from Jay’s arms and reaching up to run her hand through his soapy hair. “I’ll clean this up, you go rinse off.”

With one last kiss for each of his girls, Jay darted back into the shower. He quickly finished washing his hair and he couldn’t help but smile again as his daughter’s first word still echoed in his head. It was a feeling of joy like nothing he had experience before; there were still tears in his eyes and his heart skipped a beat when he heard Maddie’s giggles again.

Jay had always heard people say that hearing your child’s first word was the best feeling in the world, but he never appreciated that until he experienced it himself. It truly was a feeling like no other— _damn_ ,  _mama_ , and now  _dada_  had become his new favourite words.


	5. Chapter 5

Erin’s cell phone buzzed on her desk and she quickly grabbed for it, not wanting to distract her colleagues. But the noise still caught Jay’s attention. As she checked the message, he watched as her face fell, then shot her a questioning look. She nodded her head in the direction of the break room; they’d never needed words to communicate, even less so since they got married. Erin and Jay could read each other like a book.

Jay followed his wife into the break room, quickly closing the door behind them and glancing back through the window at the rest of the team. “What’s wrong?”

Erin leaned against the counter and sighed before answering. “The sitter cancelled for tonight. She has the flu.” They had had a date night planned for weeks. It was just dinner and a movie, but with three kids running around—not to mention their heavy caseload—it was often difficult to find time to spend just the two of them.

“What? Are you serious?” Words weren’t necessary, the pained look on her face was answer enough. Jay covered his face with his hands, running them up and through his hair in frustration. “No no no, this can’t be happening. We  _need_  this babe.”

“I know, I know, I’ve been looking forward to this all week.”

Jay moved closer to Erin, his arms grasping hold of the counter on either side of her, essentially trapping her there. He leaned in close, pressing his lips against her neck, kissing the sensitive spot below her ear. “I swear, having three kids is the world’s best birth control.”

Erin shivered at the feel of his hot breath as he whispered against her neck. “I know, it’s been forever. But the kids…”

“Can’t we find someone else to watch them?” Jay continued to pepper kisses along her neck.

Erin pulled back quickly, stepping out of his embrace. “I can’t… ugh I can’t think when you’re doing that.” Jay shot her a smug smile. “ _Someone_  must be able to do it. We just need to ask around.”

“Honestly, I’ll beg at this point,” Jay admitted with a grin.

While Erin started calling everyone they knew, Jay headed back into the bullpen, scanning the room for possible babysitters. Antonio was out of town visiting Eva in Portland, and he knew Voight and Olinsky had commitments at the club on Friday nights.

“Hey Ruzek!” Adam’s head snapped up when he heard Jay calling his name. “We need you and Kim to watch the kids tonight.”

“You want us to watch  _five_ kids?! Three of whom are Halsteads?! Sorry man, the last time we watched your little devils Kim wouldn’t have sex with me for a month!”

“Please man? Erin and I need this date night like you can’t even imagine.” Jay pleaded.

“You need to get laid that bad, huh?” Jay just shot Adam a look. “Seriously we couldn’t even if we wanted to, I’m coaching Em’s hockey game and Kim has to take Lucy to ballet.”

“Kev? How about you?” Jay asked desperately, glancing over at Atwater.

“Sorry Halstead, I would if I could, but I’m hoping to get laid tonight too.”

Jay ran his hand down the back of his neck, as he made his way back into the break room in a huff. He hoped that Erin had had better luck than he did—the look on her face told him she hadn’t.

“I tried Will and Natalie, Gabby, Platt, Herrmann, anyone and everyone I could think of. I’m so sorry babe, but I think we’re going to have to reschedule this.”

“No!” Jay practically shouted, desperation was evident in his voice. “There has to be someone else. I need this Erin.”

She ran her hands through her hair as she racked her brain one more time. “I know!” She exclaimed suddenly, pulling her phone from her back pocket and quickly typing out a text.

“Wait, who is it? Who are you asking?”

“Just a second.” The ping of her phone alerted them to the quick text back. “Perfect. Kelly can do it.”

“Wait Kelly?! As in Kelly Severide?!” Jay’s eyes grew wide as he exclaimed in surprise.

“That’s the only Kelly I know.”

“Your  _ex-boyfriend_  Kelly Severide?!”

“Jay, that was a lifetime ago.”

“It’s still kind of weird,” Jay countered, before huffing in exasperation. “Fine, fine. You’re just lucky I need sex so damn badly. I hope this is worth it.”

“I mean we could still reschedule—” Erin didn’t get to finish her sentence as Jay approached her and brought his arms around her, pulling her close. His lips found her neck again as he pressed himself against her. Erin’s breath hitched in her throat; his closeness and the thoughts of what they would do later was enough to distract her. “Tonight it is.”

* * *

The doorbell rang just before six o’clock. One person Jay thought he would never see on his doorstep—let alone to babysit his kids—was Kelly Severide. They quickly shook hands in greeting before Jay led him through to the open kitchen and dining room.

Erin had just finished serving up the kids’ plates so Kelly would only have to go through the hassle of feeding them. She smiled when she saw him enter the room and walked over to give him a hug. “Kelly, thank you so much for doing this. Jay and I really appreciate it.”

“No worries Erin, it’s no trouble at all.”

“So you remember Ben, Zach and Maddie, right?” Erin waved toward the table where the kids had just started eating their dinner.

“Kelly!” Ben exclaimed when he noticed his presence in the room. He slipped out of his seat and ran to give him a hug. While Maddie quickly followed suit (she was at the age that she wanted to do everything just like her big brother), Zach stayed behind in his chair. The seven-year-old was shy and hesitant to approach his parent’s friend.

“Hey Zach, remember—Kelly’s a firefighter! Isn’t that cool buddy?” Jay tried his best to pique the little boy’s interest; he wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving if he knew Zach would be nervous the whole time. They all watched as the shy little boy slowly nodded his head before approaching the group. He didn’t hug Kelly like Ben and Maddie did, instead pressing his back up against Jay’s leg, quietly observing.

Jay and Erin waited around for a few more minutes until it seemed like Zach’s nerves had dissipated a bit. Once they saw the kids settle back down at the table with Kelly, they kissed them all goodnight and threw on their coats.

“Call if you need us,” Jay said, clapping his hand against Kelly’s shoulder. “And remember, bedtime is nine o’clock!”

“And no junk food or you’ll never get them to sleep!” Erin shouted as they made their way out the door.

* * *

“Can we have candy after dinner?” Four-year-old Maddie asked from her seat at the table, mere moments after Jay and Erin had left the house.

“And maybe watch a movie?” Zach added quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

“You heard your mom, she just said no junk food.” Kelly reminded gently.

“Yeah but if you give us candy, we’ll be extra good.” Ben added mischievously—the eight-year-old was  _definitely_  Erin Lindsay’s son. “If not, we’ll be extra bad.”

Kelly sighed as he weighed his options. He could give them sweets and have three perfectly happy and well-behaved kids, or deal with three little devils rebelling every step of the way. “Okay fine. First finish your dinner. Once you’re all ready for bed we can have some candy and watch a movie. But we’ll keep this our little secret, deal?”

“DEAL!” All three kids shouted in unison.

The three Halstead children quickly finished their meal. While Kelly cleaned up in the kitchen, the kids got themselves washed up and in their pajamas. “Okay everyone ready?” Kelly looked over to the three kids settled on the couch, ready for a movie. So far everything had gone smoothly. The kids didn’t protest brushing their teeth or doing anything else he asked of them so he got the TV ready for a movie. “Which movie would you like to watch? Shrek? Or maybe Aladdin?” He pulled the Netflix home page up on the screen.

Ben snatched the remote from Kelly’s hand and started scrolling through the options. “This one!” He pressed play before Kelly could even see what the little boy had selected. As the intro to the movie played, the music was instantly recognized by Kelly, followed by the images inside of a boy’s bedroom.

“Are you sure this is age appropriate?” Kelly asked. He had seen the movie a couple of times and knowing the number of jump scares, he was sure the kids would never fall asleep.

“A kid at school told me about it. He said he watched it with his Dad. There’s Insidious, Insidious Chapter 2 and 3, and then Insidious: The Last Key!” Ben explained as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

“Insisdus?” Maddie asked, not being able to pronounce the word.

“Insidious, Mads.” Ben corrected her. Zach sat in between his siblings, watching the screen. The ominous music and sight of a ghostly looking woman had already scared him, and he jumped when the title popped onto the screen and the music grew louder. He looked at his big brother and saw how excited he was; Zach wanted to be just like him, so he would try to be brave and face the movie as well.

As the movie began playing, his heart started beating erratically. Zach wished more than ever that his daddy was there to hold him through the scary parts. He looked over toward Kelly who was slouched on the couch next to Maddie. She was resting her head against him, her eyelids drooping. It was  _way_ past her bedtime; the little girl would be fast asleep any second. He got up off the couch and walked over to Kelly before pulling himself into Kelly’s lap. He felt safer when he had the firefighter’s arms around him and got comfortable to watch the movie.

* * *

Meanwhile, Jay and Erin had enjoyed a leisurely dinner at Au Cheval. It was one of their favourite spots—they had the best burgers in the city. They sipped their drinks and talked about recent cases and the kids’ upcoming events before heading to the movie theatre. Jay glanced at his watch and smiled knowing that his kids would all be sleeping peacefully by now.

After they bought their tickets and settled in their seats at the back, Jay and Erin played along with the on-screen trivia quizzes. It wasn’t long before the theatre had filled up and the movie started playing. But neither Jay nor Erin could focus on the screen; they only had eyes for each other. Their hands were roaming and eventually it just became too much.

Jay grabbed Erin’s hand, yanked her up from her seat, and pulled her along behind him to the parking lot. He couldn’t even wait to get her into the car; Jay pressed her between himself and the passenger door. As he ravaged her neck, his hands ran down along her curve and he tried to sneak them under her dress.

“Jay, we’re in public!” Erin hissed in his ear.

“It’s been too long Er,”Jay groaned against her neck as he quickly glanced around the parking lot. “Come on, no one can see.”

Whatever resolve Erin had left vanished when Jay managed to push himself even closer against her. She pushed him off of her and opened the back door with a wink, letting Jay help her up into the backseat.

They were lucky the parking lot was dark.

It was closing in on midnight when Jay and Erin finally crossed the threshold of their house, faces flushed and clothes disheveled. They were surprised at the sight before them—their children were in tears as credits rolled on the TV screen. Maddie was the first to notice them, quickly removing herself from Kelly’s arms and running towards her dad, arms reaching up for him. Jay crouched down to her height instead and let her little body crash against him.

“What happened?” Erin asked as she looked at each of her distressed children.

“We were just watching a movie and—”

“A movie? Kelly it’s almost midnight.” Erin said defeated as she went to check on her boys who were still sitting on the couch.

“What movie were you even watching?” Jay asked as he picked Maddie up and rubbed her back soothingly. Her cries had quieted a little bit but she still sniffled against his shoulder.

“Ummm… Insidious…” Kelly supplied, running his hand along his neck, suddenly nervous.

“Kelly, you’ve got to be kidding me. It’s a PG-13 movie!” Erin exclaimed from her perch on the couch where she sat rocking a terrified Zach in her lap.

“Ben said a kid from his class watched it so I thought it would be fine.” Ben had made his way over to where Jay stood holding Maddie and wrapped his arms around his father’s legs. The little boy was shaking and Jay tried his best to comfort both children simultaneously.

“M-Maybe we can h-have more candy and-and f-feel better?” Zach hiccuped from Erin’s lap.

“More candy? I don’t think so sweetheart, it’s time for you to get to bed.” Erin replied looking down and wiping the tears from her son’s face.

“Daddy can we sleep with you tonight?” Maddie asked hopefully.

Jay sighed and shot Erin a look of defeat before pressing a kiss against the top of his daughter’s head. “Yes, of course you can baby.”

“Okay guys, go with Daddy, I’ll be there in a minute, okay?” Erin gave Zach a kiss before handing him off to her husband. Jay was quite the sight as he walked toward the staircase carrying Ben on his back and holding Zach and Maddie in each of his arms.

“You guys are getting heavy.” Jay chuckled as he made his way up the stairs.

Kelly spoke again after Jay had left with the kids. “Look Erin, I’m really sorry. But your kids are so damn persuasive!”

Erin had to chuckle at that. “Yeah, they’re certainly their father’s children.” She couldn’t hide the redness that flooded her cheeks as she remembered just how Jay had  _persuaded_ her earlier. “Well it was great seeing you Kelly, thanks again for helping us out here, you have no idea how much we appreciate this.” She walked Kelly to the door and gave him a quick hug before locking up and turning off all of the lights around the house.

When she had finally made her way upstairs to the bedroom, Erin was met by the sight of all three kids cuddled with Jay as he read them a story. He hoped it would distract them from the scary images they saw earlier and help them to fall asleep. Erin smiled, quickly changed into her pajamas and made her way into bed, settling under the covers with her family.

After Jay had finished reading, the kids insisted that Jay’s bedside light stay on to scare away any monsters as the whole family settled down in the king-size bed. The kids were spread out in between their parents: Zach’s head was resting on Jay’s shoulder; Ben was laying flush against Erin, and Maddie was stretched horizontally across the bed, touching both of her parents. It wasn’t long before all three were sound asleep.

Jay and Erin locked eyes over their kids’ heads, smiling as Erin’s gaze directed Jay toward the bathroom. Quickly and quietly, they got out of bed and surrounded the kids with pillows before sneaking into the bathroom, closing the door behind them.

“You sure they’re gonna be okay?” Jay said as he stripped down.

“Yeah, they won’t even notice that we’re gone.” Erin said. She peppered Jay’s lips with kisses as she reached to turn on the water and pull him into the shower behind her. Steam soon covered the mirror and the shower door.

Back in the bedroom, Zach woke suddenly, opening his eyes and quickly noticing his parents’ absence. He sat up and looked over at his brother and sister who were still fast asleep. When he heard a noise, Zach got out of bed and made his way over to the bathroom door, turning the handle and pushing it open. “Daddy?” He looked around the bathroom but didn’t see anything. The steam was thick but he could make out Jay’s silhouette in the shower. “Daddy!” He called out louder.

Jay cursed from inside the shower. At the sound of his father’s voice, Zach smiled and released a breath of relief.

“Yeah bud?” Jay popped his head out of the shower, grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist. Water trickled down his toned body as he made his way over to his little boy. “What’s wrong little man?”

“I woke up and you and Mommy were gone.” Concern was evident in the little boy’s voice.

“I’m sorry bud, I… uh… I just needed to take a shower.”

“Where’s Mommy?”

Erin stood in the shower attempting to relax—the image of Jay’s wet body wasn’t helping her  _at all_. She subconsciously licked her lips thinking about him. As she peeked through the steamy glass, she watched as he went into ‘Daddy mode.’ That didn’t exactly help either.

“Mommy’s just uh… washing her hair, buddy. She’ll be out in a minute,” Jay answered slowly, running his hand along his hairline, willing all thoughts of his naked wife from his mind.

“Why were you in there together?”

“I was um… I was helping Mommy with, um… something.”

“With what?”

“Hey uh, how about we go back to bed, it’s late.” Jay let Zach grab his hand and pull him back out toward the bed. As Jay followed, he turned and shot a desperate look back at Erin as she too stepped out of the shower. Jay settled Zach back into bed before he grabbed a pair of boxers. As he was drying off the remaining drops of water, Erin walked into the bedroom, a smile on her face.

They both moved to their respective sides of the bed, making sure that there was at least one light on—Zach had already fallen back to sleep. Jay grabbed his water bottle from his bedside table, taking a sip—he needed to rehydrate—as he heard his wife’s voice: “Hey babe, remember what you were saying earlier? About kids being the greatest cockblocks?” Erin mumbled sarcastically.

“Mom, what’s a cockblock?” Ben asked sleepily opening his eyes a little as he rolled over.

Jay choked on his water as Erin bit her lip in an attempt to hide her laughter.

“Go back to sleep Ben.”


	6. Chapter 6

Jay and Erin had a rare day off in the middle of the week. Intelligence had just closed down a drug ring running from Cicero that was shipping all over the United States and Canada. It was a school day, so they still had to get up early to drop off the boys, but they weren’t as rushed that morning; they had decided to let Maddie stay home from daycare after her incessant begging. It was next to impossible to say no to her, especially when all she wanted was to hang out with her mommy and daddy.

Erin stayed home with Maddie while Jay trudged through the snow to take Ben and Zach to school. Despite their brutal winters, snow days were rare in Chicago. Jay was happy when he parked the car in the garage and got back into the warm house, knowing he wouldn’t have to venture back out in the cold again until later that afternoon.

As Jay walked through the garage door, he slipped off his jacket and kicked the snow off his boots before putting everything away in the closet. He was met by the smell of coffee wafting through the house and could hear cartoons playing from the living room. Jay smiled as he made his way towards the kitchen where he found Erin finishing up the dishes from breakfast.

Jay barely had time to kiss his wife hello before he heard Maddie call for him, her voice full of excitement. “Daddyyyyyyy!” She came out of nowhere and leapt into her father’s arms.

“Maddieeeeeeeee!” Jay mimicked the little girl’s enthusiasm, tickling her sides before putting her down. “What’s up baby?”

“Can you play princesses with me? Pleeeeeeease?” Before Jay even had a chance to answer, he found himself being dragged into the living room by his four-year-old daughter. In a matter of seconds, Maddie had him sitting cross-legged on the floor and had already put a sparkly crown on his head. “Now Daddy, I’m the main princess, but you can be my backup princess. Just like when you’re at work with Mommy.”

“Now what makes you think that Mommy’s not  _my_  backup at work?”

“Daddy you’re so silly! Mommy drives and that means she’s the boss!” Maddie giggled as she started piling necklaces around Jay’s neck, pausing only to adjust his tiara.

Jay’s mouth dropped open and he shook his head with a laugh. Maddie had clearly been spending too much time with Erin—he knew he’d get his payback later and would soon transition his little girl to his side.

“Okay Daddy, now we have to do our nails.”

“Are you sure, Mads? I think we both look very pretty already,” Jay gestured down at the heap of plastic jewellery he was wearing.

“Yes, of course Daddy.” Maddie replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Jay sighed but grabbed the bottle of nail polish off of the coffee table. “You first sweetie, okay?” Maddie grinned from ear to ear as her father held her little hand in his own and started to carefully paint her fingernails with the glittery pink polish. The first time Jay had painted his daughter’s nails was a total disaster, but he’d done it enough by now to be pretty good at it.

“Daddy. I hafta ask you something.”

“You can ask me anything baby,” Jay glanced up from his task and immediately grew concerned when he saw how serious Maddie looked. “What is it?”

“Where do babies come from?” Well he certainly wasn’t expecting  _that_. “Because Uncle Will and Aunt Natalie are having a baby and when I asked Uncle Will he told me to ask  _you_.”

Jay was going to kill his brother. Will could have given the little girl a simple explanation and Maddie would have been satisfied with his answer, but of course Will just  _had_ to make things more difficult for Jay. He coughed a little, clearing his throat before answering. “Well, um. You see babies… babies come from the mommy’s belly.”

“Yeah I know  _that_ , but how do they get in there?”

“Well, the daddy puts the baby there.” When Jay looked up from his little girl’s pink nails, she had a look of confusion on her face.

“How?”

Erin overheard the conversation from the kitchen and chose that moment to come join her husband and daughter in the living room. When Jay noticed her presence he shot her a look of desperation, silently pleading with her to help him with the interrogation he was getting from their daughter. Erin just bit her bottom lip to stop herself from laughing; she wanted to see where this was going.

“Well, the mommies and the daddies each have… um, baby making stuff in them.”

“You do? What kind of baby making stuff?”

Jay huffed out an exasperated sigh. “Well Daddy has sperm and Mommy has eggs. And when the sperm and egg meet, they make a baby.”

“Ooohhh,” Maddie said understandingly. “But wait—how does Mommy get the sperms?”

“Well, uh, first I have to make Mommy really, um… happy.”

“Like how I’m happy when I get to go play at Lucy’s house?”

Jay’s eyes grew wide as he shook his head. “No! No, no, no. Not that kind of happy.” He cleared his throat, subconsciously tugging at the collar of his t-shirt. “A… um… a  _different_  kind of happy. A special… uh,  _grown-up_ happy.”

“Oh. And then what?”

“Well then, um—” Jay ran his hand through his hair, his face bright red as he tried to work up the nerve to explain sex to his four-year-old daughter. “Then Daddy puts his… um, penis into Mommy’s… vagina and—”

“Mommy!” Maddie gasped, glancing over to where Erin was seated on the couch. The little girl looked absolutely horrified. “How could you let Daddy do that to you!?”

Erin’s cheeks flushed at her daughter’s question. “Um, sweetie I think that’s probably enough for today. How about you do Daddy’s nails and then we’ll have some lunch?”

“Okay!” Maddie smiled, satisfied with her father’s explanation. She had already moved on from the subject, grabbing hold of Jay’s hand and slathering pink polish on his nails to match her own.

* * *

After lunch, Jay, Erin and Maddie bundled up to venture out into the snow. While Jay shovelled the driveway and sidewalk, Erin helped Maddie make a snowman. It wasn’t long before Jay felt something hit him square in the back; he turned around to see a devilish look on his wife’s face as she was already busy balling up more snow between her mitten-clad hands.

But Jay was faster. When he threw his own snowball across the yard, it hit Erin’s wrist and knocked the snow right out of her hand. She laughed and quickly encouraged Maddie to help with her attack against Jay. He had a better arm though, so the girls quickly resorted to tackling him into the snowbank.

Eventually Jay snuck away to pick up the boys from school. As he pulled their Jeep into the driveway, he noticed Erin and Maddie were still outside. They were distracted making snow angels, so Jay quickly turned around in his seat to rally his troops. “Okay boys, here’s the plan,” Jay began. He spoke like he was directing detectives on a raid, not planning a snowball fight with his sons. “So we’re going to get out on my side so we can use the car as a shield. That also gives us time to prepare our snowballs. Then when we’re all ready, we attack, okay?”

“But wait Dad, what about our uniforms?” Zach asked, his face filled with worry.

“That’s not important right now, what’s important is that we  _win_.” Both boys nodded in agreement, and when Jay extended his fist they quickly bumped their own fists against it.

* * *

The excitement of playing in the snow took a toll on the Halstead children—there were no arguments or stall tactics at bedtime that night. Once the kids were all sleeping soundly, Jay stretched out in bed, surfing channels while Erin took a shower. He too was absolutely exhausted; running around with Maddie all day came at a price, but Jay wouldn’t change it for the world.

Erin walked into the bedroom a moment later wearing only a short satin robe, her hair twisted into a towel on top of her head.

Jay noticed her presence immediately. “Hey you,” he smirked, the television forgotten as the remote control fell from his hand—his wife had his undivided attention **.**

Erin’s face broke into a wide grin as she hopped up to join him on the bed, her legs straddled around his waist. “Hey yourself,” she murmured, leaning down to press her lips against Jay’s. She quickly pulled him closer to her as she deepened the kiss.

Jay pulled back after a moment, a sly smile gracing his face. “Not that I’m complaining  _at all_ , but what’s gotten into you babe?”

“Oh… nothing. I didn’t think I need a reason to kiss my  _very_  attractive husband?” She bent down and peppered kisses along his jawline. “I’ve been wanting to do this all day. Watching you with the kids? Ugh, you are so fucking sexy.”

“Yeah? Well I know other things you find even sexier.” His voice dropped lower.

“You know, I think this is the part where you’re supposed to make me  _grown-up_ happy.” Erin whispered in his ear, her voice even raspier than usual, sending a shiver through his body. Jay sat up, moving Erin with him as he changed their position, flipping them so she was now pinned beneath him. He leaned back to pull off his shirt before grabbing her chin to bring her even closer, quickly moving to cover her neck with open mouth kisses. As his hands dipped into her robe, Jay was confused to feel her touch his abs and push him away. She was breathless as she spoke: “Wait…”

“What? What’s wrong?” Jay groaned, biting his lip to try to contain his disappointment.

“You need to keep your…  _baby making stuff_  out of me. We are done with all that Mr. Halstead.”

Jay rolled his eyes before getting off the bed, reaching toward his bedside table to grab a condom from the top drawer. He handed it to Erin as he made his way to the bedroom door to make sure it was locked, kicking off his sweatpants as he practically ran back to the bed. She giggled as he climbed back on top of her, barely having enough time to slide the condom on him before Jay was yanking the robe from her shoulders, pawing at her all over again.

* * *

Jay and Erin were completely exhausted as they made their way into the district the next day. They were always sluggish after taking a day off, especially when the entire day was spent entertaining their daughter, and their late-night fun didn’t exactly leave them feeling well-rested. Fortunately, it was still pretty quiet upstairs; Intelligence was finishing up paperwork from their drug bust earlier that week.

It wasn’t long before they got a call from patrol; they’d located a suspect that the unit had been chasing, and they needed someone to come pick him up. Ruzek and Atwater were first up, jumping at the chance to get away from their desks and out of the bullpen. Less than an hour later, they’d hauled the perp down to the district and thrown him in the cage.

Voight called Jay downstairs to help with the interrogation. Angelo Shaw had been running girls up and down the east coast for years. Every time Intelligence was close to bringing him in, Shaw would disappear.

Jay wrapped his fingers around the cage, fuming at Shaw, anger burning in his eyes. It pissed him off even more when the suspect began to laugh at him. The man had a reputation for kidnapping and torture— all Jay could think about was his four-year-old at a time like this.

“Dude, you aren’t as intimidating as you think.” Shaw laughed, his voice menacing.

“Keys.” Jay ordered with his hand held out to Voight. He opened the cage angrily before handing the keys back. “You really think it’s funny? Hurting those girls?” He stood in front of Shaw before grabbing him by the neck.

“Halstead.” Voight’s gruff voice warned him. “HALSTEAD!” He called out later when Jay didn’t step back. “Upstairs.” Voight ordered, his voice steady, almost eerily calm.

Jay hesitantly moved out of the cage, dropping Shaw back down on the bench. He shot an exasperated look at Voight before reluctantly making his way over to the door where Ruzek and Atwater were trying—unsuccessfully—to hide their laughter.

“You know Halstead, pink’s really your colour.” Atwater chuckled, nudging Jay’s shoulder with his own.

Jay narrowed his eyes at the two men before looking down at his hands. His nails were still covered in the glittery pink polish Maddie had put on the day before. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You have daughters, Adam. You know what it’s like.”

“Yeah, I do. But unlike you I don’t go out in public like that!”

“Well, Erin didn’t seem to mind it last night.” Jay admitted with a sly grin.

As they made their way back up the stairs to the bullpen, Atwater changed the subject, asking if they were excited for the Hawks game that night. But Jay was distracted—all he could think about was how Maddie  _definitely_ had him wrapped around her little finger. He would do anything for his little girl, even if it meant making a fool of himself at work.


	7. Chapter 7

It was spring break, so Jay and Erin had each used some vacation days to cover off being home with the kids. Things had been pretty quiet in Intelligence, but they still didn’t want to leave the team short  _two_ detectives for too long. So they each stayed home for half of the week. But they were both off on Wednesday—Erin had errands to run so Jay needed to stay home with the kids. They had made the mistake of hauling all three children to the grocery store before; it was not an experience either of them wanted to repeat. Ever. 

Jay was sure to plan some fun activities to keep the kids entertained—they each got to choose one activity. Madeline wanted to see the zebras, so Monday morning was spent at the Lincoln Park Zoo. Zachary had asked to visit the Museum of Science and Industry, so they headed there after lunch. Tuesday started with a trip to the Adler Planetarium— _Jay’s_  personal favourite—and ended with a rousing game of laser tag at Ben’s request.

Unfortunately it was pouring rain when Jay’s alarm went off early Wednesday morning, forcing him to postpone their visit to Navy Pier. He knew the kids would be disappointed in the change of plans, so he decided to make something special for breakfast. As he silenced his alarm, Jay smiled at the sight of Erin sprawled out beside him. She was completely exhausted when she got home the night before, so Jay decided to let her sleep for a while longer. He leaned over and placed the softest kiss on her temple before he got out of bed, threw on some sweatpants, and headed downstairs to the kitchen.

Jay had just started mixing the batter when he heard them—to a stranger it would probably sounds like a herd of elephants was trampling down the stairs. He looked up with a smile when he saw all three of his children burst into the kitchen, still dressed in their pajamas.

“Daddy!” Maddie exclaimed as she ran toward him, flinging herself into his waiting arms.

“Good morning Miss Maddie,” Jay gave her a raspberry kiss on her cheek, eliciting a wild giggle from his little girl. After he set her down at the table, Jay kissed each of the boys’ foreheads before turning back to the counter.

“What’s for breakfast?” Ben asked.

Jay shook his head in amusement; their firstborn was just like Erin, always hungry. “I don’t know, what are you making for me?” He chuckled at Ben’s look of horror. “I’m kidding, Ben. I’m making chocolate chip pancakes!”

“My favourite!” Seven-year-old Zach cheered, his mouth stretched into that famous Halstead grin.

“Mine too buddy,” Jay winked, grinning right back at him. “Who wants to help stir?” Before he had even asked, he knew the answer. Sure enough, no sooner had the words left his mouth, Maddie had dragged her chair over to the counter by her father.

While Jay and Maddie made the pancakes, the boys ate from a bowl of fruit salad that he had put out. Jay would let the kids have special treats here and there, but he tried to sneak in some healthier options whenever possible. Just as he finished serving a stack of pancakes to each of the children, Jay noticed his wife in his peripheral vision.

“Good morning everyone.” Erin said as he headed over towards the pot of freshly brewed coffee as Jay made his way over to the skillet. He turned the heat down before approaching Erin, wrapping an arm around her waist so he could pull her close to kiss her.

“Ewww.” The kids snickered and giggled behind them. Both Jay and Erin had smiles plastered on their faces as they turned to look at their children.

“What’s wrong?” Erin questioned, her tone innocent as she approached the table to kiss each of her kids.

Ben’s nose scrunched up in disgust. The eight-year-old pulled away from his mother as he answered seriously: “Dad kissed you, but girls have cooties.”

“What are cooties?” Maddie was four, which meant she was at that age where she was curious about absolutely  _everything_.

“Girl germs.” Ben explained as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“What about boys? Do boys have germs?”

“Yes.” Jay quickly interrupted their conversation. “That’s why you have to stay away from them.”

“But what about you, Daddy? And Zach and Ben?”

“We’re okay, it’s  _other_ boys you need to worry about.” Jay replied quickly.

“Oh, okay. I will Daddy! I don’t want to catch the cooties!” Jay grinned as Maddie nodded in understanding. Erin just shook her head as she sat down in between Ben and Zach at the table, laughing softly at her husband’s attempts to baby their little girl.

“So guys, it looks like we’re going to have to stick around the house today,” Jay began as they all started eating their pancakes. “It’s too rainy outside for a trip down to the pier. Maybe Mommy can take you another day, or we might be able to go on the weekend.”

“Aw, man!” Ben complained, his mouth full of food. Zach and Maddie were quiet, but they too looked disappointed at their father’s announcement.

“But I think we can find something fun to do around here, okay?” Jay offered, hoping he could still keep his children in good spirits, despite the unfortunate weather.

* * *

By the time Erin had showered and headed out to run her errands, Jay and the kids had cleaned up from breakfast, so they decided to play some board games. Maddie got bored eventually, so Jay decided it was time for another activity. He considered their options for a minute before instructing the Ben and Zach to go grab all of the pillows and blankets they could find and bring them down to the living room. While the boys were on their mission, Jay and Maddie pulled all of the cushions off of the sectional.

“What are we doing Dad?” Zach asked when he and Ben returned, their arms laden with the supplies their father had requested.

“We’re going to build the best fort ever!” Jay explained, his voice filled with excitement. All three children responded with cheers—Erin would  _never_ let them make such a mess. They dragged chairs in from the dining room and spent the next few hours constructing the most elaborate pillow fort of all time. It spanned the entire living room and by the time they had finished, they were exhausted.

When Erin returned home later that afternoon, she was surprised by how quiet it was; the Halstead house was a lot of things, but quiet wasn’t usually one of them. “Jay? Kids? Hello?” Erin called out as she moved further into the house. “Are you guys here?” Still no answer. As she walked into the living room, she bit back a laugh at the massive pillow fort in front of her.  _Of course_  Jay would think up something like this. She got down on her hands and knees and crawled inside.

Tears sprang into Erin’s eyes at the sight of Jay and their kids all fast asleep inside the fort. Maddie was lying directly on top of Jay’s chest, while Ben and Zach were snuggled up on either side of their father. Somehow in a fort filled with every pillow the family owned, the kids had ended up using  _Jay_ as their pillow—Erin didn’t blame them, she had always considered Jay her favourite pillow too.

“Mommy?” Zach asked, stirring from his sleep as Erin moved further into the fort.

She curled up beside him and kissed the top of his head. “Hi baby, go back to sleep.” The little boy had moved enough so that Erin could snuggle up to Jay, with Zach now stretched on top of her. She ran her hand up and down his back until he fell asleep again.

Jay opened his eyes not long after, smiling at the presence of his wife in his arms. The smile disappeared from his face when he noticed that she was crying. “Er? Babe what’s wrong?” Erin’s cries grew louder at his words. Instead of answering, she buried her face into his shirt. “Hey, talk to me.” Jay lifted his arm and wrapped it around her, his hand stroking her shoulder in an attempt to soothe her.

Finally Erin responded: “I’m  _pregnant_!”

The announcement had her sobbing again, her tears quickly soaking Jay’s t-shirt. He kissed the top of her head as his hand moved from her shoulder, instead running his fingers through her hair. “Er, this is a good thing, why are you crying?”

“We were supposed to be  _done_!” She wailed, pulling back to look at Jay’s face. “How did this even happen?!”

Jay couldn’t help but chuckle. “Well babe, when a man and a woman—”

“Don’t you dare!” Erin scolded, smacking his shoulder; but she couldn’t quite stop the smile from tugging at her lips at Jay’s goofy response. “Seriously though, we’ve been so careful. When?”

“Well, there was that night in the Jeep last month. And a few times in the shower. And there was that morning when the kids were at Voight’s.” Jay wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as he thought back on that day, causing Erin to smile wider. “Honestly, I doubt we can even pinpoint it—now that I think about it, we haven’t been quite as careful as we thought.” Jay paused for a moment before moving his hand moved to rest over Erin’s still toned abdomen. “I have to say, babe, I’m really looking forward to seeing you pregnant again.”

“Ugh, you know what I’m  _not_ looking forward to? Giving birth again!” Erin reached her free hand to run down Maddie’s back. “This little lady practically destroyed me—oh and by the way, we aren’t going back to Wisconsin until after this one is born. I’m not taking  _any_  chances of a repeat of Maddie! We are staying nice and close to a damn hospital.”

“Okay, okay, whatever you say babe.” Jay laughed as his lips found Erin’s in a gentle kiss.

Erin pulled back abruptly. “You’re getting a vasectomy.”

All of the colour drained from Jay’s face at her words. “W-what?”

“I’m serious Halstead, this will be our  _last_ baby. If I have to push another of your children out of me, the least you can do is get a damn vasectomy!”

“But… a  _vasectomy_? It’s going to hurt!”

Erin’s brows shot up, an incredulous look coming across her face. “I repeat: I have had  _three_ of your children—the last one in the middle of nowhere without pain meds. And apparently I’ll be birthing a  _fourth_ in a matter of months. These Halstead babies aren’t exactly tiny, Jay. So let’s not talk about hurt and pain here, okay?”

“But… they’re going to touch me!”

“You don’t seem to mind when I touch you.” Erin shot back with a smirk. “That’s part of the reason this is even happening again.”

“But… they’re going to cut into me. What if… I don’t know, what if the doctor’s hand shakes or slips or something?”

“Honestly Jay they’re professionals! Either they do it, or I will.”

“Whoa.” Jay’s eyes grew wide and he held up his hands almost defensively. “Let’s not get crazy here, I’ll do it. But seriously, look at them.” Jay motioned down at their three sleeping children. “You have to admit that you’re at least a  _little_  excited to have another one. We definitely make adorable babies.”

“Babe, I’m not actually sad! Just a little surprised—okay a  _lot_ surprised. But I honestly can’t wait for this little one to come along so our family will be complete.” Erin whispered as she ran her hand along Jay’s chest to reassure him.

“We’ll be fine, it’ll be fun.” Jay brought his lips down to meet Erin’s in a quick but loving kiss as they felt the kids beginning to wake around them.


	8. Chapter 8

Jay and Erin had developed a perfect system so that one of them would be always be around when their kids were out of school—they were adamant about being hands-on parents. Ever the early riser, Jay would go into the district early, while Erin got the kids up and ready for school and daycare. In turn, Jay’s shift would typically end his day in time to pick them up. At least that was their system most days; when a case ran long or if they were undercover or on a raid, they relied on recently-retired ‘Grandpa Hank’ to watch their children.

Jay was  _always_  early to pick up the kids; he didn’t want to be the kind of parent whose children were left waiting in front of the school for a ride home. He parked the family SUV next to all the minivans outside the school and made his way toward the front entrance—Jay Halstead  _refused_ to drive a minivan—and waited just outside the doors, excited to see his children and hear how school was.

Ben was almost thirteen, and was in his last year of middle school; Zachary was eleven and Maddie was only eight, both still in elementary school. The school he and Erin chose ran from kindergarten to grade eight so it was still easy to drop off and pick up the three older kids all at once—Erin would typically swing by the daycare to pick their youngest up on her way home from the district.

Generally, the younger students were let out of class fifteen minutes earlier than the older ones, so Jay got a bit of extra time with Maddie. Every day the energetic little girl would burst through the doors with a smile on her face as she ran up to her father and jumped up into his arms. After kissing her cheek, Jay would ask about her day, and then they would wait hand-in-hand for Ben and Zach to follow. Zach was usually the next Halstead out the door, eager to see his father and tell him everything he had learned. Jay and Erin’s second son  _loved_ school, and most days they would find him sitting with his nose buried in a book. Ben, on the other hand, was much more carefree. He was at that age where he lingered in the halls to hang out with his friends—that was what he looked forward to most about going to school.

But that particular afternoon, Jay was surprised to see Ben burst through the doors first. Jay said hello to his oldest son, then asked Ben to take Maddie to wait in the car. Jay leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, glancing at his watch over and over as his concern grew with every minute he waited.

 _Finally_ Zach exited the building, slowly making his way over to Jay with his head hung low. He was wearing his red Blackhawks cap low on his face and carrying his glasses in his right hand. When Jay asked how his day was, Zach just shrugged his shoulders and walked quickly toward the parking lot.

“Zach!” Jay called his son’s name, jogging to catch up with him. When he got close enough, Jay reached out to grab hold of Zach’s arm. “Hey bud, what’s wrong?” He asked, his brows furrowed with concern. He crouched down in front of him so they were face to face and tried to look his son in the eye. When Jay lifted his hand to move Zach’s cap away, he noticed that the skin around his eye was red and swollen. Jay glanced down at Zach’s hand and saw that the boy’s glasses were broken. “Zach, what happened?”

“Nothing. Just got hurt in gym class.” He mumbled as he moved around his father and continued walking toward the car.

Jay sighed, running his hand through his hair as he stood up and followed his son. He had a feeling Zach wasn’t telling him the truth, but didn’t want to push the subject at the moment.

By the time Jay slid into the driver’s seat, both Ben and Maddie were talking animatedly about their days. Zach, on the other hand, was sitting in silence, staring intently out the window—Zach was certainly their quietest child, but this was unusual even for him. The ride home was silent, save for Maddie’s usual chatter. Jay glanced back at Zach in the rearview mirror every few minutes, but the boy kept his gaze focused out the window.

There was definitely something wrong.

* * *

When Erin got home after collecting their youngest from daycare, the three older kids were already sitting at the kitchen table finishing their homework. After handing their toddler off to her husband, Erin walked around the table to give each of them a kiss hello, immediately noticing Zach’s swollen eye. She glanced up at Jay, and before she could say a word about it, he shook his head at her, his eyes clearly telling her not to mention it.

Later that evening while Erin and Jay were cleaning up from dinner and the kids were watching a movie, Erin brought up the topic that had been on both of their minds all evening. “Jay, what happened to Zach’s eye?” She failed to hide the concern in her voice.

Jay sighed. “Well, he said it happened in gym class but…”

“But what? You don’t believe him?”

“No, not really. Just the way he sulked around and avoided eye contact threw me off. Not to mention his glasses were completely shattered.”

“Maybe we should try to talk to him later?” Erin approached Jay and wrapped her arms around his torso before standing on the tips of her toes to plant a kiss on his lips. “Figure out what’s wrong? Who knows, maybe we’re blowing this out of proportion?”

“Yeah.” Jay murmured into her hair. “I hope so.”

* * *

Once their other three children were tucked in, Jay and Erin approached Zach’s bedroom. He was sitting upright, leaning his back against his headboard with a book in his hand. But without his glasses, he was obviously struggling to read the words. Jay rapped his knuckles on the open door to let Zach know they were coming in. “Hey buddy.” Jay’s voice was soft as he and Erin approached, carefully sitting on his bed. “Can we talk for a little bit?”

Zach nodded before closing his book and placing it next to his broken glasses on his bed side table.

“Baby, what happened at school today?” Erin asked, reaching her right hand to his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze and she rubbed her thumb across his skin.

Zach shrugged his shoulders, again avoiding eye contact with his parents. Jay picked up his glasses from the table before spotting some tape on Zach’s desk. He got up to grab it before returning to the bed, temporarily fixing the them as he handed them back to his son.

“Like I told Dad, it was a bad hit in gym class.” Zach cleaned the lenses with his t-shirt before placing them back on his face, wincing as the action put pressure on his swollen eye.

“Are you sure you’re okay? That looks like a pretty nasty bump.” Jay prodded, his voice gentle.

“I’m okay.” The eleven-year-old assured them.

“You know that you can come tell Dad or me anything, right?” Erin reminded him gently.

Jay jumped in to finish Erin’s sentence: “If there’s ever anything bothering you at school or at home, you can tell us. You’ll never get in trouble for telling us the truth.”

“Yeah… I’m okay though, I swear.” Jay and Erin exchanged a look of disappointment at Zach’s words, before turning to face him again.

“Okay then, bed time. You have school in the morning.” Jay said as he carefully removed Zach’s glasses from his face and kissed his forehead. Erin helped tuck him in before giving him her own kiss and turning off the lamp next to the bed.

“We love you baby.” Erin added as she followed Jay from the room.

* * *

When they were settled in their own bed, Jay noticed the concern written all over Erin’s face. “Hey, come here.” He reached out to her, pulling her into his arms.

“I’m really worried about him, Jay.” Erin snuggled into her husband’s embrace, nestling against his bare chest.

“Me too babe, me too.” Jay kissed the top of Erin’s head. “But he’ll talk to us when he’s ready. We can’t force it or he’ll never be comfortable coming to us again.”  

“I know, you’re right.” Erin sighed.

“You should know by now, I’m always right.” Jay chuckled. He could feel the vibrations of Erin’s own laughter against his chest.

“You’re an idiot, but I love you.”

“Love you too babe.” Jay kissed her again and it wasn’t long before they were both sound asleep.

* * *

A few days later, Intelligence was working a high profile case. Jay’s cell phone rang while they were at a crime scene, and his heart dropped when he recognized the number—it was the kids’ school. He quickly excused himself from the group to take the call, his jaw clenched as he listened to the principal request that either he or Erin come to the school immediately.

“Who was that?” Erin when he caught up with the group.

“It was Ms. Danvers, from the kids’ school—Zach got into a fight.” Jay grumbled.

“What?! You’re joking, right?”

“Do I look like I’m joking?” Jay snapped, anger and frustration evident in his voice. “I can’t believe this! Of all the kids I might have expected this call for Ben, but not  _Zach_!” He ran his fingers across his forehead before continuing. “I need to go down there. Can you tell Antonio? I’ll call you as soon as I know what happened.” When Voight retired a few years earlier, Antonio Dawson had been promoted to run Intelligence.

“Yeah… Jay, take it easy okay?” Erin implored, her hand moving to his chest to try to calm him.

“No promises.” Jay replied as he turned away from his wife and walked towards the car, the badge hung around his neck swung back and forth with every step he took.

* * *

Jay took a few deep breaths before walking into the school, trying to relieve some of the frustration coursing through his body. They had spent so much time teaching the kids about the repercussions or consequences that could arise from fighting at school, but evidently, that lesson went through one ear and out the other for one Halstead.

As he made his way toward the office, Jay could see Zach waiting in one of the chairs, holding an icepack against his now black and blue eye. When Zach turned to look at his father, Jay ignored the fearful look that crossed his son’s face; Jay’s gaze landed on the split lip Zach was sporting instead.

“Mr. Halstead?” A woman from behind the desk called when she noticed his presence. Jay turned to the woman, his hands on his hips, badge swinging at the motion.

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“Ms. Danvers will see you and Zach in her office now.”

Jay turned his head to look down at Zach, quickly muttering a ‘let’s go’ and following his son into the office. He noticed another boy around Zach’s age sitting in one of the chairs alongside a large man who Jay assumed was the kid’s father. The other boy’s face was reddening around his nose and there were still tears in his eyes. A quick glance down at Zach’s red fist answered Jay’s question of whether or not Zach had hurt anyone.

As they made their way into the principal’s office, Jay noticed that the other boy and his father got up to follow them.

Ms. Danvers was sitting behind her desk, typing away on her computer. When she noticed the four men enter the room, she waved her hand toward the chairs opposite her desk. “Mr. Halstead, Mr. Duncan, please sit down.” Once they were seated, she continued. “As you were informed over the phone, there was an incident earlier today between Zachary and Brett. A teacher caught them fighting in the hall after lunch.”

Jay turned to face Zach, shooting him a stern look.

“There’s no way  _my_ son was fighting! Look at his nose, he’s clearly the victim here!” The other father, Mr. Duncan, was quick to interject, pointing in Zach’s direction. “Obviously  _this kid_  started it!” Jay noticed in his periphery that Zach seemed to cower at the accusation.

“Mr. Duncan we aren’t sure who instigated the fight. Both boys were involved and that’s grounds for suspension.”

“My boy isn’t getting suspended for what this other kid did!” The father glanced down at Jay’s badge before speaking again. “Clearly the kid learned it from his bitch cop of a father.”

“Mr. Duncan I’m going to have to ask you to watch your language.” Ms. Danvers warned.

“Excuse me?!” Jay couldn’t hold back the anger in his voice as he rose from his chair, arms at his side, his hands clenched tightly into fists. “Say that again and we’ll see who the real bitch is!”

“Mr. Halstead, please calm down.” The principal’s voice shook as she looked between the two men.

“Sorry. Just give me the suspension letter so we can get out of here.” Jay took a seat again and shot his son another dirty look. Zach kept his head down, his eyes focused on his hands in his lap.

* * *

Neither Jay nor Zach spoke the entire way home; Jay was livid and he didn’t want to say something he might regret later.

When they got home, Zach slowly followed his father into the house. Jay scrubbed his palm across his face and sighed before finally addressing his son. “Zach, go to your room.” Jay glanced at his watch and sighed again before pulling his phone from his pocket to call Erin like he’d promised.

“Hey babe, what happened?” Somehow just hearing Erin’s voice on the other end of the line had Jay feeling calmer about the situation.

“So apparently our son punched another kid in the nose.”

“What the hell?! There’s no way Zach would do that!”

“Well he did. And now he’s suspended.”

“Where is he right now?”

“I sent him to his room, we just got home. Ugh, Erin, I’m so disappointed I can’t even look at him right now. ”

Erin sighed at the other end of the line. “Okay, well we’re wrapping up here pretty soon, so I can pick the kids up on my way home.”

“Thanks babe.” He ran his fingers through his hair as he continued. “I guess I should go try to talk to him.”

“Jay, please don’t be too hard on him. I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Okay, I love you.”

“You too.”

When Jay hung up the phone he took a moment to compose himself and gather his thoughts before venturing upstairs to Zach’s room. The door was open slightly so he peeked his head inside; he was met by the sight of his son crying into his pillow and it broke his heart.

“Zach?” He called softly. The little boy continued to sniffle in his pillow, ignoring his father. Jay approached his son and sat down beside him, reaching his arm out to run his hand down Zach’s back. “Buddy, I need you to look at me.” It took a few moments for Zach to calm down enough to turn to face Jay. “What’s wrong?” Jay asked gently, continuing to rub his son’s back.

Zach shook his head before burying his face back into his pillow.

“I need you to talk to me. You aren’t going to get in trouble for telling the truth, okay?” Zach nodded his head but didn’t speak so Jay decided on asking him more questions. “Did you punch that boy at school today?” Zach nodded again. “Why would you do something like that? We’ve talked about this.”

Zach sat up and shrugged his shoulders.

“Come on, buddy, tell me what happened. Please.”

“B-Brett makes fun of me.” Zach sniffed, his voice so soft Jay could barely hear him. “H-he calls me a n-nerd and laughs at m-my glasses. H-he says I’m a l-loser.” With his confession, Zach burst into tears again, this time burying his face in his father’s shoulder.

Jay’s heart broke as he pulled Zach into his lap, wrapping his arms around the little boy. It absolutely gutted him to see Zach hurting so much. “Buddy, you could have come to me about this earlier, I would have helped you, I would have protected you.”

“B-but Brett said I-I couldn’t tell anyone.” Zach said, still sobbing into his father’s chest, his tears soaking Jay’s shirt.

“That’s just something bullies say so they don’t get in trouble. If anyone ever says something like that they’re just trying to scare you.” Jay rocked back and forth with Zach in his lap, hoping to calm his son.

“I’m sorry.” Zach mumbled quietly. “I know I shouldn’t have punched him. But I just wanted him to stop.”

“It’s alright, just don’t do it again okay? Come to me and Mom the next time you need help with something.” Jay ran his fingers through his son’s hair, noticing that he was beginning to fall asleep. “How about you take a little nap? You look tired.” Jay got up from the bed before tucking Zach under the sheets. He gently kissed his son’s forehead and sat back down on the bed, waiting for him to fall asleep. His thumb rubbed softly across the bruise around Zach’s eye, a feeling of guilt overcoming him. Jay felt terrible for not being to protect his little boy, and even worse for getting so angry.

As Zach’s breathing grew heavier, Jay heard the back door open and close. Excited voices travelled through the house and he heard Erin coming up the stairs. When she popped her head into the room a moment later, Jay nodded at her, signalling that they should go talk. Jay leaned down and kissed Zach’s forehead one more time before following his wife to their bedroom.

Jay closed the door behind himself, moving to sit beside Erin on their bed. “Fuck Erin. I just… how did I miss it. He got pushed around at school but I never noticed anything unusual about him. Fuck, what kind of father am I?

Erin reached out and pressed her palm flat against Jay’s chest, an action that always calmed him down when he was on edge. “The best.”

“My Dad, he, uh, he never noticed this kind of shit with Will and me. He was always busy either watching TV or drinking the night away. I used to come home with bruises all over me and he never said a damn word. I vowed I’d never be like him and look at me!”

“Jay. Stop.” Erin moved her hand from his chest to caress his face. “You are an  _amazing_ father. You’re  _nothing_ like your dad. Our kids basically think you hung the damn moon!”

The two were interrupted by a knock on the door before Maddie excitedly ran into the room. “ _Daddy_!!!! I missed you!”

“I missed you too, sweetheart.”

“Could you please make us a snack?”

Erin pulled her lower lip between her teeth to bite back a laugh. She raised her brow at Jay as if to say ‘see, told you so’.

“Of course I can.” Jay peppered kisses all over Maddie’s face as he threw her over his shoulder. She giggled wildly as he carried her out of the room.

* * *

When Jay woke the next morning, he made two phone calls—one to Antonio to make arrangements to take the day off, and the other to Zach’s school to give the principal a piece of his mind.

After Erin left with the other three kids, Jay called Zach to come help him clean up the kitchen from breakfast. They stood side-by-side, Jay washing the dishes, and Zach drying them. Once everything was put away, Jay wiped his hands on his jeans and suggested they go sit in the living room.

“What are we going to do Dad?” Zach asked once he was seated beside Jay on the couch.

“I thought we could watch a movie?” Jay offered, beckoning for Zach to come cuddle up with him as he switched on the TV. “What do you say?”

“Star Wars?”

Jay chuckled—Zach was so much like him it was kind of scary. “Sure thing buddy.”

They spent the rest of the day together, taking the occasional break from their movie marathon to talk about things happening at school or play Zach’s favourite game, chess. At one point Jay noticed Zach wincing in pain as he rubbed his swollen eye, so he went into the kitchen to grab him an icepack and told him to rest for a little bit.

Later that afternoon, as Jay and Zach were putting on their jackets to go pick up the other kids, Zach suddenly wrapped his arms around his father’s waist.

“Hey.” Jay spoke softly as he knelt down to face his son, moving to pull the little boy into his arms. “What was that for?”

“Thank you Dad, you’re the best.” Zach murmured into Jay’s chest. “I love you.”

Tears clouded Jay’s vision as he pressed his nose into his son’s hair, whispering into his ear: “I love you too, buddy.”


	9. Chapter 9

“ _The surgeon makes an incision in the—_ ” Jay read with a look of horror on his face. “Ugh, babe I don’t think I can do this.”

“Well we could never have sex again if you’d prefer? It would just be a lot of self-love from here on out.” Erin retorted quickly as she tried to get her shirt to cover her six-month bump.

“Oh please, you wouldn’t be able to stay away. You can barely keep your hands off of me as it is.” Jay smirked.

“Ha ha.” She walked over to where he sat on the bed with his laptop and read the screen over his shoulder. “ _The procedure will not affect your testosterone levels, erections, climaxes or sex drive_. See, once you’re all healed you’ll be completely back to normal.”

“Yeah but—”

“No buts Jay, we agreed months ago! This is happening, no more stalling. The appointment’s been made, you’ve already booked the day off work—there’s no going back.”

“I could just… stay home?” Erin shot him an annoyed look. “Fine… fine, I’ll go. But you owe me.”

“I’m carrying your  _fourth_ child, Jay. Think about who  _really_ owes who here mister.” Erin raised her eyebrow at him as she finished getting dressed.

Jay stood up and wrapped his arms around Erin. “You’re right, I’m sorry babe. I’m just… nervous.”

“You’ll be fine,” Erin stepped on her tiptoes to give him a kiss. “Now pull yourself together Halstead, I’m going to make sure the kids are ready for school, and then we’re going.”

* * *

“Um, Erin?” Jay asked when the nurse called him back for the procedure, nerves evident in his shaky voice. “Are you uh, are you gonna go in with me?”

“Do you want me to?”

Jay bit his lip and nodded slowly. “Please?”

Erin reached out and held her husband’s face in her hand, running her thumb against the stubble on his chin. “Whatever you need babe.” She pulled Jay’s shaky hand into her own and lead him in the direction the nurse had indicated.

* * *

“Okay Jay, I’m just going to numb the area where I’ll be making the incision. Just take a few deep breaths.”

“Mhmm.” Jay managed to choke out. “Uh, doc? No offense but I don’t exactly need commentary here. Just do what you gotta do.”

“Okay, just take a deep breath in 3…2…1…” Jay winced in anticipation, squeezing Erin’s hand.

* * *

“Erin, I think I need a wheelchair or something. I don’t think I can walk.” Jay leaned into Erin as they walked slowly towards the car. He was still a little bit numb, but he could feel the pain starting to set in.

“I can see the car, we’re almost there. You’re fine babe.” Erin wrapped her arm around her husband’s torso to steady him as they inched closer and closer to their SUV. When they had finally made it, Erin unlocked the door and helped Jay into the passenger seat.

“You’re pregnant, I’m supposed to be taking care of  _you_.” Jay groaned as he sat back. “Damn this really hurts. I’m going to need some ice. Ugh this is worse than that time you tasered me in the groin.”

Erin bit back a laugh when she thought about that day. “Just wait a week or two, you won’t even remember you had the procedure done.” She tried to lighten the mood as she slid into the driver’s seat and started the engine.

* * *

“Where’s Daddy?” Maddie asked when she saw Erin waiting outside the school later that afternoon.

“Hey what am I, chopped liver?” Erin placed a hand over her heart, feigning hurt.

“Sorry Mommy!” The little girl threw her arms around her mother’s legs, squeezing as tight as she could.

Erin crouched down—as much as her large belly would allow—to pull her daughter into a hug, pressing her lips against her forehead to kiss her hello. “Daddy isn’t feeling very well baby, so I get to pick you guys up today!”

“Is he okay?!” A look of concern washed across Maddie’s face.

“Yes baby, he’s fine. Come on, let’s go get your brothers, okay?” She stood up and took Maddie’s little hand in her own. Together they walked around the school to wait where the older kids would be dismissed.

When they saw the boys walk out the doors a few minutes later, Erin and Maddie waved them over. “Hi guys!”

“Mom? Why are you here?” Ben asked.

“Where’s Daddy?” Zach added, his brows furrowing in concern.

“Daddy’s at home resting, he had to go to the doctor’s today.” Erin explained as they walked toward the parking lot.

“Did Dad get shot?” Ben asked, his voice a mix of worry and excitement—he was always bragging about how cool his father was.

Erin’s eyes went wide. “No, of course not!” As she got the kids settled into the car, she continued, “Daddy had to have a little operation today, so he’s just taking it easy until he feels better.”

“An operation?!” Zach exclaimed, panic evident in his voice.

Hearing her brother getting so worked up made Maddie anxious too. “Is Daddy going to die?!”

“No, Daddy is not going to  _die_.” Erin rolled her eyes at Maddie’s dramatics. Leave it to their daughter to come up with the worst possible scenarios. “He’s just going to be a little sleepy for a couple of days and then he’ll be back to normal.”

“Oh… okay.” Maddie didn’t seem entirely convinced.

Erin knew the kids would calm down when they saw their father.

* * *

Jay was sprawled out on the couch, a bag of ice pressed against his groin, when he heard the back door open and his wife and kids burst into the house.

“DADDY!” When Jay heard his daughter’s voice, he quickly sat up straighter, hoping he would be able to protect himself from Maddie’s typical outbursts of excitement.

“Maddie be careful!” Erin gently scolded as she watched all three kids make their way over to their father. Jay guided Maddie up onto his knee, careful to keep her weight far from his groin.

Zach’s eyes bugged out when he saw where the ice pack was positioned on his father. “Dad! What happened?!”

“Uh, well I had to have an operation today. I’m fine though, everything is okay.”

“But why’d you have it there?” Ben asked, pointing at Jay’s crotch.

Jay looked seriously at both of his boys before shifting his gaze over to his girls. Erin was standing with a shit-eating grin on her face as she watched him trying to give an answer to the question. “Well, I had a little operation so I won’t be able to make any more babies. I’m just going to be a sore for a few days, but I promise I’m okay.” He hoped that his explanation would be good enough for his curious children.

“No more babies?!” Maddie looked like she was on the verge of tears. Between Will and Natalie’s new baby girl and her excitement about being a big sister, babies were all she could talk about lately.

“No more.” Jay confirmed with a nod of his head.

“B-but… why?”

“Four babies is a lot, I think we’re all done.” As Jay finished speaking, his little girl burst into tears. He looked over to Erin desperately, as he tried to soothe his daughter by rocking her gently. His slight movements caused pain to shoot through his body, and Maddie’s weight only added to it.

“How about we bake some cookies?” Erin proposed. “Think that might help Daddy feel better?”

“Cookies would  _definitely_ help. I think Mommy might need a helper though, what do you think Mads?” Jay used his thumb to wipe the tears off his daughter’s cheeks before helping Erin lift the little girl down to the floor.

“I think Daddy needs  _triple chocolate_  cookies to feel better.” Erin tried her best to sound excited as she and Maddie walked hand-in-hand into the kitchen.

* * *

The next weekend, Hank invited Ben, Zach and Maddie for a sleepover. The kids were excited to spend time with their Grandpa Hank, and Jay and Erin were looking forward to a rare night to themselves. Friday night was spent cuddled up on the couch, eating takeout from their favourite Thai restaurant and watching a movie that wasn’t full of cartoon animals.

And on Saturday morning, Jay and Erin didn’t wake up to an alarm clock or a child jumping on their bed. They stayed wrapped up together until late in the morning, finally rolling out of bed when Erin had to pee. While she was in the bathroom, Jay threw on some sweatpants and headed down to the kitchen to whip up some breakfast.

He was just finishing up the french toast when Erin came downstairs and rounded the corner into the kitchen. Jay walked over to her, pressing his lips against her forehead before taking her hand and leading her to sit down at the table. Once she was seated, he brought her a steaming cup of coffee.

Erin sighed as she lifted the mug to her lips. “Decaf is the  _worst_. Honestly, I don’t even think it should be called coffee.”

Jay chuckled as he put their plates on the table. He grabbed his own coffee and sat down beside her, reaching his hand over to stretch his palm over her belly. “It won’t be too much longer babe.”

“I know, and then I’m going to need to drink a gallon every morning to have enough energy to wrangle  _four_ little Halsteads.” Erin couldn’t help but grin at the thought. She moved her left hand to rest over Jay’s on her belly. “I know I freaked out a little bit at first, but I am  _so_ excited for this little one to get here.”

“Me too.” Jay leaned forward to kiss her. “Now eat up, we have an afternoon of house hunting ahead of us.”

* * *

“… it has two floors and it’s only about ten minutes from your children’s schools. And there are two daycare centres located five minutes in the other direction.” As their realtor walked through their second house of the day, Erin sighed. She just wasn’t getting the feeling that it was  _the one_ —the paint colours weren’t her favourite, there were only four bedrooms, and the backyard was too small for their growing family.

When she glanced back at Jay, he had a sly grin plastered on his face. “I don’t know, I’m just not feeling it. How about you Jay?”

“Huh?” Her voice broke him out of his thoughts and his cheeks flushed pink as he noticed both Erin and the realtor looking at him expectantly. “Yeah… it’s good… but I agree with you. Definitely.” Erin gave him a pointed look as she quickly realized what was going through his head; his broken speech was his tell.

“Maybe we could check out the rest of the house, perhaps a specific space might sell it for you?” The realtor walked out of the master bedroom, past the couple. Erin smacked Jay lightly on his shoulder as he looked back into the ensuite from his vantage point.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“Oh please, that wasn’t even hard.” Erin retorted before dropping her voice to a whisper. “And just for once, can you stop thinking about sex?!”

“I can’t help it, did you see that shower?!” Jay stepped closer to his wife, winking at her as he placed his hands on her hips.

“I did, and do you see this paint job? It reminds me of your old apartment with those awful yellow walls.”

“Hey, that was a great apartment! And if I recall correctly, you showed up at my door pretty damn often, Lindsay. And it was the first place we ever—”

“Everything alright in here?” The realtor popped his head back into the room and looked expectantly at the couple.

“Yes, everything is fine. Let’s keep looking around.” Erin replied quickly as she made her way to the door, shooting another stern look in Jay’s direction.

* * *

Jay and Erin weren’t feeling very optimistic as they approached their last house of the day. They had seen so many, but none seemed quite right—and the clock was ticking to find someplace big enough for their soon-to-be family of six. As he helped Erin out of the car, Jay didn’t miss the look of unease on her face. He gave her a small smile as they walked up the front path to meet their realtor on the porch.

“Okay, I really think this one might be it!” The realtor’s voice was enthusiastic, as if he thought they would buy the house strictly based on his attitude. “There are three floors and a finished basement, and it’s  _under_ your budget. Only about fifteen minutes from your kids’ school, and there are three daycare centres within walking distance. If you’ll just follow me inside…” They watched him punch in a pin code to retrieve the key from the lockbox before ushering them inside.

They were greeted by a front foyer area with a closet and a small living room. “There’s lots of space here for when you’re trying to get all of the kids out the door. If you put a bench there,” he pointed to the wall adjacent to the door, “you could keep an eye on the kids who are ready to go while you try to wrangle the others.” He suggested with an awkward chuckle. They explored the bright and spacious main level before heading upstairs. “To your right we have the master bedroom and ensuite, and on the left there are two more bedrooms, might be nice for the younger kids? The third floor has two additional bedrooms, two more bathrooms and a laundry room. Perfect to give the older kids a little bit of privacy.”

“So there are five bedrooms?” Erin confirmed as she walked into the master bedroom and took a look around. “That’s perfect, we’d really like the kids to have their own rooms.”

Jay walked into the ensuite as Erin surveyed the bedroom. His eyes immediately landed on the double sinks and the marble countertop; it was smooth and cold as he ran his hand along the surface. He noticed a towel hanging directly above the toilet, which was odd, but he was a handy guy, that was something he could easily fix. The spacious shower and deep soaker tub were easily his favourite parts of the house; he would honestly put an offer in right that second just for those features. As his mind drifted to thoughts of getting Erin in that shower, a devilish grin spread across his face.

“And if you’ll just follow Mr. Halstead into the ensuite, you’ll see why it’s my favourite space in this house.” When Erin walked in, she spotted her husband standing in the middle of the bathroom, his eyes glued to the shower. “It’s got his and hers closets and—” Erin had tuned out the realtor as he walked to the other side of the bathroom while she approached Jay. Sneaking her hand around his waist, she giggled when she heard him suck in a breath.

“You know, I can think of a lot of ways we could use that shower.” Her voice was low and raspy and Jay had to shoot her a look, telling her to stop what she was doing.

The realtor chose that moment to butt in again. “Ah yes, the shower. Isn’t that tile beautiful?”

“Absolutely stunning. I can’t wait to take a shower in there one day.” Erin replied with a small smile on her face.

“Does that mean you’ve found the one?”

“Potentially…” Erin said as she looked over at her husband, running her tongue across her lips. She knew how much that had an effect on him and her smile grew as she watched him squirm.

* * *

As they pulled away from the house, Jay turned his gaze away from the road to glance at Erin. “So babe, what did you think?”

“I think it’s pretty perfect. The kids would each have their own rooms, there’s that amazing rec room for them to play in, the yard is huge, and well, we’ve already talked about the shower.”

Jay winked at her as he reached over and took her hand in his own, giving it a little squeeze. “So… think we should go for it?”

Erin grinned from ear to ear as she nodded. “Yes, let’s do it.” She pulled her phone out of her purse and dialed their realtor right then to let him know they wanted to make an offer.

When Erin used her key to let them into Voight’s house, they immediately heard the excited voice of their daughter coming to greet them. “Mommy! Daddy!” She came running from the kitchen and tried to hug both of her parents at the same time. “Did you find us a new house?”

“We did.” Jay replied as he took off his jacket.

“Yay! When can we move in? Tomorrow?”

“No, not tomorrow silly goose. There’s still some things that need to get done. Let’s go eat dinner first.” Erin laughed as she led the way to the kitchen, where Hank and the boys were sitting at the table. “Hey guys.” She leaned down to press a kiss on the top of Ben and Zach’s heads before walked around to say hello to Hank. “How were they?”

“Perfect angels.” Hank rose from his seat to wrap his arms around Erin. “Never knew Halsteads could be so well-behaved, you sure they’re Jay’s?”

“Ha ha, very funny. Trust me, they’re mine.” Jay rolled his eyes, chuckling as he extended his arm to shake Hank’s hand.

* * *

A month later, the Halstead family was finally getting ready to move into their new home. Balancing three kids, their caseload, and Erin’s pregnancy with packing and moving had been extremely stressful for Jay and Erin. They could never find anything they needed; most of their stuff was packed into boxes, and they were constantly dealing with the kids ripping them open to find a specific toy or game.

Erin’s belly had grown even larger over the last month, so Jay tried to get her to rest as much as possible. But she felt guilty watching him packing up the boxes after work while simultaneously trying to keep the kids occupied. Luckily, they managed bribe Will, Antonio, Ruzek and Atwater with pizza and beer to help them get everything moved into the new place, alleviating some of the work for Jay. It was an entire weekend of men going in and out of both houses and bantering with each other along the way. Fortunately Hank had offered to watch the kids to keep them out of the way.

Whenever Erin tried to do  _anything_ , one of the guys always seemed to be around stop her. “I don’t think so.” Antonio’s voice came out of nowhere, startling Erin as she reached for the box of dishes sitting on the kitchen island.

“Antonio, I’m  _pregnant_ , not an invalid. I can’t just sit here and watch you guys do everything!”

“Of course you can. That’s why we brought the couch in first.” He countered, grabbing the dishes from her. “Go take a seat, put your feet up, call Burgess or something.” He crossed his arms and blocked her path to the box, waiting for her to return to the living room.

Erin held her hands up defensively. “Fine, fine, I’ll go.” She started walking toward the couch, watching Antonio out of the corner of her eye. The second he had walked back out the door, she hopped up and headed right back to the kitchen with a victorious smirk on her face.

“Hey, not so fast babe. What do you think you’re doing?” Jay had just come down the stairs and reached out to wrap his arms around Erin from behind. “You need to rest.”

“I’ve been resting all day! I’m tired of resting.”

“Please babe?” Jay pressed his lips against his wife’s neck. “For me?” Erin huffed out a sigh of exasperation, nodding as she turned around to kiss him.

“Hey, no funny business you two.” Ruzek came running down the stairs with Will and Atwater trailing close behind him. They had shed their shirts as they were carrying the furniture upstairs; the late August heat had them dripping with sweat. “Remind me why you two decided to move in the middle of summer.”

“Because the baby is due in less than two months and we need to get everything settled before then.” Jay explained as he gave Erin one last kiss before reluctantly pulling away.

“And who decided to buy a house with three damn floors? Getting furniture up those stairs is a bitch.” Will muttered under his breath as he glared at his brother.

“That was my choice actually.” Erin smiled as she looked over at her brother-in-law. She knew he couldn’t be mad at her. “Nice and spacious.”

“At least there’ll be cold beer after this.” Atwater laughed. “I think we’ve more than earned it.”

As the guys headed back out to the truck to grab another load, Jay watched Erin slowly make her way over to the couch. He smiled at her, his grin grower even larger as he glanced down at her belly; he couldn’t wait for the newest Halstead to join their family.

* * *

A week later, Intelligence was hard at work trying to locate two brothers involved with a drug deal linked to three murders. Erin reclined back in her seat as she took a look at the board in the bullpen; well past the point of being allowed out into the field, she had been doing whatever she could to support the unit from behind her desk. When she felt a sharp kick, her hand quickly shot up to cradle her growing bump and she smiled.

Jay’s eyes met hers, his brow raised, silently questioning if everything was okay. She waved him off and leaned forward again to focus on the files on her desk.

And that’s when she felt the familiar pain in her abdomen.

_Two months early._


	10. Chapter 10

“It’s still a bit chilly outside, do you really think that he’ll be warm enough?” Erin watched as Jay got seven-month-old Ben ready for a trip to the park. It was the middle of April, but since Chicago had had a few unseasonably warm days recently, they wanted to take advantage of it.

“He’s gonna be fine, babe. I mean, I think I’ve dressed him in enough layers.” Jay looked down at Ben who was lying on his back on the floor, giving his father a toothless grin. He kept grabbing his toque and trying to throw it away, clearly annoyed with it, but Jay would always put it right back over his head.

Erin gnawed on her bottom lip as she stared at her husband and son. “Are you sure you’ll be okay alone? I can come with you.”

“I know you can, but you deserve a break. Go take a nap or a bubble bath or something.” Jay rose from his kneeling position on the floor to press his lips first against Erin’s nose and then again to her lips.

While Jay walked across the living room to grab his jacket and hat, Erin settled down on the floor to lay beside her baby boy.

By the time Jay made it back over to his wife and son, he had half a mind to ditch the whole park idea and just spend the entire day cuddling with his two favourite people. But the fresh air would be good for Ben. And as he had already reminded Erin, she deserved a break.

“Come on little man.” Once Jay had scooped the baby up into his arms, he stretched out his right hand to pull Erin up off the floor.

“Are you su—”

Jay stopped Erin’s question with a kiss, smiling against her lips. “Yes.” He walked over to the door with Ben in his arms, slipping his feet into his boots before waving goodbye to Erin.

* * *

They were lucky to have a park within easy walking distance of their apartment; Jay had carefully strapped the baby’s carrier to his chest and held Ben’s little hands in his own as they walked.

“Okay Ben, how about we start off with the swings?” Jay and Erin had taken to asking Ben questions and having conversations with him as though he would answer. Erin had read that talking to a baby was good for brain development and would encourage early communication, so of course Jay was on board.

As he pushed his son in a baby swing, he noticed a little girl standing nearby watching them intently. With a quick glance to confirm that Ben was still content, Jay took a few steps closer to the little girl, crouching down to her level as he spoke, his voice gentle—he didn’t want to scare her. “Is everything okay sweetheart?” There were tears pooling in the little girl’s eyes as she looked up at Jay, slowly shaking her head. “What’s the matter?”

Her voice was so quiet Jay probably wouldn’t have heard her response if he hadn’t been so close. “I-I c-can’t find m-my m-mommy.” She was trembling, and the moment she finished her sentence, the tears fell.

“My name is Jay and I’m a police officer. Do you want me to help you find your mommy?” The little girl nodded in response. “Can you tell me your name?”

“Jenny.” She whispered in his ear.

“Okay Jenny, let’s go find your mommy.” Jay stood up and the little girl quickly reached to slip her tiny hand into his much larger one. He quickly glanced around the park, his gaze searching for a mother looking for her child. It hadn’t been busy when they’d arrived, but suddenly the park was crowded. “I’m going to have to let go of your hand for a quick second so I can pick up my baby, okay?” Jenny nodded and the moment Jay released her hand, she grabbed hold of his pant leg, clinging tightly to him. As he lifted Ben out of the swing, he asked Jenny a few more questions. “Um, do you remember what colour coat your mommy was wearing?”

He tried his best to listen to Jenny’s whispered answer as Ben started whining in his ear, clearly unimpressed that swing time had ended so soon.

“Black I think?”

“Okay…” Jay looked around the playground and noticed at least four or five women wearing black jackets. “Do you, uh, do you know your mommy’s name?”

“Um, Mommy?” Jay’s heart broke a little at her innocent response.

“Jenny, how about we go sit down on the bench and wait for your mommy? Maybe she’ll find us there.” The little girl nodded her head slowly as she held onto Jay’s free hand.

“What if we don’t find her?!” Jenny asked as they approached the bench.

“Don’t worry, we’ll find her.” Jay sat back on the bench with Ben on his lap and Jenny cuddled into his side. He ran his hand up and down her back to try to calm her down, she was shaking beside him. The three of them sat together for several minutes; Ben was almost asleep, Jenny was fighting back tears and Jay was constantly scanning the people coming and going around them.

“Jenny! Jenny!” Jay heard a woman shouting and turned in his seat, looking for the source of the voice. Suddenly a frantic woman appeared, tears streaming down her face as she recognized her little girl sitting on the bench beside him. “Jenny!”

“Mommy!” Jenny leapt from her seat and flung her little body at her mother.

“You had me so scared baby girl!” The woman peppered kisses all over her daughter’s face before finally looking up at Jay. “Jenny, who’s this?”

Jay stood up then, extending his arm to try to shake the woman’s hand. “I’m Jay.”

“Jay.” As she repeated his name, there was a twinkle in her eye. Her lips spread into a smile as she placed her hand in his. “I’m Amber. Thank you  _soooo_ much Jay. I don’t know how she disappeared so quickly. I was on the phone with my lawyer and  _poof_ she was gone!” Amber batted her eyelashes as she did a quick once-over of Jay. “Just finalizing my divorce.”

“Yeah? Well I’m just glad your daughter is okay.”

“Cute baby. He looks just like you. He’ll be breaking hearts one day.” She giggled.

“Actually, he’s the spitting image of my  _wife_.”

“Wife.” Amber rolled the word around her tongue as she licked her lips.

“Yeah, well we’re just going to get back to the swings. Bye Jenny.” Jay waved at the little girl who waved back with a smile. As he settled Ben back into the swing, the baby erupted in happy giggles that made Jay’s heart swell with joy. Jay leaned in close to kiss his son’s nose before carefully pushing the swing back; he repeated the action over and over, and Ben’s smile grew wider every time.

It wasn’t long before Amber’s voice broke through and interrupted Jay’s moment with his son, much to his disappointment.

“You know, I was thinking, maybe we should grab some coffee. As a thank you for finding my daughter.”

“It’s no trouble at all. I’m a cop I’ve dealt with this many times.” Jay’s response was curt. He was trying to enjoy an afternoon with his son, he didn’t want to deal with this woman. Despite his frustration at the interruption, Jay didn’t look away from Ben, continuing to push him back and forth in the swing.

“A cop, huh? Well maybe you should arrest me for being  _such_  a bad girl? You might even have to frisk me.”

Jay raised an eyebrow, shocked by Amber’s forwardness; he finally turned to face her. “Look, I’m married.  _Happily married_. I’m not looking for anyone new, not now, not ever.”

Amber sighed audibly, quickly turning her back to Jay and taking her daughter’s hand in hers as she stalked away.

Jay shook his head— _some people_ —and shifted his full attention back to Ben. He smiled at the happy baby staring back at him, kissing his cheeks before he started pushing the swing again.

* * *

When Jay and Ben crossed the threshold of the apartment later that afternoon, Erin rushed to greet them, kissing every inch of her baby’s face before rising to her tiptoes to repeat the action with her husband.

“Hello to you too.” Jay chuckled, carefully unstrapping Ben from the carrier.

Erin quickly scooped the baby into her arms, kissing him again. “I missed you my baby.” She shifted Ben onto her hip, then turned to her husband: “So how was the park?”

Jay sighed, rubbing his palm across his face.

“What? What happened?” Panic rose in Erin’s voice; she could read Jay like a book.

“It’s nothing really. Just some parents are pretty damn awful.”

“What happened?” Erin repeated her earlier question, this time reaching her free hand up to cradle Jay’s face in her palm.

Jay sighed again. “This little girl… she was lost and her mother? Well, let’s just say she seemed far more interested in  _me_  than she was in her own fucking  _daughter_.”

As they settled on the couch, Erin placed Ben on Jay’s lap before curling her body into his side. Jay’s arm immediately wrapped around her as he leaned to press his lips into her hair, eliciting a sigh of content from his wife.

“Well,” Erin began carefully, shifting her position to stare at her husband and son. “I can’t exactly  _blame_ the woman for hitting on you. You’re quite the panty dropper Mr. Halstead.”

Jay laughed, his cheeks flushing pink at her words. “Just yours, babe.”

“Seriously, you look damn good with a baby.” Erin paused, nervously chewing her lip. “I uh… I wonder how you’d look with  _two_  babies.”

“Wait—what?” Jay’s eyes grew wide, his mouth hanging open awkwardly.

“I’m pregnant, Jay.” Erin clarified in a breathy whisper.

“You’re serious?”

Erin didn’t speak, instead opting to reach into her back pocket and pull out the pregnancy test she took while her boys were at the park. As she carefully placed it in Jay’s hand, his gaze shifted down to the stick before he looking back up at Erin.

“Oh my God.” His face erupted into a grin and he shifted slightly to hug her even tighter against him, kissing the top of her head over and over again through his tears.

Ben was at the age where he was curious about everything; while his parents were momentarily distracted, he reached out his little hand, anxious to see what his father was holding. “Hey!” Jay quickly reached down and pulled the stick from Ben’s chubby little fingers before he could try to put it into his mouth. “Don’t do that little man, that’s yucky.”

Erin quickly grabbed hold of the baby and set him on his blanket on the floor, handing him a teething ring to gnaw on, keeping him distracted.

When she had settled back against his chest, Jay’s hand moved to rest along her abdomen before he spoke again: “I just, wow, I can’t believe Ben’s going to be a big brother!” He couldn’t have stopped smiling if his life depended on it.

“It’s kind of crazy, huh?” She turned in place to look up into Jay’s eyes.

“If you mean crazy perfect, then  _hell yes_.” Jay bent his head down to press his lips against hers. “I love you so damn much babe. You and our babies.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a direct continuation of Chapter 9

Intelligence was hard at work trying to locate two brothers involved with a drug deal linked to three murders. Erin reclined back in her seat as she took a look at the board in the bullpen; well past the point of being allowed out into the field, she had been doing whatever she could to support the unit from behind her desk. When she felt a sharp kick, her hand quickly shot up to cradle her growing bump and she smiled.

Jay’s eyes met hers, his brow raised, silently questioning if everything was okay. She waved him off and leaned forward again to focus on the files on her desk.

And that’s when she felt the familiar pain in her abdomen.

_Two months early._

The tearing pain felt vaguely familiar, although she barely ever felt it as dopamine would be coursing through her body as her baby—pink and beautiful and perfect—would be laid on her chest. Yet, the pain was familiar.

Erin tried to persuade herself that what she was feeling wasn’t real—it was just an illusion—so she just took some deep breaths hoping to alleviate some of the pain. Over her many years as a cop, she had learned how to control her breathing in times when her adrenaline was pumping and her nerves had her hands shaking, making her anxiety unnoticeable, not drawing the attention of any of the others in the bullpen.   

Except him.

When she didn’t immediately pick up her pen to resume writing, Jay knew something was wrong. He watched her face from his desk and noticed that her eyes were concealing pain. Her shoulders moved up and down as she breathed, and he managed to count out the seconds as she attempted to calm herself down.

“Erin?” He was up and at her desk in a matter of seconds, squatting down in front of her with his hands on her knees. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m… just… in a lot… of pain. Jay, I think something’s wrong!” Erin grabbed onto his hand and squeezed as hard as she could and she tried to keep her breathing steady.

“I’ll go get the car!” Ruzek got to his feet quickly, swiping his keys and phone from his desk before making his way down the stairs.

“Erin just keep breathing. Do you think you can walk? Maybe I should call an ambulance?” Jay stood up and looked down at his wife; his legs felt like they would give out from underneath him at any second, so he leaned against her desk.

“Med’s only… five minutes away. Help me up.” Atwater stood on one side of Erin as Jay wrapped his arm around her waist, hoisting her up. The two men helped her slowly down the steps and into the backseat of Ruzek’s car that was waiting outside.  

“Jay… the baby’s not really… kicking anymore. Something is seriously wrong.” Tears were flowing steadily from Erin’s eyes as she grasped onto her husband’s hand tightly. “This can’t be happening Jay, it’s too early.”  

“Ruzek, step on it!” Jay yanked his phone from his pocket, quickly clicking one of the numbers on his speed dial. “Will! I don’t know what’s happening, but Erin’s in a lot of pain. We’re almost at Med, just please meet us there with her doctor.” Erin fell limply against his side, crying, as he hung up the phone. “Deep breaths babe.”  

Will and Maggie were waiting at the emergency doors with a few others when Ruzek pulled up.

“Okay, let’s get her on a gurney and into Trauma 2.” Maggie directed, reaching her hand out to hold Will back. “Dr. Halstead, this is your family, you can’t work this one.”

Will sighed and for a second it looked like he was going to argue, but then he looked over and saw the fear on his brother’s face. Will was at Jay’s side immediately as they rushed into the exam room after Erin. Jay looked up, his eyes red with fear and unshed tears. “Will, what… what am I supposed to do?”

“Shh, it’ll be okay Jay. Everything will be okay.” Jay let Will pull him into a hug.

“What’s happening to her?”

“It could be a number of things, but it’s most likely that the baby is just under some stress.”

“So the doctor can fix this, right?”

“I don’t know Jay, we just have to wait. We need to give them space to work.” Will led Jay out of the exam room, closing the curtain behind them.

A few minutes later, the curtain flew open. “We need to get her up to surgery right now. The baby can’t stay inside of her any longer, we’ll need to do a c-section immediately.” The team of doctors and nurses quickly moved Erin’s bed past the two Halstead men. The sheets were soiled in blood around her and when Jay looked back into the trauma room, the floor was no better.

“Jay.” Erin’s skin was pale and diaphoretic and the oxygen mask on her face was clouded from her breaths. “The kids.”

“They’re at school. Will can pick them up. Don’t worry about any of that right now babe.”

Erin grabbed Jay’s hand as she was pushed toward the elevator. “Jay, promise me you’ll make sure this baby is okay.”

“Of course babe, it’ll be okay. Everything will be okay.” Jay squeezed her hand in his own.

“No Jay… I mean… if it comes down to me… or the baby… Jay, I need this baby to live.”

“Erin, w-what?  _No_. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Please Jay, promise me?” Will held Jay back, while Erin’s bed was pushed into the elevator.

“I love you, Erin!” Jay was sure she opened her mouth to say the same thing to him, but was interrupted by the closing of the elevator doors.

As the tears Jay had been holding back finally fell, he felt his brother pull him into another hug. “I can’t lose her Will, I can’t.”

“You won’t. Erin’s the toughest woman I know, she’ll be okay Jay.”

* * *

Jay had been waiting for an update for what felt like forever, his leg bouncing almost involuntarily as he sat on the edge of his seat on one of the hard chairs in the waiting room. Will had gone to pick Ben, Zach and Maddie up from school, but they would be back any minute—Jay didn’t know what he was going to tell them.

Sure enough, his three kids suddenly burst through the waiting room doors, followed closely by Will.

“Look Daddy, we got hamburgers!” Maddie exclaimed, her voice filled with excitement.

Despite the situation, Jay couldn’t help but smile at his little girl as she climbed into his lap. “Wow baby, aren’t you lucky!”

“What’s going on?” Zach asked timidly as he settled into a chair beside his father.

Jay opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.

Will jumped in to explain, kneeling in front of his nephews and niece. “Um, your mommy is having the baby right now, buddy.”

“Really?!” Maddie asked excitedly.

“Uncle Will, can I play on your phone?” Ben asked, sounding bored; he remembered his uncle had a racing game on his phone the last time he and Owen hung out together. This was Ben’s first real time experiencing the birth of one of his siblings but he knew from when his little cousin Zoey was born that they would be there for a while.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Daddy, is Mommy having a girl? Do I get a sister?” Jay chuckled at his little girl’s tenacity. Ever since they had told the kids they were having another baby, Maddie had been adamant that it would be a girl.

“I don’t know yet, sweetheart. We just have to wait and see.” Jay’s voice was quiet as he tried his best to keep his emotions at bay.

“Jay, if you want me to take the kids to my place—”

“No.” Jay interrupted Will’s offer, his voice hoarse. “I… uh… I want them here. I  _need_ them here. Can you get an update or something?”

“I don’t know if they’ll tell me anything, but I’ll try.” Will shot his brother one last look of concern before turning and heading toward the nurses’ station.

“Daddy why do you look so sad?” Maddie reached up and traced her little fingers along the worry lines stretching across her father’s forehead.

Jay’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment as he allowed himself to be calmed by his five-year-old. He took a deep breath and answered as honestly as he could in that moment: “I’m okay Mads, I’m just a bit worried about Mommy. But everything will be fine.”

“Why are you worried?” Zach asked from the chair next to Jay. He had been leaning against his father’s side, but sat up quickly at Jay’s words.

“Because… Mommy had some pain before we came to the hospital.” Jay chose his words carefully. Just because  _he_ was terrified didn’t mean his children needed to be. Jay felt Ben settle into the beside him, Will’s phone out of sight. As Jay made eye contact with his oldest, he recognized that Ben knew there was more to the story than he had let on. There was fear in the boy’s eyes but he didn’t say anything, instead just resting his head against his Dad’s shoulder. Adjusting Maddie in his lap, Jay moved an arm around Ben, rubbing small circles into his back. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

Jay wasn’t sure how long he sat cuddled up with Ben, Zach, and Maddie, but before he knew it, Will had returned. The look on his face told Jay that he still didn’t know anything. Will settled in the seat beside Zach and the little boy quickly climbed into his uncle’s lap.

It felt like hours before Erin’s doctor finally burst through the waiting room doors. All three children had fallen asleep: Zach was cuddled up in Will’s arms, Maddie’s face was buried in Jay’s chest, and Ben was reclined against his father, using two chairs as a makeshift bed. Jay quickly rose from his seat, careful not to disturb Ben as he adjusted Maddie in his arms. He tried to ignore the blood all over the doctor’s scrubs.

“Dr. Perez!” Jay exclaimed before launching into a million questions. “What’s going on? What happened? Is Erin okay? Is the baby okay?”

Dr. Perez held his hands up at Jay. He had delivered both Ben and Zach—and he was  _supposed_ to deliver Maddie too—so he had gotten to know the Halsteads pretty well over the years. “Slow down, Jay, just relax. Everything is fine. You’ve got another little boy in the family.”

“And Erin? How is she?”

“Erin will be fine. She had a placental abruption, that’s what caused all the blood and the pre-term labour. She lost a lot of blood, so the recovery will be slow, but she will be just fine.”

Jay blew out a deep breath at the doctor’s words. “And the baby, he-he was early…”

Dr. Perez knew what Jay was hinting at: “He’s small, so he will need to spend some time in the NICU, but considering he was delivered at 34 weeks, he’s actually doing very well.”

“When can I see them?”

“We just moved Erin into a recovery room. She’s a little groggy but she’s already asking for you.”

Jay reached out to shake Dr. Perez’s hand, muttering words of thanks. He carried Maddie over to where Will sat with the boys and carefully handed his little girl over to his brother. “You sure you’re okay to stay with them?”

“Of course. Go see your girl.”

* * *

Erin was reclined in the hospital bed with her eyes closed when Jay walked in. Her complexion was still pale but she seemed comfortable. When she felt Jay’s presence in the room, she immediately opened her eyes. “Jay…”

He practically ran across the room, gingerly sitting beside Erin on the bed as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “Hey, how you feeling?”

“Exhausted.” Erin’s face erupted into a tired smile. “We have another little boy.”

Jay leaned down to kiss her, smiling against her lips. “Maddie’s gonna be so pissed.”

“Wait, where are they?”

“Outside sleeping, they’re with Will.” Jay murmured into Erin’s hair.

“I wanna see them. Did they eat? What time is it? Shouldn’t they be in bed?”

“Erin… Erin, relax. It’s not even seven o’clock yet. Will picked them up from school and they got burgers.”

“What about you? Did you eat?”

“I’m supposed to be the one worrying right now, not you.”

A knock on the door interrupted the moment the couple were having and when Jay turned around to face the door, he could see Will popping his head into the room. “Would you like a few visitors?”

Erin nodded at Will with a smile—she was anxious to see her children.

“Be careful guys, Mommy had an operation, so she’s a little bit sore, okay?” Jay explained as he helped Erin sit up. The three kids slowly walked into the room and over towards the bed, each taking a turn giving their mother a careful hug.

“Mommy are you okay?” Zach asked worriedly as he furrowed his brows.

Erin reached out to cup Zach’s face in her hand. “Yes baby, I’m okay.”

“Mommy, where’s my baby sister?” Maddie asked.

“Mads, come here baby,” Jay began slowly, picking her up and resting her on his hip. “I know you really wanted a little sister, but… the new baby is a boy.”

The little girl’s mouth was agape as she listened to her father’s words. “A boy…”

“Mhmm, you have another brother! Mommy and Daddy are going to need a special helper with the baby, maybe his big sister?” Erin tried to sound as excited as she could, hoping to distract her daughter with thoughts of the new baby.

“Yes Mommy! I can help!” And just like that, Maddie’s excitement about the new baby had returned.

“Where is the baby?” Ben asked as he looked around the room for a crib.

“He um… he’s really little, so the doctors are just checking him over a bit more.” Jay explained, combing his fingers through his oldest son’s hair.

“You guys will get to meet him really soon, okay?” Erin added. “But I think right now it’s probably bedtime.”

“Who’s up for a sleepover at Uncle Will and Aunt Natalie’s?” Will piped in enthusiastically.

Jay gave Maddie a kiss and set her down so she could say goodnight to her mom. “Hey Will, are you sure you guys are okay to—?”

“Dude that’s not even a question, of course.” Will clapped his hand on his little brother’s shoulder. “You just focus on Erin and my new little nephew right now, okay?”

“Thanks bro, I really appreciate it.” Jay gave Will a quick hug before saying goodnight to his boys.

When he and Erin were alone again, Jay pressed his lips against her forehead. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay babe?”

“Jay, I’m fine. Are  _you_ okay?” Erin rubbed her hand across the scruff of his face.

Jay closed his eyes and relaxed against Erin’s touch. “I was so scared babe. I just… I thought I was going to lose you.”

“I promise you, that’ll never happen.” She leaned forward slightly to kiss him. “Besides, you can’t get rid of me that easily.”

* * *

“Knock, knock.” Maggie popped her head into the room a little later. “How are you doing Erin?”

“Not too bad.” Erin managed a smile, but Jay could tell she was still in pain.

“Well, a little birdie told me there’s a baby boy who wants to meet his mommy and daddy.” Maggie beamed at them.

“Really? We can see him?” Erin asked.

“You bet. I’ll just need to get a wheelchair for you and then we’ll all head on upstairs.”

Jay and Maggie helped Erin out of the bed and got her settled into the wheelchair. He knew she was in pain when she didn’t ask to walk up to the NICU instead of using the wheelchair.

When they got out of the elevator on the NICU floor, Erin grabbed Jay’s hand and pulled him in front of her. He quickly bent down in front of her, “What’s wrong babe?”

“I’m sorry.” Erin looked down, avoiding eye contact with Jay.

“Sorry? What are you sorry for?” Jay reached up to cup her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him.

“He’s so early, if I just rested more and didn’t go into work everyday like you and Hank said this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Babe… it’s not your fault. He just wanted to meet us a little bit early.” Jay tried to lighten the mood to ease Erin’s concerns. “He’s going to be just fine.”

As Maggie led them into the NICU, they were mesmerized by their baby boy. He was tiny and hooked up to various monitors and machines, but to Jay and Erin he was still absolutely perfect.

“C-can we hold him?” Jay asked tentatively.

“Of course! Maybe we could try some skin-to-skin with the both of you? It generally helps the baby stabilize.”

Jay helped unclasp Erin’s gown as Maggie put on a pair of gloves before carefully lifting their son from his small incubation bed. She placed him against Erin’s chest, adjusting the wires so they weren’t getting in the way.

“He’s beautiful.” Erin whispered, gently pressing her lips against the top of the tiny baby’s head.

“Does he have a name yet?”

“Not yet, we wanted to see him first.” Jay murmured, reaching up to carefully run a finger along his son’s cheek.

“I’ll leave you three alone for a few minutes.” Maggie smiled before quietly leaving the room.

Jay and Erin sat quietly for a while, just staring at their perfect little baby snuggled up against his mother’s chest. “Did you want to try? Skin-to-skin?”

“You just want me to take my shirt off, huh?” Jay chuckled as he grabbed the collar of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head in one fluid motion.

Erin watched him from her seat with a smile on her face before handing off their baby to him. The baby looked so small as Jay held him against his chest, lightly swaying his hips to keep the baby calm. Jay kissed his small forehead gently, relishing that new baby smell. “Hey bud. I’m your Daddy. I know we just met but I love you so much already.” When Jay glanced back up at Erin, he saw tears streaming down her cheeks, taking a step closer to her. “Er, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, it’s just… hormones and crap.” Erin laughed a little through her tears. “Oh Jay, I’m just so happy that our babies have you as a father.”

“They’re even luckier to have you. And so am I.” Jay smiled as he bent down to kiss Erin’s lips.

* * *

Jay spent the night in Erin’s room, sleeping on and off in an uncomfortable chair between his wife and his newborn son. The baby was doing well enough that he had been wheeled down from the NICU to share the room with his parents. Due to his oxygen tube and IV lines, they couldn’t pick him up too much so he had to sleep in his cot, much to the dismay of both Jay and Erin.

The next morning, Jay called Will to have him bring the kids back to the hospital to meet their new baby brother. About an hour later, Jay and Erin’s three kids plus Owen came running into the room followed by Will—who was holding baby Zoey— and Natalie, eager to see the newest member of the Halstead family.

“Where’s the baby?!” Maddie asked impatiently.

“Is he okay?” Zach added.

“What’s his name?” Ben chimed in.

“Hey guys, calm down. You need to use your inside voices.” Nat said, reaching to try to hold them back.

Once the kids had given their parents hugs and kisses, Jay led them over to the incubator where the littlest Halstead was sleeping. “Okay guys, this is your baby brother, Sam.” Ben, Zach, and Maddie were all silent as they stared intently at their new brother, smiles appearing on each of their faces.

“Can we hold him?” Maddie asked as she looked up at her father.

“Not yet, he’s still got some growing to do and he can get sick if he gets germs.” Jay answered. “But if you wash your hands with some soap at the sink you can still touch him.”

“What’s his full name?” Will asked Erin.

“Samuel James.” Erin was beaming with pride at the sight of her husband and three older children all entranced by their new addition.

“You named him after Grandpa?”

Jay’s head snapped up at his brother’s question, an emotional smile crossing his face. “Yeah.”

“That’s perfect.” Will grinned, crossing the room to pull his brother into a hug.

“Oh Erin, he’s beautiful.” Nat said as she watched her nephew sleeping. “How much did he weigh?”

Erin smiled softly as she answered. “Almost five pounds. Not too bad considering he was so early.”

The conversation was interrupted by Sam’s muffled cries. Natalie immediately recognized that the baby was hungry, so she beckoned for Will to help her get the kids out of the way.

“Who wants ice cream?” Will asked.

“Will, it’s ten o’clock in the morning!” Nat exclaimed as they ushered the children from the room.

“Ice cream knows no time.”

Once Will, Natalie and the kids were gone, Jay carefully lifted Sam out of the incubator and brought him over to Erin’s waiting arms. As the newborn latched onto Erin, Jay couldn’t help but stare; he was completely overwhelmed with love for his wife and children. When Sam was done eating, he burrowed his nose against his mother’s chest, and Erin shifted a little, motioning for Jay to come join them on the bed. He gingerly slid in beside her, wrapping his arm around her and kissing her cheek as she relaxed in his arms.

When Will popped his head into the room a few minutes later, he smiled at the sight in front of him. Jay, Erin, and baby Sam were snuggled together on the bed, all fast asleep.

* * *

Jay woke a couple of hours later to a text from Will letting him know that he and Natalie took the kids back to their place. He put his phone onto the table next to his bed, carefully snuggling back into Erin. They had put Sam back in his bed, fearing that his little body would get too cold.

“Who was that?” She mumbled sleepily, nuzzling her face into her husband’s chest.

“It was Will. He and Nat took the kids back to their place.” Jay ran his hand through her hair, leaning down to press a kiss against her temple. “Go back to sleep.”

“You need to take them home.”

“But I need to be here with you, you need me.”

“Jay, we’re probably going to be here for a few weeks. We can’t leave them with your brother for that long. They need you more. Please babe.”

Jay sighed. He ran his hand across his face before finally answering. “Are you sure you’ll be okay here without me?”

“Babe, we’ll be fine. I’m worried about the other kids, and you. You look so stressed and you’re barely getting any sleep. The kids have school on Monday. You’re gonna have to keep up with them.”

“Alright, okay.” Jay sighed again. “I’ll pick them up from Will’s on my way home.”

“Thank you.”

* * *

“When’s Mommy coming home?” Maddy asked from her seat at the island as she ate a snack.

“Hopefully soon. She needs to get better and Sam needs to get a little bit bigger first, okay?” Jay smiled at his daughter.

“Okay.” Maddie grumbled.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?”

“I miss Mommy.”

“I know, I miss her too.” Jay approached his daughter and kissed her forehead. “Tell you what, how about we do something fun this afternoon? And then before dinner, we can all go see Mommy again.”

“Can we bring Mommy dinner and eat with her? Like a picnic?”

“Of course we can.”

* * *

Over the next week, Jay did everything he could to keep his three oldest children occupied while Erin and Sam were in the hospital. But he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t exhausting. All his children had different interests and it was difficult trying to give his attention in three places at once. And soon, there would be a  _fourth_ to keep up with.

Antonio had been amazing, allowing Jay to work shorter hours so he would be able to take the kids to and from school every day. And every day, after picking them up, they went to the hospital to see Erin and Sam.

Finally, after a little over a week in the hospital, Sam and Erin were ready to come home. They dressed Sam in a simple white onesie and kept the small blue hat the hospital gave them on his head. He had gained almost a full pound during his time in the hospital and was thriving.  

“Ready to come home bud?” Jay cooed at his youngest son as he strapped him into the carseat. “There, you’re all set little man. Erin, babe, are you ready to go?”

“Yeah just a second.” Erin replied as she pulled a sweater over her head. “Okay, ready.”

Just like when they first brought their other children home from the hospital, Jay drove even more cautiously than usual. Hank had offered to pick the kids up from school that day and take them for dinner, giving Jay and Erin some extra time to get settled at home with Sam.

Jay had arranged to take some furlough to help Erin with the baby while she continued her recovery. He would feed Sam and put him down to sleep before dropping off the other kids every morning. His evenings consisted of helping each child with their homework, making dinner, and making sure Sam and Erin were comfortable. He tried to get all the housework done while the kids were at school, but there was always a load of laundry to do and when there wasn’t, there were clothes to fold and put away. He vacuumed the floors when the baby was awake and made sure to check in on him periodically. To give Erin a break during the day, Jay would wrap Sam in a baby sling attached to his chest, humming softly while he sterilized the baby bottles.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever commented on how hot of a house husband you make.” Erin walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. “Maybe I should require rest more often.”

“You’re supposed to be in bed.”

“I’ve been in bed all day, every day. I’m allowed to walk around you know.”

“Yes I know, but I would just feel more comfortable if you were resting.”

“Bite me, Halstead.”

“Gladly.” Jay wiggled his eyebrows, a devilish smirk flashing across his face.

“Come cuddle with me? I’m bored.” Erin pouted, knowing she could get her husband to do anything that way.

“I need to go pick up the kids, after that we can all cuddle. I promise.”

Erin huffed out a sigh of annoyance. “Fine.”

Sticking to his word, as soon as Jay brought the kids home from school, they took off for the master bedroom, climbing up onto the king-sized bed. “Someone requested a family cuddle?” Erin shifted a sleeping Sam in her arms as she reclined against the headboard of the bed.

Jay slid in beside Erin, wrapping his arm around her, while Ben snuggled against Erin’s other side. Zach was practically laying on top of his father, and Maddie was sandwiched right in between both of her parents. Within minutes all six Halsteads were sound asleep—their family  _finally_ complete.


	12. Chapter 12

Halloween was an exciting time at the Halstead house—costumes, pumpkin carving and of course, candy were the highlight of the entire month. The warm weather held steady that year in Chicago. Even by the end of October they weren’t facing the usual crisp autumn cold, making it easier for the kids to move around in their costumes without their winter jackets.

This would be fourteen-month-old Sam’s first time experiencing Halloween—he had been too young the year before to go trick-or-treating, so he stayed home in the comfort of his crib. This year, however, he would be going out with his older siblings and collecting candy in his little pumpkin basket.

Going to the store with four kids was an absolute nightmare. Trying to get them all to cooperate and stay away from the distraction of Halloween candy had always been a challenge for Jay and Erin. Unfortunately for Sam, his parents had secured him into the shopping cart and the only way out was if someone picked him up. But the other three Halstead children were running in front of their parents and into the different aisles whenever they saw something ‘cool.’

“Ben, please come back here, we can look at candy later.” Jay gently scolded as he waited at the end of the aisle with a hand on his hip, the other on the shopping cart. “We need to get all four of your costumes and at this rate, it’s going to take all day.” The eleven-year-old came running back to his father, an excited grin on his face. “Do you know what you want to be for Halloween this year?”

“An army guy! Just like you were Dad! That would be so cool.” The joy in his oldest son’s voice brought a smile to Jay’s face.

“Okay, we’ll we just have to see if they have some fatigues or something. Now please stay close to the cart, your mom and siblings are already looking at the costumes.”

* * *

“Baby, have you decided yet?” Erin asked their daughter as they walked through the aisle for the umpteenth time looking for a costume. The boys had already picked out what they wanted, but six-year-old Maddie had yet to find something she deemed to be good enough. She stopped occasionally to look at a couple of costumes, only to shrug or shake her head and move on.

“I don’t know, there are so many good ones.”

“Well, which ones do you  _really_  like?” Jay piped up from behind his girls as he and the boys followed them around. Ben wanted to push the cart, so Jay had moved aside and was giving nine-year-old Zach a piggy-back ride, while Sam sat quietly in the cart eating his snacks, oblivious to his big sister’s dilemma.

“I like all of them.” Maddie replied innocently as she shrugged her shoulders.

“Okay… what if you try to narrow it down to a few costumes? That way it’ll be a little bit easier to choose one.” Jay put Zach down on the ground before approaching his daughter. “This one’s cute.” He picked up a fuzzy white lamb costume that had a hood and a little tail attached to the back. “It’ll even keep your ears warm!”

“No… I don’t wanna be an animal. Animal costumes are for  _babies_.”

“Alright, no animals. How about a princess?”

“But Daddy, every girl goes as a princess. I wanna be something badass like Mommy.”

Erin’s head shot up immediately as she interrupted Jay and Maddie’s conversation. “Madeline Camille Halstead, where did you learn that word?”

“From Daddy,” the little girl shrugged. “He always says  _you’re_  a badass.”

Erin raised her eyebrow, smirking at her husband as she playfully swatted his VERY NICE ass. “Well Daddy shouldn’t be saying that word, and neither should you missy.”

“Hmmm, how about this one? What do you think babe?” Jay turned his attention back to the task at hand as he held the costume in his hand.

“I definitely think it’s what you’re looking for, Mads.” Erin replied enthusiastically.

“Yes! I love it!!”

* * *

“Okay, let’s get your costume on little man.” Jay brought Sam over to the changing table and quickly changed the baby’s diaper before reaching for the costume they had picked out earlier. The thick fleece would keep Sam nice and warm, but Jay still added a few layers just in case; he didn’t want to chance him getting cold. “You are the cutest little lion cub I’ve ever seen.” He kissed the baby’s chubby cheeks after he pulled the hood of the costume over Sam’s head before settling him on the floor to roam around.

Sam had started walking on his own a few weeks earlier and he was surprisingly steady on his feet. He would topple over here and there, but for the most part he ran around wildly with his little friends at daycare. Jay watched him toddle around his room as he tried to adjust to the thickness of his costume and when Sam fell on his bottom, Jay couldn’t help but laugh.

He helped Sam back onto his feet and held his hands as they slowly walked down the stairs to wait on everyone else. Jay was already in ‘costume,’ opting to dress as a police officer. Erin thought it was super cheesy, but he knew she couldn’t keep her hands off of him when he wore his uniform. Ben was the next one ready, pulling on his brown combat boots that were purchased specially for Halloween to complete his ‘army guy’ uniform; Erin had even stitched HALSTEAD to the right side of the costume. Zach came running down the stairs, attempting to stay in character as he hid behind the couch.

“Wow, I thought I just saw a ninja in the house. But I guess it must’ve been my imagination.” Jay declared with a smile on his face as Zach popped out from behind the couch. “Oh, so I did see a ninja!”

Maddie followed closely behind her brother in her Wonder Woman costume, complete with the shield and sword. “That’s definitely a badass costume, Mads.” Jay winked at his little girl and she giggled at him before joining her brothers at the front door.

“What did you just say there mister?” Erin emerged from kitchen, giving Jay a pointed look. She wore a black toque on her head and was wearing black from head to toe. She had smudged a line of black eye paint on both of her cheeks, completing her bandit look.

“Uhh, I was just, you know, saying that the kids all look great.  _Amazing_. Just like their mom.”

“Uh-huh, suuuuuure.” Erin laughed, shaking her head at Jay’s terrible lie. “I need to get some pictures.” Once the children were all posed at the front door, baskets in their hands and smiles on their faces, Jay and Erin both whipped out their cell phones to take pictures.

“Daddy can we go now?!” Maddie whined impatiently.

“Yes, we can go.” A chorus of ‘yay’ broke out as the kids opened the door and ran outside. “Don’t leave the sidewalk!” Jay called out as he forced his feet into his boots.

“You know… since I’m a robber, you might have to arrest me later…” Erin said boldly, leaning into Jay’s side and staring at him with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

“Yeah? Might just have to take you up on that offer.” Settling his hands on Erin’s waist, he pulled her closer for a kiss. Jay felt Erin smile against his lips when they heard a small giggle from beside them, and when they looked down, their youngest was grinning from ear-to-ear. “Okay little man, you ready for your first time trick-or-treating?” He kissed Erin again before picking Sam up and carrying him out the door to join the three older children that were already bouncing around, unable to contain their excitement.

* * *

About an hour later, the kids’ baskets were filling up with delicious sweets. Ben, Zach and Maddie ran ahead of Jay as he carried Sam from house to house, only putting him down to let him walk the last few steps up to the doors. Sam couldn’t really say trick-or-treat yet, even after Jay and Erin had coached him all week, so he would just smile and watch people put candy into his bucket, then reach up for his father, wanting to be carried again. It wasn’t long before the little boy was sound asleep in Jay’s arms. Jay was glad Erin had decided to feed him dinner before leaving the house earlier; he knew Sam would be going straight to bed the second they got home.

The other children seemed to have endless energy; it actually seemed like every house they visited gave them more energy to continue. However, Maddie couldn’t quite keep up with her big brothers, and half an hour after Sam had fallen asleep, Maddie was the next one to clunk out against Jay’s other shoulder. He gently rocked both children as they slept, watching Ben and Zach continuing to every possible house. When it finally got too dark, Jay told them it was time to head home and eat dinner, much to the boys’ disappointment.

* * *

“I got more candy than you!” Ben yelled competitively at his little brother.

“No you didn’t! There’s just more packaging that’s taking up all the space.” Zach countered.

“Boys, stop fighting. You both got the same amount of candy. Now please put your baskets on the table so either Mom or I can check out your candy.” Jay had put Sam right to bed when they got home, and now he was seated beside Erin at the table, sleeves rolled up and ready to inspect the kids’ candy haul.

“What are you lookin’ for ?” Zach asked curiously.

“Well, some people do bad things on Halloween and tamper with the candy they give out. We just have to check to make sure it’s safe for you to eat.”

“Oh okay. Can we eat it all tonight?”

“No you can’t eat it  _all_ tonight!” Jay chuckled. “How about you eat dinner first and then you can each have two pieces of candy before bed, okay?”

* * *

“So how was trick-or-treating?” Erin asked Jay as they made their way to the bedroom after tucking in the kids for the night.

“It was great. The kids were really good. And Sam was adorable. He tried to walk up to every door but never actually managed to say trick or trick.” Jay laughed, closing their bedroom door behind them.

“You know,” Erin dropped her voice lower, “I think I definitely deserve  _my_  treat now.” She walked over to Jay and started slowly unbuttoning his uniform shirt.

“Oh really? Well I was actually thinking maybe I could give you a few  _tricks_ instead.” Jay replied with a devilish smirk, throwing Erin on their bed and climbing on top of her.

 


	13. Chapter 13

“Ben, can you please keep your little brother entertained while I get dinner started?” Jay asked as he rose from the couch. It had been raining all day, so Jay, Ben, and Sam had been hunkered down on the couch for the last couple hours playing video games while Erin took Zach and Maddie to their karate classes.

“Do I have to?” Ben groaned. “He’s so an—” The twelve-year-old stopped mid-word when he saw the stern look on his father’s face. “ _Fine_. Come on Sam, let’s play a different game.”

As Jay made his way upstairs from the rec room, he could faintly hear Ben talking to Sam. Less than ten minutes later, as Jay was chopping vegetables for a stir fry, the basement door flew open and Sam came running into the kitchen as fast as his little legs could carry him, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Daddyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!” The little boy wailed as he threw himself against his father’s legs.

Jay immediately bent down and scooped his youngest child up into his arms, using his right hand to try to wipe the tears from Sam’s face. “What’s wrong buddy? What happened?”

“B-B-Ben scared me!!” Sam buried his face in Jay’s chest as he cried even harder.

Jay stormed over to the open basement door and shouted down the stairs. “Benjamin Henry Halstead, get up here, right now!”

A moment later Ben shuffled upstairs and into the kitchen. “What?”

“Don’t ‘ _what_ ’ me, what did you say to Sam?”

“I just told him a story.” Ben shrugged.

“What kind of story?”

“I told him about the Boogeyman and how he gets little kids for being annoying.”

“Ben are you kidding me?!” Jay was still holding onto Sam who had his daddy’s shirt tightly fisted in his little hands. “He’s only three years old!”

“Whatever, he’s just being a little baby.”

“He is a baby! You know what, go to your room and finish your homework.” As Ben stomped up the stairs to his bedroom, Jay continued to rub his hand up and down Sam’s back to try to calm him down.

“Daddy…” Sam sniffled as he wiped his nose on Jay’s shirt.

Jay ran his hand through Sam’s dark blond curls. “Yeah little man?”

“I’m not a baby, I’m a big boy.”

“Well you’re still  _my_  baby.” Jay kissed his forehead and set Sam on the counter beside the cutting board. “Can you help me get dinner ready?” The little boy nodded his head. “You can pass me the vegetables, okay?”

* * *

Later that night, Sam seemed quieter than usual as they went through the kids’ bedtime routine. He snuggled extra close in Erin’s lap while Jay read ‘ _The Very Hungry Caterpillar_ ,’ but seemed totally normal when they tucked him in and said good night.

But it wasn’t long after Jay and Erin had gone to sleep that they heard cries coming from across the hall. “I’ve got it,” Jay grumbled to Erin as he rolled out of bed, making his way to Sam’s bedroom, knowing exactly what was wrong.

When Jay flicked on the light, he saw his little boy sitting up in bed, his cheeks soaked with tears.

“Daddy!” Sam reached his arms up towards Jay.

In a matter of seconds Jay was sitting on Sam’s bed with the toddler in his lap. He wrapped his arms around him and starting rocking back and forth, hoping to calm Sam down. “What’s wrong Sammy?” Jay’s words were muffled by Sam’s hair as he kissed the little boy’s head.

“I’m s-scared Daddy!” Sam’s whole body shook as he spoke. “The m-monster’s gonna get m-me.”

“Shhh, buddy, there’s no monsters here. Ben was just trying to scare you.”

“But I s-saw him, in my dream.”

“I promise there are no monsters buddy. But how about you come sleep with Mommy and Daddy tonight?” Sam nodded against his father’s shoulder. Jay grabbed Sam’s favourite teddy bear and carried him towards the master bedroom. “Remember we need to be quiet so Mommy doesn’t wake up.” Jay whispered.

As soon as Jay set Sam down on the bed and got comfortable under the sheets, he felt Sam’s smaller hands hold onto his larger one. When he looked over to his youngest son, he noticed that Sam was already snuggled up against his mother. The toddler’s movements woke Erin, who immediately looked over at Jay, as though silently asking why there was a child in their bed.

“Nightmares. He thinks there’s a monster in his room.” Jay mumbled as he settled next to them, wrapping his arms around both Erin and Sam as the trio fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

Sam was so afraid of monsters lurking in his bedroom that he ended up spending the next several nights sleeping in his parents’ bed. At first they tried to tuck him into his own bed, but sure enough, either Jay or Erin would wake up to his crying at some point during the night. Sharing their bed with a sweaty toddler tossing and turning all night was cramping their style. Jay and Erin both knew they needed to put a stop to it, but at the same time, they knew how important it was for Sam to feel safe and secure.

“Erin, we need to get Sam back into his own damn bed. Tonight. The kid kicked me in the groin last night!” Jay grumbled as he and Erin cleaned up the kitchen from dinner.

“I know babe, but how?” Erin sighed. “It’s almost been a week and he’s still so terrified from that stupid story.” She put the last few dishes back into the cupboard before moving behind Jay to wrap her arms around him and rest her head between his shoulder blades.

Jay sighed. “I don’t know. I guess we just need to get him to realize that there’s absolutely nothing to be afraid of in his bedroom. Actually, you know what, I think I have an idea. I’m going to go try something.” Jay turned around in Erin’s arms and kissed the side of her head before heading upstairs.

Ben and Zach were reading in their rooms on the third floor, and after a quick stop in the master bedroom, Jay found Sam in Maddie’s room where she was reading to him.

“Hey Sam, it’s time to get ready for bed.” Jay stood in the doorway and motioned for his youngest to come with him. “Maddie, Mommy and I will be in to say goodnight in a little while, okay sweetheart?”

Jay led Sam into his bedroom next door and helped the little boy into his pajamas. When Jay lifted Sam up onto his bed, a look of fear washed across his face. “Daddy, can I sleep with you and Mommy?”

Jay crouched down in front of his son. “You know what buddy, I think you can sleep in here tonight, you’re a big boy, remember?”

“But what about the monster?”

“I told you buddy, there are no monsters here. But how about we check together and make sure, okay?” Jay reached into his pocket and pulled out his badge that he’d retrieved from the safe in the master bedroom, placing the shield in his little boy’s hand. “See that Sam? That’s Daddy’s badge. It’s my job to keep you safe. I  _promise_ no monsters will get you, okay buddy?”

Sam nodded slowly.

Jay set his badge on Sam’s bedside table and grabbed the little boy’s hand. “Come on, you can be my backup and help me clear your room, okay?”

Sam nodded again, a hint of a smile on his face as he hopped off the bed and followed his father around the room. Together they checked the closet, under the bed, behind the curtains, and any other place potential monsters could be hiding.

“See, what did Daddy tell you?” Jay laughed as he pulled Sam up into his arms and started tickling him.

“No monsters!” Sam giggled.

“Okay, bedtime for Sammy!” Erin announced as she walked into Sam’s room, smiling at the sight of Jay and their youngest laughing together.

Jay put Sam down in his bed before pulling the blankets up over his little body. He kissed Sam’s forehead and moved out of the way to let Erin get her goodnight kiss in.

“We love you baby,” Erin whispered as she brushed her fingers through Sam’s hair. “Good night.”

Jay flicked off the light as he made his way to the hallway and waited for Erin follow him out before closing the door quietly behind them.

“Thank God.” The both said in unison.


	14. Chapter 14

Jay and Erin’s life was thrown off-balance when their two oldest children left home. Ben was following in his father’s footsteps in the military, and Zach had recently started at Vanderbilt to major in biomedical engineering. Ben had moved out a few weeks after his eighteenth birthday, and although he had been gone for over a year, the empty feeling never left his parents. It became even more difficult when Zach got on a plane to Nashville three months earlier.

Fortunately the two youngest Halsteads were still keeping their parents on their toes. Ten-year-old Sam was always busy with travel hockey, band practice, science club, and another new activity almost every week. At fifteen, Maddie was just starting to think about what she wanted to do with her life—except plans seemed to change every week. Two weeks ago, she was sure that she was going to be a doctor like her Uncle Will and Aunt Natalie, but now she wanted to be a detective like her parents.

One Wednesday morning, Jay made his way down towards the kitchen after showering. Sam was under the weather and was still asleep in bed, while Maddie ate breakfast with Erin. Jay stopped dead in his tracks—feeling like he had been punched in the gut—as he heard the girls’ conversation.

“…and he’s really cute and sweet. I  _really_ like him Mom.” Maddie’s voice was full of excitement and Jay could just picture the smile on his baby girl’s face. “He asked me to go out with him on Friday night, can I go? Please?”

“You know I’ll need to talk about this with Dad.”

Maddie sighed dramatically at her mother’s words. “Ugh, why do you guys have to do everything  _together_? It’s just a movie, it’s not a big deal. You know Dad’s totally going to lose his shit when he hears about this.”

“Well you’re right about that, Dad is losing his shit right now.” Jay quickly turned the corner and joined his wife and daughter in the kitchen. Maddie looked like a deer in headlights. “Dad is losing his shit  _big time_.”

Maddie quickly looked at her mom, hoping Erin would come to her defense.

“Um, Maddie why don’t you go get your stuff from your room and finish getting ready for school? The bus will be here soon.” Erin suggested in an attempt to defuse some of the tension in the room.

“Ugh  _fiiiine_ ,” Maddie’s words were punctuated by a dramatic roll of her eyes before she stormed out of the kitchen and up the stairs to her bedroom.

“A boy?!” Jay exclaimed the second Maddie was out of sight. “Erin, she’s only  _fifteen_! She’s just a baby! There’s no way in hell she’s going out on a date.”

“Jay, relax.” Erin walked up to her husband and placed a comforting hand on his chest.

“How am I supposed to relax when my baby girl is talking about dating?! Ben and Zach didn’t go on dates at fifteen! She’s not going, there’s no way!”

“Jay.” Erin began carefully, reaching up to hold his face in her hands, forcing him to look her in the eyes. “Babe, she’s not a baby, she’s growing up whether we like it or not. Besides, it’s just a movie, I did a  _hell_ of a lot worse when I was fifteen.”

“That doesn’t exactly reassure me, Erin.”

“Well you’re gonna have to put your personal feelings aside. She’ll never come to us with anything if we straight up say no to something she really wants.”

Jay reluctantly nodded. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Aren’t I always?” Erin grinned, popping up on her tiptoes to give Jay a quick kiss.

* * *

When Friday night rolled around, Maddie was buzzing with excitement. Erin had ducked out of work early to help her daughter get ready for her big date; helping with hair and makeup and giving the inevitable lecture about being safe. Jay had been out on a raid with the team all afternoon and was out in the garage, busy putting his gear away.

Around seven o’clock, Jay heard a car pull into the driveway; the sound of the car’s engine humming distracted him from cleaning his gun. When the car door opened a moment later, a teenage boy stepped out, walking toward the house—and consequently—the garage.

“You know, fifteen-year-olds can’t drive without someone with a valid driver’s license in the passenger seat.” Jay said as a way of greeting as he adjusted the holster around his thigh.

“Actually I’m sixteen. I’ll be seventeen in a few weeks.”

“Hmm.” Jay bit his lip to try to hold back the rising panic at the thought of Maddie going out with an  _older_ boy. “What’s your name?”

“Why? So you can run a background check on me or something?” Jay shot the teenager a pointed look. “Chad.”

Jay stepped closer to the boy, towering over him. “Well, Chad, is there a  _reason_ I should be running a background check on you?”

“Not yet,” Chad replied quickly, not intimidated by Jay at all. “I’m gonna go get Maddie now.”

“Watch yourself.” Jay watched Chad walk up to the front door before ringing the doorbell. He could hear Erin’s excited voice on the other side.

It wasn’t long before Maddie and Chad were walking back down the driveway hand-in-hand with matching smiles on their faces, with Erin following closely behind. Chad shot a smug look in Jay’s direction before turning towards his car.

“Maddie. Come give your old man a hug before you go.” Reluctantly, Maddie let go of Chad’s hand and walked over to where Jay was standing. “Be careful, okay?”

“Relax, Dad. It’s just a movie.” Pulling away from Jay, she made her way over to the passenger side of the car.

“Curfew’s at 7:30!”

“ _Jay_!” Erin scolded, rolling her eyes before smiling at the teenagers, “Be back by 11. Have fun!”

* * *

“So what movie are we gonna see?” Maddie asked as she shifted her gaze from the window over to Chad.

“Actually I thought we could drop by a friend’s house. Everyone’s meeting up for a bit.”

“Okayyyyy,” Maddie dragged out the word. “As long as I’m home on time and we still see the movie I guess that’s cool.”

* * *

“Babe, Maddie has never given us any reason not to trust her.” Erin was busy cleaning up the table from dinner. Sam had gone to the basement to watch a movie. Jay was supposed to be helping Erin, but he was having a hard time focusing on anything but the idea of his baby girl out on a date.

“It’s not her I don’t trust, it’s  _him_. I was a teenage boy once…I know what they’re after.”

“And what’s that?”

“Sex, Erin. That’s all they think about. Not to mention the attitude he gave me! Who does that kid think he is?”

“A teenage boy?”

“I don’t like him.”

“Will you ever like any boy Maddie brings around?”

“No, but I  _really_ don’t like this kid.”

“He seemed sweet. He was perfectly polite when he came to the door.”

Jay scoffed. “He was a total asshole out in the garage.”

“Babe, you need to relax.”

“No, I need to ping their phones and figure out where they are.”

“And what good would that do?”

“Then I can tail them.” Jay said, snapping his fingers. “I can do it from my computer upstairs.”

Erin sighed, rolling her eyes at her husband for what was probably the hundredth time that evening. “No, you need to focus on something else. Go downstairs and watch that movie with Sam, Maddie will be home in a couple of hours. Everything will be fine.”

“Fine.” Jay grumbled as he left the kitchen and made his way down to the basement. “If she isn’t home by exactly eleven she’s never allowed out of this house again. And Chad—don’t even get me started. Let’s just say it’s a good thing I cleaned my rifle earlier.”

* * *

“Hey Chad, are we leaving soon?” Maddie asked from her perch on the edge of the couch. “If we’re gonna make a movie tonight we really gotta get going…”

Chad ignored her questions, instead pushing a joint in her face. “Here take a puff.”

“Um. N-no. I’m good, thanks. Can you just take me home?”

“I’m too drunk, you should have a drink? You’re so tense.” Chad grabbed a beer and shoved the bottle towards Maddie’s chest. “It’s good, trust me.”

“I-I think I’m just gonna go home.” Maddie quickly rose from the couch and walked out the front door. She had no idea where she was, so she knew there was no way she could walk home, especially alone. When she switched on her phone screen, she noticed that it was even later than she thought—it was already 10:30, close to curfew.

“Maddie!” Chad’s slurred voice broke her out of her trance and when she looked towards the front door, she noticed him doubled over, throwing up in a bush. “Where ya going? Come back!”

“I’m going home, Chad.” Quickly pressing a number on her speed dial, Maddie walked toward the corner and sat down on the curb.

“Hello? Maddie, is everything okay?”

Maddie’s voice shook, “N-no, can you come get me?”

“Okay I’m coming, which movie theatre are you at?”

“Um, I’m at someone’s house. I’m sitting on the corner of North Dearborn and West Burton.”

“Sit tight, I’m on my way, I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Jay saw his daughter huddled up on the curb and screeched the SUV to a stop. “Maddie! What happened?” He exclaimed as he jumped out of the vehicle.

At the sight of her father, Maddie broke down, flinging herself into his arms as she cried.

Jay held Maddie close, running his hand through her hair as she bawled against his chest, his heart breaking for her. “Shhh, let’s get you in the car, okay?” He opened the door and ushered Maddie into the passenger seat. “I’m going in there. I’ll be right back.”

Maddie shook her head, reaching out to stop him. “No Dad, I just want to go home, please?”

Jay sighed. As much as he wanted to go inside and give Chad a piece of his mind, he couldn’t say no to his little girl, especially when she was so upset. “Okay… okay, let’s go home.”

They drove the first few blocks in silence. Jay glanced over at Maddie every few seconds, but her gaze remained focused out the passenger window.

“Hey Mads—why do chicken coops only have two doors?”

Maddie turned toward Jay, a look of confusion on her face. “What? I don’t know?”

“Because if they had four it would be a chicken sedan.” Despite the circumstances, Jay’s face split into a wide grin. Maddie rolled her eyes—she was certainly her mother’s daughter—but Jay noticed a small smile pulling at her lips. “Oh c’mon that was funny and you know it.”

“It wasn’t  _that_ funny.”

“Oh really? Okay how about this—if prisoners could take their own mug shots, they’d be called  _cellfies_. Get it? Because they’re in cells! It’s like a  _selfie_ but in a prison cell!”

Maddie looked at her father with wide eyes. “Okay, the first one was better, that wasn’t funny  _at all_.”

“Well that smile on your face tells me otherwise.” Jay chuckled. They fell silent again for a moment until Jay spoke. “So, uh, what happened back there?”

“Chad was a dick.” Maddie hesitated for a moment before continuing, “I don’t know Dad, I guess you were right. I’m not ready for this whole dating thing after all.”

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I know how excited you were, I hate that your special night ended like this. But you’re wrong. As much as it pains me to admit, you are absolutely ready to date. Chad was just… he wasn’t the right guy.”

“You really think so?”

“Oh definitely. It just takes time. You’re an amazing girl Maddie Halstead, your mom and I are so proud of you.”

“Thanks Dad. It just seems like it’s gonna take forever to find the right guy.”

“Well, look at your mom and me—it took us a while to find each other.”

“So it’s gonna take me  _that_ long to find someone? You guys were so old!”

“Hey!” Jay feigned offense as he pulled the SUV into the driveway. He turned off the vehicle and turned to face Maddie. “Maddie I’m not saying that, I’m just saying that you just shouldn’t rush it. Be patient. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen.”

“Yeah. I guess so.” Maddie shrugged.

Jay waited for Maddie to walk around the SUV, his arm held out to her. The moment she reached his side, Jay wrapped his arm around his daughter and pressed a kiss against the top of her head. “I love you so much kiddo. I promise everything will work out.”

“I love you too, Dad. Thanks for everything.”

“Of course. You call me, I’m there, no matter what. No matter how old you get you’ll always be my little girl.” Jay hugged Maddie tighter and kissed her forehead. “Okay it’s late, let’s get you to bed.”


	15. Chapter 15

“Dr. Halstead, Dr. Manning, treatment two.” Maggie directed the two doctors as paramedics wheeled another patient into the ED; a late-summer heat wave had hit Chicago and was sending the hospital into chaos. Most patients were dehydrated and in need of IV fluids, but there were some extreme cases of heat stroke and other ailments keeping the ED staff on their toes.

“25-year-old male. BP 135/89, temperature 104, headache and abdominal pain onset two days ago. Collapsed in his bathroom and hit his head.”

Will placed his fingers on the conscious man’s radial pulse as the paramedics turned the gurney into the treatment room.

While Will checked the patient’s pulse rate and helped paramedics transfer him to the bed, Natalie handled introductions and asked about symptoms: “So Michael, how long have you been experiencing these pains?”

“It’s been two days, I think. Maybe three. Just feeling kinda sick.”

“Any other symptoms?” Will asked as he felt the man’s lymph nodes for swelling.

“I’ve just been really tired lately. Been sleeping a lot. I threw up a couple times yesterday but I assumed that I had food poisoning.”

“Travel anywhere recently?” Will turned Michael’s head towards him and checked both pupils for reactivity.

“Bro, I was just volunteering in Sierra Leone. Got back like five days ago.”

As Will put his pen light back in the front pocket of his scrubs, his eyes met Natalie’s and from the worried look on her face, he knew she came to the same conclusion.

* * *

When Jay got the call from Med, he had been sitting at his desk typing his report from the arrest earlier that day. Unfortunately the recent heat wave seemed to make the residents of Chicago even more aggressive than usual, so Intelligence had been working overtime to keep them off the streets. With the heavy caseload and Erin still on maternity leave, Antonio had called up Detective Hailey Upton from Robbery-Homicide to join the unit; they needed all the extra help they could get.

“Halstead.”

“Jay, it’s Maggie Lockwood.”

Adrenaline was instantly coursing through his body. “What’s wrong? Did something happen with one of the kids? Or Erin?” Jay felt the panic rising at even the thought of something happening to his family.

“Will and Natalie are in quarantine. They need you to watch the kids.”

“What? Quarantine?! What the hell happened!?”

“A patient just returned from Sierra Leone, and all of the symptoms he’s exhibiting are pointing to ebola. Unfortunately they may have been exposed, so while we wait for the test results to come back, they need you and Erin to take the kids.”

“ _Ebola_?! Is this some kind of sick joke?”

“Wish it was, honey. They just told me to let you know they called Owen’s school and let them know you’d be picking him up early, and Zoey is still at the daycare here. I’ll see you in a bit.”

* * *

Jay apologized profusely to Antonio and somehow managed to duck out of the bullpen early that day. He had to drive clear across the city to get Owen from his private school; once they were loaded in the SUV, Jay and Owen headed to Med to pick up baby Zoey from the hospital’s daycare facility. Jay fielded countless questions from the twelve-year-old on the way, but fortunately his nephew was so excited at the prospect of spending the night with his cousins that he quickly accepted Jay’s vague explanation of where his parents were.

As they walked into the ED, Maggie caught Jay’s eye, waving him over. Maggie was more than happy to watch her little buddy Owen at the nurse’s station while Jay went to the daycare to pick up Zoey. Jay immediately spotted the seven-month-old sitting on the rug as he walked in, playing with some soft toys.

“Hey Zo-Zo!” Jay called out to his niece. He beamed when she smiled back at him, reaching her chubby little arms towards him, as though to ask him to pick her up. Jay happily obliged, lifting the baby up off the floor and into his arms. He blew raspberries on her chubby cheeks and tickled her belly. “How you doin’ little miss?” Zoey gave him a gummy grin and babbled incoherently in response. “Oh really, that good?” Jay walked over towards the cubbies, grabbing her things before signing her out.

When he made his way back to the ED, he spotted Owen standing with Maggie talking with Will and Natalie through the glass.

“Dadadadadadada!” Zoey squealed as she caught sight of Will, oblivious to the worried look on his face. She slammed her hands against the glass door, desperately trying to get her father’s attention.

“Hey baby!” Will smiled, pressing his palm against the glass where Zoey’s smaller palm was resting, trying to get as close to his baby daughter as possible.

Natalie had been talking to Owen about his day, but soon Zoey was calling for her as well. “Hi Zoey! You be a good girl for Uncle Jay and Auntie Erin, okay? Mama loves you baby girl!”

At Natalie’s words, Jay gave them each a worried look before turning away from his brother and sister-in-law. As soon as Will and Nat were out of sight, Zoey started to fuss; tears pooled in her brown eyes before she broke out in a full-on meltdown. Jay tried his best to comfort her by bouncing her up and down in his arms and pulling all kinds funny faces, but nothing seemed to calm the baby down. She stretched her little arms back in the direction of her parents, but as they walked out the doors of the ED, she turned to Jay and muffled her cries against his chest.

“Hey Zo-Zo, you’re okay,” Jay cooed, pressing kisses against the crying baby’s forehead as he ran his palm up and down her back to soothe her.

Owen led the way out to the parking lot, while Zoey settled against her uncle’s shoulder with a big sigh. Jay buckled her into the car seat before gently wiping the tears from her cheeks. Once they were all loaded up in the SUV, the trio made the short drive from Med over to Will and Natalie’s house. Jay took the kids inside, with Owen entertaining the baby so he could run upstairs and grab some fresh clothes and a few special toys for his niece and nephew.

* * *

As Jay pulled into the driveway at home, it suddenly dawned on him that he hadn’t even had a chance to call Erin and let her know he’d be bringing Owen and Zoey home with him. Of course like him, she wouldn’t hesitate to help Will and Natalie, but he felt incredibly guilty that he hadn’t at least given her a heads-up. The moment he opened the front door and stepped inside, he heard Erin’s questioning voice calling out to him. “Jay? Is that you?”

“Yeah babe, it’s me.”

“What are you doing home so early?” Erin asked as she made her way out of the kitchen, following the sound of Jay’s voice into the foyer. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw they had company. “Um, hi Owen, what are you doing here?”

“Hi Aunt Erin, Uncle Jay said we’re having a sleepover!”

“Wow, that sounds fun buddy! I need to talk to your Uncle Jay for a minute, how about you go into the kitchen and I’ll be right in to get you something to eat.” The two adults watched Owen make his way towards the kitchen, and as soon as the boy was out of earshot, Erin spoke again: “Sooooooo babe, what the hell is going on?!”

“Erin! Little ears!” Jay scolded, nodding his head at baby Zoey, once again snuggled in his arms.

Erin rolled her eyes, “Jay, she’s not old enough to understand.”

“Ben wasn’t much older than Zoey when he dropped the d-a-m-n word. Not like you’ve ever let me forget that…”

“Okay, fair enough.” Erin’s cheeks reddened at the thought. “What’s going on?”

“Will and Nat were potentially exposed to ebola today, they needed us to take the kids.”

“Oh fu—I mean,  _oh boy_ , that’s intense. How long?”

“They’re in quarantine until at least tomorrow. Maggie told me they have to stay isolated until they get the results back from the lab, but Will promised to keep me posted with any updates.”

“Oh God. Hopefully everything is okay.” Erin ran her hand through her hair in frustration. “But babe it’ll be so crazy! We’re going to have so many kids running around!”

“Well only four of them can actually run around, the other two can’t even crawl yet.” Jay chuckled as he bounced Zoey in his arms, eliciting a giggle from the little girl.

“ _Five_  kids Jay. Maddie is having a sleepover tonight, remember?”

“Shit.”

“What happened to little ears?” Erin smirked.

“Well in this case it’s perfectly valid. Here, I need to go pick up the kids.” Jay handed baby Zoey over to Erin before quickly pressing his lips against hers and dashing out the door again.

The moment the door closed, Erin heard Sam’s cries ring out through the baby monitor in her hand. She sighed before shifting Zoey on her hip and running up the stairs to the nursery. “Let the fun begin.”

* * *

Owen had just started eating his snack when the front door flew open and the other children ran into the house.

Five-year-old Maddie came barrelling into the kitchen, her best friend Blake right on her heels. “Mommy!” The little girl flung her arms around her mother’s waist. “Daddy said Owen and Zoey are sleeping over tonight too!”

“Hey baby,” Erin crouched down to kiss the top of her daughter’s head. “Yep, Daddy’s right, it’ll be a lot of… fun. Hi Blake.”

“Hi Mrs. Halstead.”

“Okay girls, go wash up for your snack and then you can go play.”

It wasn’t long before all five kids were seated around the dinner table, quietly munching on peanut butter boats and apple slices. While the big kids ate their snack, Jay settled Zoey on his lap as he fed her banana slices, trying his best to keep the food in her mouth and not all over her face and his clothes.

“Mom can we go play now?” Nine-year-old Ben asked impatiently.

“Yeah can we? Please?” Zach piped up from his seat. Ben and Zach both idolized their cousin Owen, so they were anxious to start the fun.

“Sure, just put your dishes away by the sink first.” All three boys quickly put their plates where asked before charging down the stairs to the family rec room.

After another ten minutes, the girls had finished up and were running up towards Maddie’s room, leaving Jay and Erin alone with the babies.

“You see, this isn’t too hard. Are you sure you don’t want more kids?” Jay asked as he cleaned Zoey’s face.

“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that.” Erin grabbed Sam’s baby blanket and draped it over her shoulder. She gently pulled Sam from the sling wrapped around her torso, settling into one of the vacated chairs to nurse. “Just wait until bedtime.”

* * *

The next few hours passed relatively uneventfully. Maddie and Blake were upstairs in her room, while Owen, Ben, and Zach had a Mario Kart marathon in the rec room. Jay and Erin kept the babies occupied in the living room; Erin and Zoey were playing with stuffed animals on the floor, while newborn Sam snoozed in his father’s arms on the couch. They corralled the army of children at the kitchen table for pizza, and the entire group piled in front of Jay’s beloved flat screen in the basement to watch a movie.

And just when it seemed like maybe Jay was right, that even  _seven_ children weren’t a match for Jay and Erin Halstead, bedtime happened.

Suddenly Ben and Zach were fighting over whose room Owen would sleep in (Jay stepped in when fists were about to fly; they agreed to all camp out in Ben’s room together), Maddie and Blake wanted to read about a hundred stories before bed (Erin put her foot down at six), and it took what felt like hours for baby Zoey to settle. It was after one o’clock in the morning when Jay and Erin  _finally_ got all seven children to bed. Just as they were getting comfortable in their own bed, Zoey started wailing from Sam’s nursery.

“Mamaaaaaaaaaaa! Dadaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

Zoey’s loud cries emanated through the baby monitor, rustling Sam awake. Erin watched him squirm in his bassinet before he too let out a loud cry.

“I got her, you get Sam.” Jay threw the covers off himself before turning off the monitor and heading towards the nursery. There, he found a red-faced Zoey standing up in the pack-and-play—holding the railing at the top—with tears rolling down her cheeks. Jay picked up the baby and cuddled her into his chest as he bounced her in his arms. “Shh, you’re okay.”

Zoey squirmed in Jay’s arms, fussing to get out of his hold as she continued to cry.

With the baby in his arms, he sat down in the glider in the corner of Sam’s room and pulled out his phone. Zoey readjusted herself and tried to get as comfortable as possible against her uncle’s chest, but her crying barely ceased.

_**Jay** : You two still awake?_

_**Will** : Yes, everything okay with the kids?_

_**Jay** : Zoey’s fussing, I think she misses you guys._

Moments after Jay’s last text, his phone buzzed with an invitation to FaceTime. Jay quickly accepted and soon both Will and Natalie—still in their maroon hospital scrubs and looking completely exhausted—appeared on the screen.

“Zoey, look!” Jay pointed at the screen, trying to get the baby to look at it. Zoey’s cries faded to sniffles as she rested her head against Jay’s shoulder. “Look Zo-Zo, who’s that?”

As soon as Zoey looked at the screen, recognition washed over her and a toothless smile appeared on her face. “Mamamamama!”

“Hi Zoey baby!” Natalie cooed, waving at her daughter. She grinned as Zoey waved back, pausing to wipe the tears from her eyes at the sight of the distraught baby.

“Hey Zoey!” Will chimed in. “Did Uncle Jay make you cry?”

Jay just rolled his eyes, continuing to bounce his niece on his knee as she was entranced by the sight of her parents on his cell phone.

“Dadadadadada!”

“We miss you sweetheart. Mommy and Daddy will see you really soon baby!” Will continued, blowing kisses at Zoey.

“Have you guys heard anything back from the lab?” Jay asked as the baby squirmed in his lap, reaching out for his phone.

“Neither of us have shown any symptoms, and the preliminary lab results show negative, but we still need to wait for confirmation from the CDC. As of right now though, it’s looking like we should be good to get the kids in the morning.”

“Sounds good, man. Just shoot me a text and let me know when you know for sure. I think I’m gonna try to get Zoey back to sleep. Night.”

“Goodnight, Zoey.” Both Will and Natalie said simultaneously.  

By the time they had ended the call, Zoey’s eyelids were drooping, and it was clear that she was beyond exhausted. Jay held her close, letting her snuggle against his chest as he ran his fingers through the reddish peach fuzz hair on her head, slowly lulling her to sleep. They sat there for a while until Jay was certain that Zoey was sound asleep. He carefully rose from the chair and placed the baby back in the pack and play, rubbing her back for a few seconds to keep her sleeping before tiptoeing out of the nursery and down the hall to the master bedroom.

Erin—awake feeding Sam again—chuckled as Jay flopped onto the bed beside her. “So easy huh?”

Jay grunted in response, his voice muffled by the pillow he had buried his face in.

“You’re right, we should  _totally_ have another kid.”

“No fucking way.” Jay replied as he picked his head up and off the pillow, shooting Erin a look. “Four is enough. I’ve never been so thankful for my vasectomy.”


	16. Chapter 16

Jay was absolutely mesmerized as he watched Erin dress their newborn son in a small white onesie; the gentle way she cared for Benjamin Henry Halstead blew him away. Jay had never laid his eyes on something so perfect; he hadn’t been able to tear his gaze away from them for even a minute.

Fresh off the night shift, Will and Natalie went directly to the maternity ward to see the newest member of the Halstead family. They said their hellos as Natalie rushed to Erin’s side and effortlessly scooped the newborn up into her arms. As she chatted with Erin, Will and Jay stood near the bed, their voices hushed as they spoke.

“He looks just like you did when you were a baby.” Will mentioned as he watched the little boy resting comfortably in Natalie’s arms. His eyes twinkled as he watched her snuggling with the newborn.

“Hmm?” Jay mumbled, looking in his brother’s direction. He had been so focused staring at his wife and son that he hadn’t been listening to Will’s words.

Will shook his head with a laugh, reaching over to clap his palm against brother’s shoulder. “I’ve never seen you this happy little brother.”

The permanent grin etched on Jay’s face somehow grew even larger with the knowledge that his happiness was written all over his face. He couldn’t hide it if he tried; his feelings about the new addition could only be described as bliss.

Natalie glanced over at the Halstead brothers with a smile, “Hey Will, you should hold him.”

“Um, uhhhh, what?” Will stuttered, somehow bewildered by her words.

“What do you mean  _what_? Hold your nephew!” Natalie took a few steps toward the men, shifting Ben’s position in her arms before carefully handing the baby off to his uncle.

“What’s your problem man, why are you holding him like that?!” Jay demanded, a slight edge to his voice as he saw Will’s tense grasp on the newborn. “You’re a damn doctor, you have held a baby before, haven’t you?!”

“Of course I have, it’s just… I don’t know, different?” Will began, the uncertainty in his voice matching his nervous actions. Jay didn’t give him a chance to continue, stepping forward and grabbing his son from his brother’s arms, cradling the baby protectively against his chest. “I just meant that I don’t usually have my brother staring me down like I just pissed in his cornflakes or something!”

“Well I wouldn’t be giving you that look if you were holding him properly!”

“I was holding him properly. Don’t be so damn uptight!”

“Whatever, at least I’m not—”

Natalie’s voice interrupted the brothers’ pissing match: “Hey Will, um… I think we should get out of here. We need to pick Owen up from the sitter, and I’m sure these guys want us out of their hair.” With that, they said their quick goodbyes and left Jay and Erin alone with baby Ben.

“ _Jay_ ,” Erin said his name slowly, giving him a pointed look as she folded her arms across her chest.

“What?! You saw how he was holding him!”

Erin rose from the bed and moved beside Jay, wrapping her arms around her husband and the newborn in his arms. “You need to relax babe. You can’t just pummel everyone who wants to hold Ben. And if they hold him a different way, that’s okay.”

“Of course I ca—” Jay stopped as soon as he saw the look on Erin’s face. “Okay, maybe not  _everyone_. But I can’t help it Erin, look at him. I just… I just want to protect him from everything, you know?”

“I know babe, me too.”

Jay shifted Ben to one side and pulled Erin toward him with his free arm. As she snuggled against his chest, he pressed a kiss against the top of her head. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For him. You and this little guy are the best things that ever happened to me.” Jay motioned towards the baby in his arm. They stood quietly for a few minutes, marvelling at their perfect little baby before Jay spoke again, “You ready to go?”

“I guess so,” Erin sighed. “Can’t we just stay here forever?”

“I wish we could babe, but we should go home and get settled. You know the guys will probably be dropping by soon.”

Erin sighed again, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She slowly pulled away from Jay, but continued to look over at the baby as she gathered her things from around the room.

Jay crouched down to carefully settle the newborn in his carseat. Ben stirred slightly but continued to sleep as his father ran a finger across the soft skin of the baby’s cheek.

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road.” Jay picked up Ben’s car seat at the exact moment that Maggie waltzed into the room, accompanied by a wheelchair for Erin.

“That is  _not_ happening,” Erin frowned, pointing at the chair with a look of disgust on her face. “I am perfectly capable of walking.”

“Babe…” Jay sighed as he glanced over at Maggie, the look on his face practically pleading with her to help him out.

Her voice was authoritative when she answered: “I’m sorry Erin, but it’s hospital policy.”

Erin pouted, but reluctantly settled herself into the waiting wheelchair. “It’s so not fair that you guys are ganging up on me.”

“We’re not ganging up on you, we just don’t want you to hurt yourself or anything like that. You just had a baby! You need to rest as much as possible.” Jay said, stating the obvious.

“Yes Jay, thank you for reminding me. I didn’t realize I just had a baby.” Erin rolled her eyes as Maggie started to push her toward the elevator.

As they rode the elevator down to the main level, Maggie peeked into the car seat and smiled at the newborn. “He’s absolutely adorable you guys.”

“Thanks, I think we’ll keep him,” Jay chuckled. Erin rolled her eyes as the elevator doors opened on the main level. After making their way through the lobby and out the door, Jay carefully settled the car seat beside Erin’s wheelchair. “I’ll go get the car.” He leaned in to give her a quick kiss, and Erin smiled as she watched Jay jog out into the parking lot; it wasn’t long before he had parked the Sierra in front of the hospital entrance. “Okay babe, let me just get Ben all safe and secure and then I’ll help you.”

Erin tried not to laugh as she watched Jay struggle with the car seat; it was adorable. His eyebrows were furrowed and his tongue was sticking between his teeth as he focused all of his attention on the clasps of the car seat. “Doing okay there, babe?”

“Ugh, this thing is so frust—nevermind, there we go! I got it!” Jay exclaimed triumphantly. “Okay, let’s get you in the car.” Jay turned around and positioned his arms under Erin’s knees and behind her back.

“Um Jay, what are you doing?!” Erin exclaimed, pressing her palms against his chest to push him away.

“I’m going to carry you.”

“Jay! No! I can walk fine.”

“But you’re supposed to be resting!” Jay leaned back down to try lift Erin again.

“Walking three steps isn’t going to kill me!” Erin pushed away Jay’s arms and stood up and away from the wheelchair. “ _Move_.”

“Wait, wait, wait. At least let me help you into the car.” Surprisingly, Erin relented, allowing Jay to grasp hold of her hand with one of his own and reach his other arm to rest at the small of her back, guiding her up into the passenger seat. “Comfortable, babe?”

“I would be more comfortable if you would stop fussing over me. Now let’s get out of here before you have an aneurysm.” Erin huffed.

Jay rolled his eyes at Erin before dashing around the Sierra and hopping up into the driver’s seat. He glanced back at their sleeping newborn at least a dozen times before he finally pulled away from the curb.

* * *

“Jay, you need to go  _faster_. This is ridiculous!” Erin criticised as she peeked over to the speedometer. “You’re going fifteen miles under the limit!”

“But Erin, the baby is in the car! I don’t want to jostle him. He’s so tiny, we have to be careful.”

“Jay. I love you, but if you don’t start driving faster we are pulling over and you’ll be back in the passenger seat.” Erin threatened.

“Okay, okay, fine.” Jay pressed his foot a little harder on the gas pedal, increasing their speed by a mere five miles an hour. “Happy?”

“You’re still going way too slow! You’re causing a traffic jam, look at the line-up behind us,” Erin motioned at the rearview mirror, where sure enough they could see at least a dozen vehicles on their tail.

“Well that’s too bad, because this is the fastest I’m willing to go with the baby in the car.”

Erin rolled her eyes and chuckled as she watched a pickup truck move onto the shoulder to try to pass. The driver rolled down his window and started gesturing angrily as he yelled at them. Jay’s brow furrowed with anger at the other driver, “What the fuck is with this guy?!”

“I  _told_ you, you need to go faster!”

“Oh yeah? Well I’ll show him.” Jay moved his right hand down and turned on the lights and sirens before looking back out the window; the truck driver looked like a deer in headlights. Jay grinned, waving at him for a second before returning his full attention to the road.

* * *

When the Halstead family finally arrived at their apartment, they were surprised that no one was waiting for them—especially considering Jay had extended the typically short drive between Med and their place to at least twenty-five minutes. Jay helped Erin get settled on the living room couch with Ben in her arms as he ran back down to the truck to gather the rest of their things. When he returned to the apartment, his gaze immediately landed on his wife and son.

“He’s absolutely perfect,” Erin murmured, leaning down to press her lips against the sleeping baby’s forehead.

Jay walked over to the couch and sat down next to Erin, his thumb running over the wisps of dark hair on Ben’s head. “Just like his mother.”

Their quiet family moment was soon interrupted by a knock at the door, followed by a familiar voice. “Yo Halstead! You in there?!”

“Adam! Be quiet!” Kim hissed.

“But what if they’re sleeping or something? I don’t want to wait out here forever.”

“You’re not supposed to wake up a sleeping baby, Adam! Besides, we can always come back another time if they are asleep!”

“Yeah, but—“ Ruzek’s question was cut short when the door swung open to reveal a very tired—and very annoyed—Jay Halstead. “Oh hey man!”

“Hey. Thanks for keeping it down out here. It’s not like we have a sleeping newborn or anything,” Jay grumbled, his voice laced with sarcasm. Despite his frustration, Jay held the door open for Ruzek, Kim, and Atwater to file into the apartment.

“Where is he? I wanna hold him!” Kim squealed, rubbing her hands together in excitement.

“Now who’s the loud one?” Ruzek huffed, only to be met with a stern look from his girlfriend that silenced him immediately.

The three men followed Kim into the living room where they all took a seat to admire baby Benjamin.

“How you feelin’ Linds?” Atwater asked, smiling at Erin as she effortlessly transferred Ben into Kim’s waiting arms.

“Just tired, but hopefully that will go away soon.”

“Keeping up with two Halstead boys? Hate to break it to you Lindsay, but you’re probably going to be tired forever!” Atwater chuckled at the look of dismay that washed across Erin’s face.

“Hey Kev, you want to hold him?” Kim asked as she stood up, leaning down to press a kiss on the newborn’s forehead. Everyone watched as they carefully passed the baby around. “Ugh you guys! He’s just so  _cute_.”

“Hey little man.” Kevin cooed at the now awake baby. “You going to help me keep your old man in line?”

“Hey!” Jay exclaimed, feigning offense at his friend’s words. Erin placed her palm on his chest in an effort to relax him.

“Okay, okay, stop hogging him Kev, it’s my turn!” Ruzek demanded, crossing the living room to stand in front of his partner, his arms outstretched and waiting for Ben to be handed over.

“Oh my God, Adam.  _Please_ be careful.” Kim insisted.

Jay quickly leapt up off of the couch, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute! What do you mean  _be careful_? What’s he going to do?!”

Kim hesitated for a moment before answering, “He uh, he’s never held a baby before.”

“What?! Nope, nuh-uh. No way!” Jay moved between Atwater and Ruzek, effectively preventing his son from being handed over.

“Jay!” Erin admonished. “He’ll be fine!”

Jay sighed dramatically. “Fine! But sit down first. I’ll hand him to you.”

Ruzek reluctantly flopped down on the couch beside Erin, “You know Halstead, I’m not a little kid.”

“Really? That’s news to me brother!” Atwater laughed.

“Real funny man.” Ruzek said with a straight face. “Now come on Halstead, give him to me before I come over there and grab him myself!”

Jay cautiously lifted Ben out of Kevin’s embrace and tentatively placed him in Ruzek’s waiting arms. “Make sure you support his head!”

”I  _am_ supporting his head, chill dude.” After a few minutes, Ben had miraculously fallen asleep in his Uncle Adam’s arms.

“Wow Adam, you’re a natural!” Erin marvelled, beaming at her friend.

Ruzek grinned with pride, “I’m like the baby whisperer. You ever need help, give me a call.”

“We’ll remember that when he’s screaming at the top of his lungs at three in the morning.”

* * *

About a week after the family of three returned from the hospital, they were still trying to adjust to a schedule. The baby’s cries woke Erin throughout the night for feedings, and whenever Erin so much as squirmed, Jay got up with her.

“You know, you don’t have to get up every time babe,” Erin told him, exhaustion evident in her voice. Her eyes fluttered shut as Ben nursed.

“Of course I do! We’re in this together Erin. And besides, I’ll take any extra time I can get with my two favourite people,” Jay whispered, unable to hide the proud smile on his face as he watched Erin feeding their son. He had just started back to work after a week at home, but despite the early morning waiting for him, he couldn’t handle missing a moment with his family.

“You’re crazy,” Erin laughed. After a couple more minutes, she felt Ben pull away. She slowly passed him off to Jay, adjusting her top before she flopped back against her pillow. “I’ll see you again in an hour.”

Erin was asleep almost immediately, leaving Jay to toss a towel over his shoulder and settle the baby against him, gently patting Ben’s back. When he heard the familiar gurgle, he smiled softly and nestled his son in the crook of his arm, rocking him to sleep before carefully transferring him back into his bassinet.

“Sweet dreams little man,” Jay whispered, leaning down to press a gentle kiss against his son’s forehead. Jay settled back into bed himself; watching the rise and fall of Ben’s chest had the proud father falling asleep with a smile on his face.

* * *

“Erin! Erin! Come quick!”

“What?! What’s wrong?” Erin ran into the bedroom, her hands covered in soap suds, a trail of dishwater following behind her. She had dropped  _everything_ at the sound of Jay’s frantic shouting from across the apartment.

“I-I don’t think Ben is breathing. Look, his chest isn’t moving!” Jay pointed down to the baby resting in the middle of the king-sized bed. As if on cue, Ben squirmed and let out a loud wail. “Oh. Never mind.”

“Ugh, Jay!” Erin huffed in frustration. “That’s the third time this week!”

“I’m sorry but I thought it was real this time!”

“You said that the last time too! And the time before that! You’re like the boy who cried wolf. Look, he’s fine.” Erin dried her hands against her jeans before she picked up the baby; Ben’s cries quieted the moment he was nestled in his mother’s arms. “He just needed me to come and rescue him from his crazy daddy.”

Ever since Ben was born, Voight had been begging Jay and Erin to come over for dinner. For the first couple of weeks, the little family had chosen to remain in the safety of their apartment, but they finally relented and accepted the invitation.

Nervous about their first big outing as a family, Erin had dressed Ben early in a striped onesie with  _I LOVE MY GRANDPA_  embroidered across the chest. The trio was due to arrive at Voight’s in less than an hour, so Erin left her guys cuddled on the couch in front of the Cubs game and hopped in the shower.

It wasn’t long before Ben started fussing in his father’s arms. “What’s wrong buddy?” Jay cooed as he ran his hand up and down the baby’s back. Ben’s cries just grew louder, so Jay hopped up off of the couch and started walking around the living room, hoping that the motions would help calm the restless newborn.

But the baby didn’t calm down; instead, he spat up all over himself.

“Erin?” Jay called, making his way from the living room to the back of the apartment. “Erin?!” He called again as he knocked on the bathroom door.

Erin’s voice was muffled through the door: “What’s wrong Jay?! I’m in the shower!”

Jay let himself into the steamy bathroom just as Erin was poking her shampoo-covered head around the shower curtain. “Babe, Ben needs a new outfit, he just spit up all over this one.”

“Well then put him in something else!”

“But…”

“Jay, I need to finish washing my hair!” Erin flung the curtain shut.

“But he’s so tiny and fragile!”

“You change his diapers  _all_ the time, this is no different!”

“But he’s so squirmy! How do I get his arms and legs through the holes?!”

“You’re a detective Jay, I think you’ll figure it out!”

Jay sighed as he walked across the hall to Ben’s nursery. “Your mommy doesn’t usually let me pick out what you wear, but let’s hope she agrees with my choice this time.” He carried Ben toward the closet, feeling overwhelmed as he looked at the assortment of baby clothes. It was all so confusing—there were shirts, pants, socks, onesies, shoes, you name it. Jay just wanted to find something that would be easy to dress Ben in, and something that the baby would be comfortable in. “Oh! I know exactly what you can wear buddy!”

Grabbing a few articles of clothing, Jay gently laid Ben on the changing table to rid him of his soiled clothes. The baby fussed as Jay tried to dress him, clearly not impressed with being changed. “C’mon Ben. It’ll be over so fast if you stop wiggling.”

After struggling for a few minutes to get Ben’s head and arms through his shirt and his legs into his pants, he slipped socks and shoes onto his little feet. “Okay, we’re ready little man. Let’s go find Mommy.” Jay settled Ben against his chest, kissing his forehead. “Erin, you ready to go?”

“Yeah, just finished up,” Erin responded, adjusting her top as she headed down the hall to join her boys. “Let’s get—um Jay? What is Ben wearing?” Erin looked her baby up and down and chuckled. The baby was dressed in dinosaur printed sweatpants and a blue polka-dot sweater, with black Nike’s on his feet. “That is the most ridiculous outfit ever… none of it even goes together!”

“I don’t know! You always pick out his clothes!” Jay cried. “Besides, I think he looks cute.”

“Ugh, fine,” Erin sighed. As she surveyed her husband and son a little closer, a smile appeared on her lips. “He does look damn cute!”

Jay laughed, “I told you! Come on, let’s get this show on the road.”


	17. Chapter 17

Jay let out a sigh of relief as he pulled into the driveway. He had spent the last several days working in New York City alongside the SVU; a perp that started out in Chicago had popped up in New York City, so Lieutenant Benson had called Jay in to assist. It had been a particularly difficult case, so he was absolutely itching to get inside and see his family.

It was late evening and the sun had completely set in the October sky. As Jay hopped out of the car and grabbed his duffle bag from the backseat, he hoped that the kids were still awake. He had missed them so much; all he wanted was to hold them close. He quickly glanced up at the house as he made his way to the door, noticing that several lights were still shining brightly through the upstairs windows—that was a good sign.

Jay unlocked the back door and closed it gently behind him—if the kids were asleep, he certainly didn’t want to wake them up. Dropping his duffle bag to the floor and hanging his jacket on a hook by the door, he smiled as he heard the familiar pitter-patter of little feet running around upstairs.

Moments later, Zach came flying into the kitchen, Erin on his heels with Maddie in her arms. Zach flung his arms around his father’s legs, and as Jay hugged him close he shot Erin a look of confusion.

“Ben has something to show you, he had to grab it from his room,” Erin explained, answering Jay’s unspoken question about their eldest child’s whereabouts. She leaned in to give her husband a quick kiss, handing over their very sleepy little girl.

“Hi Miss Maddie!” Jay exclaimed, peppering kisses all over his daughter’s smiling face, eliciting a slew of wild giggles from the seventeen-month-old. “I missed you.” Jay settled Maddie down on her feet and moved to lift Zach into his arms, showering his son with the same love and attention. As the four-year-old told Jay about everything he had missed while he was away, Ben came running down the stairs with a piece of paper in his hands.

“Daddy look!” Jay took his eyes off Zach to look over at his older son and his breath hitched in his throat. In that split second, Ben had gone from excitedly running down the top few steps to tripping over his feet and tumbling the rest of the way down. The loud thudding sound of the little boy hitting the steps one by one on his way to the bottom would play over and over in Jay and Erin’s heads forever.

Ben’s loud cries rang out immediately, and Jay quickly set Zach down before running over. He gingerly lifted the six-year-old into his arms and cradled him against his chest.

“Daddyyyyyyyyy!” Ben sobbed, his body trembling as thick tears streamed down his face.

“I know buddy, I know,” Jay whispered. “Shhh, it’s okay, Daddy’s here. Just breathe. Nice deep breaths.”

Erin had also run to Ben’s rescue; she stood close to Jay and Ben, rubbing her hand up and down her son’s back in an effort to soothe him. “Is he hurt anywhere?”

“I can’t tell. But that was a nasty fall.” Jay ran his hand through Ben’s short brown hair and kissed his cheek as he tried to calm him down.

“Mommy! What’s happening?!” Zach cried, clutching the bottom of his mother’s sweater as he held back his own tears at the sight of his brother’s distress.

“It’s okay buddy, Daddy is taking care of Ben, how about I take you and Maddie up to bed, okay? We already stayed up past bedtime to see Daddy,” Erin suggested, pulling Zach into her side and quickly lifting Maddie up into her arms.

Sending on last look at concern at her injured child, Erin took their two youngest children upstairs while Jay continued to try to calm Ben down and assess his injuries. He tried to sit the little boy down on the kitchen counter, but his screams of protest quickly put an end to that attempt.

“Buddy, I need you to tell me where it hurts,” Jay asked, somehow managing to keep his voice calm despite his growing panic.

“Everywhere! Daddy help!” Ben begged. Jay had heard the word ‘help’ uttered hundreds of times during his tours in Afghanistan, but hearing that word from his son’s mouth was like a knife to his heart.

“I know buddy, I’m trying.” Jay hugged Ben close again.

“I called Will, he’s on his way,” Erin announced as she turned the corner into the kitchen, her cell phone in one hand and the baby monitor in the other. “Here, let me take him.” Erin set her phone and the monitor on the counter and reached out for Ben. When Jay bent down to transfer him over, Ben’s cries grew louder.

“No! No no no no! I want Daddy!” The little boy wailed, somehow clutching Jay’s shirt even tighter.

“Okay, okay. Shhh. I’ve got you.” Jay rubbed his hand up and down Ben’s back as he made his way over to the couch and sat down. Ben’s cries turned to shuddering sobs as tears continued to roll down his cheeks. “How are you feeling buddy?”

Ben’s only response was a whimper of pain as he buried his face in his father’s chest, just as the front door opened and Will strode in.

“Look buddy, Uncle Will is here,” Jay whispered in his son’s ear.

Will approached his brother and nephew, crouching down on the floor in front of them. “How’s my favourite little dude doing? Those stairs can be a tough fight, huh buddy?”

Ben didn’t even acknowledge Will’s presence and kept his face hidden in Jay’s chest.

“Hello? Anybody home?” Will smirked as he gently swiped some of the hair off Ben’s forehead. Ben cuddled further into Jay’s chest, ignoring his uncle again. “Guess not. But I thought I heard a sniffle?” Will questioned as he tickled Ben’s side. Instead of laughs, Ben began to cry again.

“Will, I just calmed him down!” Jay exclaimed as he stood up and attempted to soothe his son all over again.

“I’m  _sorry_ , I thought he’d laugh! What happened anyway? Erin was so panicked on the phone she just said he fell.”

“He tripped and fell all the way down the steps. I think he landed on his right side,” Erin explained, her voice shaky as she looked over at her husband and son. “He burst into tears and hasn’t let us look him over or anything.”

“Was he babying anything?” Will asked.

“Jay picked him up right away and he wouldn’t let go so I’m honestly not sure. Could you please take a look at him?”

“Yeah of course. Jay,” Will motioned over to the couch, wanting to survey his nephew. When Jay tried to sit Ben on the couch and pull away, he cried out again.

“It’s okay Ben, it’ll only be for a second. Uncle Will just needs to take a look and see where you’re hurt, okay?” Reluctantly, Ben released his grip on Jay and allowed himself to be settled on the couch.

“Okay… is there somewhere that really hurts a lot?” Will asked as he wiped his nephew’s tears with the pad of his thumb.

“I-it hurts e-e-everywhere.” Ben hiccuped.

“Hmm okay. If I touch here does it hurt?” Will lightly pushed down on a swollen part of Ben’s arm, only to retract his hand quickly when the little boy screamed out.

“Daddyyyy!” Ben weakly reached up for Jay, wanting to be in the comfort and safety of his arms again. Jay looked over and waited for Will’s nod of approval before picking up his son again.

“He might have a sprain on his arm but you should take him in for x-rays just in case. It could be broken. I can stay here with the kids while you two go to the hospital together?” Will suggested.

“Yeah… that would be great Will, thank you,” Erin hummed appreciatively. “Jay, I’m just going to run upstairs and get something for Ben to wear.” A few minutes later, she came back into the room with some clothes in her hands; Ben clung to Jay as Erin slipped shoes and socks onto his feet and draped a sweater over his body.

“Thanks again Will, we’ll keep you updated.” Jay said as they exited out the back door and quickly headed toward the car.

* * *

“And  _this_ ,” the cheerful nurse explained as she wrapped an ID bracelet around the six-year-old’s wrist, “ is a special sticker that tells us who you are.”

Jay was reclined on the bed, holding Ben in his lap as they waited to be seen by a doctor. “Are you still hurting buddy?”

Ben just tiredly shook his head. The nurse had administered IV medications when they arrived at the hospital—the combination of the medication and the excitement of the evening had the little boy practically falling asleep against his father’s chest.

After a few minutes of waiting, a tall man in maroon scrubs knocked on the door and quickly walked into the room. “Hi there, I’m Dr. Khan,” he introduced himself as he shook hands with both Erin and Jay before sitting down on a swivel chair. “So what brings you into the ED tonight?”

“Our son Ben. He was running down the stairs and fell. My brother is a doctor. He checked him out but said we should come in for x-rays as a precaution.” Jay explained as he rubbed his son’s back.

“Could I take a quick look? If you could put him on the bed that’d be great.” Jay stood and and carefully laid Ben down. His heart broke when the little boy whimpered and tried to hold onto him, but ultimately Ben was too exhausted to fight the separation anymore. First, Dr. Khan looked at Ben’s arm, moving it up and down to check for mobility in his shoulder. “Can you wiggle your fingers for me, buddy?” Ben moved his fingers slowly but cried out when pain shot up and down his arm. “Okay, good.” The doctor placed Ben’s arm back down gently as he observed the swelling near his eye. “Did he fall on his face?”

“Yeah. It looked like he landed on his right side,” Erin answered, her voice filled with concern as she watched the doctor assess her son.

“Does it hurt if I press anywhere here?” Dr. Khan felt around the right side of Ben’s body from his collarbone and into his ribs.

When Ben responded, his voice was practically a whisper: “No.”

“Okay, that’s good. Let’s just take a look at your legs now to and see if they’re okay.” As the doctor pulled up Ben’s pant legs, he noticed that the little boy’s legs were swollen and littered with bruises. “Hmm. So his eye seems to be okay—you should be able to control the swelling with some ice and some Tylenol. I’m going to order an x-ray for his arm though. Someone will be in shortly to bring him up to radiology.”

* * *

It was less than an hour before they were on their way back from radiology, Jay carrying a now sleeping Ben back into the treatment room. He carefully placed the little boy back on the bed while Erin ran her hands through her son’s hair as she watched him resting peacefully. As they waited for the doctor to come back, Jay settled into a chair beside the bed and pulled his wife into his lap, running his fingers up and down her arms—the motion comforting himself just as much as Erin.

After a few minutes there was a soft knock on the door and two uniformed police officers entered the room. “Mr. and Mrs. Halstead, if we could just step outside for a moment.”

Jay and Erin shared a confused look before getting up to follow the officers.

“Is something wrong?” Erin questioned as she glanced back into the room at her sleeping son.

“I’m Officer Simmons,” the female police officer began, “and this is my partner, Officer Machado. Maybe we could take this conversation somewhere more… private?” Simmons shot her partner a nervous glance.

“Maybe you should just tell us what’s going on?” Jay countered, frustrated that the two young officers seemed to be avoiding their questions.

This time, Machado answered, his voice gruff and to-the-point: “We have reason to believe that you may have harmed your son.”

“What?! Are you kidding me? Where would you come up with something like that?!” Jay’s voice had risen, catching the attention of many people around the ED.

“Mr. Halstead, I’d advise for you to keep your voice down. DCFS has already been notified and they are on their way. At this time we have to take both of you into custody.”

“ _Custody_?” Erin exclaimed, her temper also rising. “What are you talking about? We’re detectives, we’re with the CPD!”

“Ma’am, if you and your husband would please just take a seat in here,” Machado held open the door to an adjacent room while Simmons hung back, waiting on Jay and Erin to proceed.

“There is no way in  _hell_ I’m leaving my son all alone in there!”

“Ma’am I’ll be here to supervise him, if you could please just follow my partner, I’d greatly appreciate it,” Simmons responded, her voice calm and reassuring.

With an exasperated huff, Erin reluctantly turned away from her son and followed Jay into the room.

* * *

“How did your son get his injuries?” Machado demanded.

“ _Like we already told you_ ,” Jay growled, growing more and more agitated with each passing moment, “he slipped and fell down the stairs!” He understood that the officers were just doing their jobs, but he and Erin just wanted to get back to Ben.

“Mr. Halstead—”

“It’s  _Detective_.”

Machado sighed, “Detective Halstead. You have to understand, all of your son’s injuries point towards physical abuse.”

“This is ridiculous!” Erin cried, throwing her hands in the air. “We would never hurt our son!”

“We will do a full investigation, but for the time being you will have to stay in here—away from your son.” Machado replied almost nonchalantly.

“Unbelievable,” Jay mumbled, cursing under his breath as he shook his head.

* * *

A little over an hour later, Jay and Erin were still stuck in the meeting room. Officer Machado was standing outside the door, they assumed to make some phone calls. No one from DCFS had been by yet, and at that point they weren’t sure if they should be relieved or concerned.

“We’ve been here forever, what the fuck is going on?!” Jay barked as he paced up and down the room.

Erin reached for his hand and pulled him down into the chair beside her. “Things like this take time, Jay. Maybe we should try calling Antonio?”

“Yeah, maybe. There’s no way they’re taking Ben away from us.”

“They won’t,” Erin stated, her voice firm and confident as she returned her gaze to the door, glancing through the window and noticing that Machado had been joined in the hallway by Simmons. The two officers were deep in conversation, occasionally shooting nervous glances back into the meeting room. “What the hell?!” Erin exclaimed as she rose from her seat and flung the door open. “Why are you here?!” Erin demanded once she was face-to-face with Officer Simmons. “You said you would stay with our son!”

“Detective Lindsay, I assure you, your son is fine. He was still sound asleep when I left his room a few minutes ago. My partner just needed to discuss something with me.”

“So he’s all alone?” Jay jumped in. “What if he wakes up? He’ll be terrified!”

Noting the increasing volume of their voices, Officer Machado ushered Jay, Erin, and his partner back into the meeting room. He closed the door behind them as he continued, “Detectives, I assure you that we’re working to get this resolved as quickly as possible.

“What do you want us to do? We just want to get back to our son!” Erin lamented. “He’s hurt and he needs us there with him. He’s only six years old!”

“There just seems to be some backlog with DCFS. We’ve been assured that a social worker will be here very soon.”

Jay was absolutely fuming and as he opened his mouth to speak, he was interrupted with a knock on the door. When Officer Simmons opened the door, they were surprised to see that along with a social worker, Sharon Goodwin was walking into the room.

“What is going on in here?!” Goodwin demanded.

“Who are you?” Machado countered.

Goodwin shook the hands of both officers. “Sharon Goodwin, hospital administrator. One of the nurses alerted me that there was a small child alone in a treatment room,” she turned to Erin and Jay, “I must say I was surprised to see that it was Ben!”

“Mr. and Mrs. Halstead, I’m Vanessa Kaufman from DCFS,” the social worker began, her voice calm and even. “Could you please explain the situation to me?”

“Our son was running down the stairs to come see me—I’ve been in New York most of the week working a case—and he tripped and fell. We were just coming back from the x-ray when  _these two_  told us we were being investigated for child abuse!” Jay summarized angrily, his brows furrowed and jaw clenched.

Goodwin’s jaw dropped. “Child abuse?!”

Kaufman ignored Goodwin’s words and turned to face Jay and Erin. “Okay Mr. and Mrs. Halstead, I understand you are frustrated, but the doctor was following standard protocol. Your son’s injuries raised suspicion.”

“Ms. Kaufman, Ms. Goodwin,” Machado chimed in, “we were alerted by the boy’s doctor.”

“Which doctor?”

“Dr. Khan. He was just following protocol, as are we,” Simmons reiterated, emphasizing that neither they nor Dr. Khan were at fault.

Goodwin turned to Kaufman, looking the other woman right in the eye as she spoke: “Well I can assure you there is absolutely nothing suspicious going on here or at the Halstead house. I have known both of these detectives since before that child was even born. I can personally vouch for them, and I promise you I can find dozens of others who can and will do the same. I understand that Dr. Khan and these officers were just doing their jobs, but Benjamin Halstead is a very loved and very safe little boy. His parents would never cause him any harm.”

“Can we go see him then?” Jay asked, his voice hopeful.

“Yes, I think that would be okay,” Kaufman responded carefully.

“I’ll finish up here.” Goodwin added with a smile.

Jay turned and glared at Officer Machado. “I swear, I’ll have your ba—”

“Jay! Let’s go!” Erin interrupted, pushing him out of the room before he could utter another word.

* * *

When Erin and Jay returned to Ben’s hospital room, they smiled at their son, still sleeping peacefully, unaware of the chaos of the last couple hours. Erin approached the bed quickly yet quietly, combing her fingers through his hair.

“Mommy?” Ben mumbled sleepily.

“Shhh, go back to sleep baby,” Erin kissed the little boy’s forehead and pulled the blanket higher around his body.

“Can we go home now?”

“Soon buddy,” Jay responded as he too leaned in to give his son a kiss. “You’ve been such a brave boy. Mommy and Daddy just need to talk to the doctors for a few minutes and then we can go home, okay? You just rest.”

Dr. Khan hovered in the doorway for a moment, waiting for Jay and Erin to notice his presence. They tiptoed out of the room to review Ben’s test results. There was tension between the three adults—Erin could tell that Jay wanted to pummel the other man, so she gently squeezed his bicep to try to keep him calm and steady.

“So Ben has a small fracture on his ulna, one of the bones in his forearm. Fortunately he won’t need surgery to repair it, so we’ll just get him situated with a cast before sending you home. The bruising should clear in about a week, but other than that he’ll be just fine. I’ll call down to ortho and have one of the doctors come in to cast him.”

“Thank you,” Erin murmured. Jay had pushed his way back into Ben’s room the moment Dr. Khan had finished his explanation.

The doctor looked at Erin, his face sincere, “And Mrs. Halstead, I apologize for any added inconvenience or stress. You have to understand, I was just following hospital protocol.”

“Yeah, we get it. Thanks again.” Erin replied as she turned to follow Jay’s path back into the treatment room.

* * *

“And just sign here and here, and you three are good to go.” The cheerful nurse instructed as Erin signed Ben’s discharge paperwork. “Perfect. I hope you feel better soon buddy.” The nurse smiled at Ben who was marvelling at his new blue cast as he sat in his father’s lap.

“What do you say Ben?” Jay whispered in his son’s ear.

“Thank you.” Ben replied shyly as he looked up at the nurse.

“Okay, let’s go home!” Erin announced happily.

* * *

Ben had fallen asleep on the ride home, so when they returned home, Jay carried him up to bed while Erin spoke with Will. The little boy didn’t even shift as Jay got him undressed and into his pajamas, clearly exhausted from the night’s events. It was nearly four-thirty in the morning when Jay and Erin got into bed themselves. They cuddled together and fell asleep immediately, finally able to relax after their stressful night.

Sadly, they didn’t get much sleep before they heard the kids waking up and making their way toward the master bedroom at around seven. As Ben and Zach jumped on their parents’ bed, Jay and Erin could hear Maddie calling for them from her room down the hall, anxious to be released from the confines of her crib so she too could join in the fun.

While Erin slowly climbed out of bed and padded down the hall to get Maddie, Ben showed his little brother his casted arm. “Look Zach! I got to choose the colour and everything!”

“Cool!!!!! Daddy I want a cast!”

Jay chuckled, shaking his head at his son, “I don’t think so, Zach. You don’t want to break a bone, it hurts a  _lot_. Right Ben?”

“No it’s super cool!” Ben exclaimed with a proud grin on his face.

“What’s super cool?” Erin chimed in as she walked back into the master bedroom with a squirming Maddie in her arms. She passed the little girl off to Jay and settled back into bed beside him.

“Apparently breaking bones,” Jay replied, kissing his daughter’s forehead as he wrapped his arms around her and settled her against his bare chest.

“No, no, no,” Erin laughed. “No more broken bones in this house, got it?”


	18. Chapter 18

“Jay, what are you doing?!” Erin asked with an exasperated sigh as she reclined on their bed. Her first pregnancy was definitely taking a toll on her energy levels; it seemed that all she ever wanted to do was sleep.

“Now that the baby can hear us, I want it to learn to recognize my voice.” Jay sat down on the bed beside his wife, a children’s book in his hand. “I read about this online—it helps to develop an early bond.”

Erin couldn’t help but smile; Jay’s enthusiasm for their impending parenthood was infectious. “Well, I’m gonna try and take a nap. Your kid is exhausting me already.” Erin readjusted her position on the bed and pulled the covers up to her chin.

“Babe, if you do that, my voice will be muffled. You need to leave the blankets off.” Jay set the book aside and pushed the comforter down before carefully raising Erin’s t-shirt and kissing her exposed belly. He was absolutely entranced by the sight of his beautiful wife and their child growing inside her. “Hey baby girl, grow big and strong like your mama, okay?”

“Jay, we don’t even know the gender yet… and besides, I’m  _sure_ it’s a boy,” Erin mumbled as she closed her eyes.

Jay rolled his eyes with a grin; Erin may have been exhausted, but she was just as much of a spitfire as usual. He picked up the worn-out copy of his favourite book and cleared his throat as he started to read:

“ _A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she held him, she sang: ‘I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.’_ ”

As he paused to turn the page, Jay chuckled quietly to himself when he saw that Erin was already sound asleep. While he continued to read, he smiled wistfully at the flood of memories of his mother reading him this same story countless times throughout his childhood. He missed her every day, and would give anything to have her there to share in the excitement over the family he was building with Erin.

“ _Well, that mother, she got older. She got older and older and older. One day she called up her son and said, ‘You’d better come see me because I’m very old and sick.’ So her son came to see her. When he came in the door she tried to sing the song. She sang: ‘I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always…’_

“ _But she couldn’t finish because she was too old and sick. The son went to his mother. He picked her up and rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And he sang this song: ‘I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my Mommy you’ll be.’_ ”

This time, Jay’s reading was halted by the feel of Erin’s soft hands gently caressing his face, her thumbs reaching to wipe the tears that had spilled from his eyes.

“You okay, babe?” Erin asked, now sitting upright in bed, worry etched across her face. It always broke her heart a little bit to see her strong husband breaking down.

“Yeah… yeah it just… brought back memories, you know?” Jay quickly wiped away the remaining tears, reveling in the feeling of peace she always brought to him. “I wish she could have met you… she would have absolutely  _loved_ you. And now with the baby coming, I just… I wish she was here.”

Erin pressed her lips against Jay’s, still holding his face in her hands. “She is here babe. I know it.” With one last kiss, she cuddled into his neck, smiling softly as she felt Jay nod against her before he picked the book up and finished reading the last few pages.

“ _When the son came home that night, he stood for a long time at the top of the stairs. Then he went into the room where his very new baby daughter was sleeping. He picked her up in his arms and very slowly rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while he rocked her he sang: ‘I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.’_ ”

* * *

It was a rainy Saturday, and there was only so much Jay and Erin could do to keep their two toddlers entertained. The Halstead family had spent the morning snuggled together on the couch watching cartoons, and they had enjoyed a delicious—albeit messy—spaghetti lunch before sprawling out on the floor surrounded by a heap of toys.

Normally they would take Ben and Zach to a local park to let them run around and blow off some steam on Saturday afternoons, but the rain had forced them to stay inside. After noticing the yawns spilling from the boys’ mouths, Jay and Erin decided that it was nap time. But at three and two years old, Ben and Zach were stubborn, refusing to go to sleep. So of course, naps were impossible without a story first.

So while Erin gathered up all of the toys that had been scattered around the house, Jay lifted his little boys—one in each arm—and carried them up the stairs to their shared bedroom.

After grabbing a book off of the shelves, Jay settled in the oversized chair in the corner, with Ben and Zach snuggling on either side of him.

“ _The Little Old Lady Who Was Not Afraid of Anything_ ,” Jay read the title aloud, his voice filled with excitement. “ _Once upon a time, there was a little old lady who was not afraid of anything! She walked so long and so far that it started to get dark. There was only a sliver of moon shining through the night. Suddenly, she **stopped**!_ ” Jay looked down at his two sons, checking to see if the surprise in his voice had piqued their interest. When he noticed both boys were gazing intently at the pictures in the book, he continued to read. “ _Right in the middle of the path were two big shoes. And the shoes went CLOMP, CLOMP_.” Jay cleared his throat, needing to make his voice more high pitched to mimic the old lady’s. “ _‘Get out of my way, you two big shoes! I’m not afraid of you.’_ ” Jay’s heart swelled when both boys giggled at his old woman voice.

When Erin had finally finished cleaning up downstairs, she made her way toward the boys’ room to see how Jay was coming along with getting them down for their nap. When she peeked into the room, she noticed Jay was still sitting in the chair reading with funny voices. Rather than interrupt, she leaned against the door frame and watched her three favourite guys interacting, unable to keep the grin off of her face at the sight.

“ _And what do you think she saw? Two pair of shoes go CLOMP, CLOMP. One pair of pants go WIGGLE, WIGGLE. One shirt went SHAKE, SHAKE. Two gloves go CLAP, CLAP. One hat go NOD, NOD. And one very scary pumpkin go BOO, BOO. And he went out into the field to scare the crows away! The end!_ ”  

“Again, Daddy, again. Please?” Ben pleaded with his father, still trying to avoid nap time; Zach on the other hand, had fallen asleep cuddled into the crook of Jay’s right arm.

“I don’t know, Ben. Look, Zach is already taking his nap like a big boy. Don’t you want to be a big boy like your brother?” As if on cue, Ben let out a big yawn that he had clearly been fighting. “Just take a little nap and then we can play again, I promise.” At his words, Erin approached the trio, lifting a sleeping Zach into her arms and carrying him over to his crib, while Jay tucked Ben into his big boy bed. They kissed each of the boys before walking out of the room, leaving the door slightly ajar.

“I could definitely use a nap myself,” Erin commented as she held her hand to her mouth as she yawned. “Your children have too much energy.”

“Oh no. They were  _all_ Lindsay today babe,” Jay chuckled. “But I could use a nap too. Come on, let’s go before your children wake up.” Jay took hold of his wife’s hand and led her down the hall towards their bedroom.

* * *

Maddie Halstead had always loved being read to; she would incessantly beg her parents to read as many books as possible before bed— _one more Daddy, just one more_. Now that she was at the age where she was learning to read, their bedtime routine had changed. Erin and Jay would say good night to the boys (usually leaving them to read quietly in their own beds for a little while), and then one of them would cuddle up with their little girl.

Tonight, it was Jay’s turn.

“Alright, Mads,” Jay flopped on his daughter’s bed, watching as she finished putting her toys away. “Did you pick out a story for us?”

“Yes!!” Maddie shrieked with excitement, grabbing a book from her shelf and running across the room, launching herself up into her father’s lap.

“Again?” Jay chuckled; he certainly recognized the cover. “We just read this last night.”

“It’s the bestest book ever, Daddy!”

“Best. Bestest isn’t a word, Mads,” Jay corrected with a smile.

“Whatever Daddy, let’s read!”

Jay couldn’t help but laugh at his sassy little girl. “Okay, let’s get this show on the road little lady.” He kissed the top of her head as they opened up to the first page. “Okay, you know these words, right baby?”

“ _It w-was b-b—_ ”

“Let’s sound it out, okay? What are those first letters?”

“B, E, and D!”

“And what sounds do they make?”

“B sounds like b-b-b…”

“That’s right, like book. What about the other letters?”

“E-e-e, like…?”

“Mommy’s name starts with an E, remember?”

“E like Erin!”

“Exactly! And what about D?”

“D-d-d… duck! Or Daddy!”

“Perfect, now put the sounds together.”

“B-b-b e-e-e d-d-d.” Maddie’s excitement had her practically shouting her response. “ _BED_!!!”

“That’s right baby, good job!” Jay leaned in to kiss Maddie’s rosy cheeks. “Let’s keep going.”

“T, I, M— _M like Maddie_!—E. T-t-t-i-i-m-m-eeee? Timey?”

“Close Mads, but do we say bedtimey or…?”

“ _BEDTIME_!” Maddie exclaimed again, her voice even louder this time.

“Shhhhhh,” Jay chuckled as he tried to calm the little girl. “Remember bedtime means quiet time.”

Maddie clapped her hand over her mouth. “Oops! Sorry Daddy!”

“Let’s keep reading, okay? What do you have so far?”

“ _It was bedtime. S-s-s-so f-five l-l-i-i-little m-m-monkeys t-took a bath. Five little monkeys p-p-put on their p-p-pa-pa—_ ” Maddie paused to glance up at her father for reassurance. When Jay nodded, she smiled and continued. “ _Pa-j-j-j-am-mas. Five little monkeys b-b-bruuu-sh-ed their t-t-teeth_.”

“Hmm, did you brush your teeth like the little monkeys?” Jay asked as ran his fingers through his daughter’s hair. Maddie nodded her head vigorously. “That’s my girl. Okay, keep going.”

“ _Five little monkeys said ‘goodnight’ to their mama_!”

“You’re doing such a good job, baby! And what happens next?  _THEN_ …?”

“ _Five little monkeys jumped on the bed_!” Maddie shrieked as she leapt up off of Jay’s lap and started jumping up and down on her bed. Jay knew she didn’t exactly read those words; that was her favourite part of the story, so she basically had it memorized from the many times it had been read to her.

Jay tried his best to keep a straight face as he watched the hyper little girl hopping around on her bed, “Maddie, come on, it’s bedtime, stop that please.”

“But Daddy!  _Five little monkeys jumped on the bed_!” Maddie giggled.

“Does that mean you’re a little monkey?” Jay asked, quickly abandoning his serious facade as he started laughing right along with her. He reached out both hands and started wriggling his fingers up and down Maddie’s sides, enjoying her peals of laughter.

“No Daddy! No tickles! Stoooooop!”

“Hey, what’s going on in here? I thought it was bedtime for Miss Maddie?” Erin strode into the room in her bathrobe, hands on her hips as she witnessed her husband and daughter laughing like a pair of wild monkeys.

“Sorry Mommy! We were reading and then we got silly!”

Erin laughed as she kissed each of her daughter’s cheeks. “Well, how about you be  _un_ -silly and finish that book? It’s already past your bedtime—now it’s almost  _Daddy’s_ bedtime!” She winked at Jay before turning to head back down the hall to the master bedroom.

Jay—understanding the double meaning behind Erin’s words—quickly got them back on track. “Okay Mads, you heard Mommy, let’s read this quickly, okay?”

Maddie climbed back into Jay’s lap and tucked her little body into his chest, suddenly sleepy. “Can you read to me now? Please Daddy?”

“Of course baby,” Jay wrapped his arms around his little girl and grabbed the book from where it had been discarded earlier. “Where were we…? Oh!  _One fell off and bumped his head. The mama called the doctor and the doctor said—_ ” Jay paused, waiting for Maddie’s inevitable excitement at saying her favourite line. When she was silent, he tilted his head and realized that she was already sound asleep. He carefully rose from the bed and tucked her between the covers; with a kiss on her forehead and whispered words of goodnight, he left her room.

* * *

Jay made his way upstairs towards Sam’s bedroom. They had been teaching the six-year-old how to read, so lately either Erin or Jay would listen to him read out loud every night before bed. As Jay turned the corner and entered the room, he smiled at their youngest son sitting up in his bed, eagerly awaiting story time.

“Hey Sammy, ready to read?” Jay asked as he settled onto the bed beside the little boy.

Sam nodded his head vigorously as he scooted closer, snuggling into his father’s side. He opened his favourite book—Jay and Erin had read it to him hundreds of times—and began to read.

“ _G-gr-green eggs a-a-and h-ham_?” Sam looked up at his father as he finished reading the title. When he saw Jay nod, he continued, “ _I a-am, Sam_.” Sam gasped excitedly. “Daddy! That’s my name too!” Even though his parents had read him this book countless times before, Sam still got excited any time he heard his name.

“Yes it is! You’re so smart. Okay, keep reading.”

“ _Sam I a-a-am. Th-that_. That?”

“Yup.”

“ _That S-Sam-I-a-am. I w-w-when n-not l-l-lick then_.” Jay furrowed his brows as he listened to Sam stumble through the next few lines. “ _H-her o-or th-th-then_.”

“How about we try reading this page again?”

“Why?”

“You just seem to be struggling with some of the words. It’s okay though, you’re learning.” Jay encouraged with a smile as he saw a look of defeat flash across his youngest son’s face. “Let’s try sounding out those words again.”

“ _I w-w-w_. Daddy I don’t know this word!” Sam exclaimed exasperatedly. “Can we just read a different book?”

“Let’s try sounding it out before giving up. Giving up means you never get to win. Now, what sound does W and O make together?” Sam just shrugged his shoulders before looking back down at his book forlornly. Jay could tell he was frustrated and didn’t want his son to go to bed feeling disappointed. “Okay, Daddy will read to you tonight but you can try again tomorrow, okay?” Sam nodded his head before snuggling closer into Jay. “ _I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere_ …”

As Jay continued reading the story, he couldn’t quite shake his concern. Sam was definitely having some difficulty; Jay just wasn’t sure what to do about it.

“ _I do so like green eggs and ham! Thank you! Thank you, Sam-I-am_.” When the story was finished, Jay tucked a groggy Sam into his bed, ruffling the little boy’s hair before he kissed him goodnight, checking on the other kids before heading to bed himself.

Erin was mindlessly scrolling through the TV listings when Jay walked into their bedroom, “Hey babe, kids go down okay?”

“Yeah… hey I have a question.” Jay rubbed the exhaustion out of his eyes as he sat down on the bed. “When you’re reading with Sam, does he seem to struggle?”

“Most of the time he just asks me to read. But I haven’t really noticed. Why, what happened?”

“He just had a really hard time sounding out two letters and putting them together. The other kids were fine at his age. Hell, Maddie was reading before she even went to Kindergarten.”

“To be fair Jay, she could only read one book and it was because she memorized it after we read it to her a thousand times. He’s still learning, we just have to give him some time.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Jay nodded as he slid under the covers beside Erin. “We’ll just have to keep an eye on it for now.”

“Don’t worry babe, I’m sure everything will be just fine,” Erin smiled as she leaned over to give him a kiss goodnight. “I love you.”

“I love you too babe, goodnight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously we don’t own the stories they were reading! Credits for these awesome children’s books go to the following:
> 
> “Love You Forever” — Robert Munsch  
> “The Little Old Lady Who Was Not Afraid of Anything” — Linda Williams  
> “Five Little Monkeys” — Eileen Christelow  
> “Green Eggs and Ham” — Dr. Seuss


	19. Chapter 19

Parenting three young children was really starting to take its toll on Erin. At five and four years old, it felt like Ben and Zach  _never_ sat still, instead their seemingly limitless supply of energy had them bouncing off the walls almost constantly. And now that nine-month-old Maddie was starting to crawl around all over the place, it was just completely overwhelming.

So Erin decided that she needed some time to herself.

One snowy Saturday morning, she handed the baby off to Jay, kissed her family goodbye, and headed out on her own. She had booked an appointment for a massage at a spa downtown, and intended to meet up with some friends for lunch later in the day.

At first, Erin felt guilty. But Jay was an amazing father, and she know both he and the kids were actually looking forward to a fun day together. Plus, she had reasoned, taking some time for herself would have her feeling refreshed and enthusiastic.

When Erin had first mentioned her ‘self-care day’ to Jay, he decided to invite Ruzek to come over with his little girls—he figured the kids would have more fun playing with their friends. And when Atwater had overhead them chatting about their plans in the bullpen earlier in the week, he had invited himself along.

“You know, Lucy started crawling when she was just a little over seven months old. She’s already an overachiever.” Ruzek boasted about his second daughter. Atwater, Ruzek and the Ruzek girls had been at the Halsteads’ house for about an hour. The older children were keeping each other entertained in the playroom, while the guys watched as the babies played happily together on the living room floor.

“Well, Maddie was only eight months old when she said her first word.  _And_ , it was dada.” Jay chimed in, unable to hide the cocky smile from his face as he looked down at his own daughter playing with her toys on the floor. “And Zach said  _his_ first word at nine months. I swear, my kids are geniuses.”

“Oh yeah? Em started walking before she was even a year old!”

“Okay guys, this is stupid,” Atwater interrupted. “Your kids are all awesome, brilliant, perfect overachieving geniuses,  _we get it_.” He rolled his eyes at Jay and Adam; as much as he loved being ‘Uncle Kev’ to his friends’ children, it could get annoying listening to their fathers constantly trying to one-up each other.

“Yeah, but my kids are better.” Ruzek scoffed, looking over at Jay.

“Uh,  _no_. They’re not,  _mine_ are.” Jay corrected.

“You know what? We should race the babies! That way we’ll see who’s better, once and for all.” Ruzek jumped to his feet, evidently excited to get things started.

“Are you sure about that Ruzek? Maddie is going to kick Lucy’s ass!”

“Um, are you guys sure this is a good idea?” Atwater chimed in when he noticed how competitive his friends were getting.  

Jay and Adam looked at each other, considering Atwater’s words for a moment. “I’ll go grab some pillows and blankets to outline the course.” Jay said as he quickly turned and walked out of the room.

* * *

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute! Lucy’s lane is longer than Maddie’s!” Ruzek complained as he carefully evaluated the race course.

“Yeah, but look at Lucy, she’s already over the starting line, that’s cheating.” Jay smirked as he sat down behind Maddie, hyping her up for the race.

“But Maddie is older than Lucy! She’s had more experience with life and more time to learn how to crawl.”

“Only by a few weeks! She may be younger but she’s also a cheater. She’ll have to crawl the extra distance.”

“Okay, let’s just get this race started.” Atwater interrupted, rolling his eyes yet again—sometimes it was downright annoying how competitive his two best friends could get. “Gentlemen, start your babies… 3… 2… 1…  _GO_!” As soon as he had waved his arm to signal the start of the race, Jay and Adam released their daughters and ran to the end of the course.

“C’mon Mads, come to Daddy.” Jay encouraged, motioning wildly to get his baby’s attention.

“Luce, come get Mr. Bear, he misses you a whole lot.” Adam held up his daughter’s favourite stuffed animal, making sure to catch her gaze.

“Mads, where are you going?” Jay noticed that instead of continuing to crawl towards him, Maddie had turned around to play with the toys behind her. His voice caught her attention, however, and she gave her father a gummy smile before squealing at him.

“Dadadadadadada.” Maddie chanted as she quickly turned back and took off in his direction.

“Yeah, that’s right Miss Maddie. Come to Dada.” Jay praised as he shot Adam a dirty look.

“Hey Em, come cheer on your baby sister with me.” Ruzek called out to his older daughter when he noticed Maddie’s speed. Emily came running into the living room and joined her father to cheer on her little sister.

“Hey you can’t do that!” Jay exclaimed as he looked at Atwater, hoping he would call a foul. “Actually, you know what? Ben, Zach, c’mere guys!” Like Emily, Ben and Zach quickly settled on the floor beside their dad.

“You have more children that’s not allowed. Choose one!” Ruzek complained.

“That wasn’t in the established rules at the beginning. Besides, it’s not my fault that I have better sperm than you.” Jay bragged with a cocky smirk on his face.

“Kim and I agreed to stick to two kids!” Ruzek defended.

“Aaaand Lucy has pulled into the lead!” Atwater interrupted for the umpteenth time, hoping that to put a stop to their bickering.

“Awww my baby girl is winning!” Adam gushed, grinning from ear to ear. As if on cue, the baby stopped and laid down on her back, whining. “Luce, no what are you doing? What’s wrong?!”

“Yes! Come on Maddie, you got this!” The guys watched as Maddie slowly crawled over the finish line before Jay picked her up and cuddled her into his chest. “My baby girl is a winner!” Jay beamed proudly as he peppered his daughter’s giggling face with kisses.

“No way, we’ve gotta do best two out of three.” Ruzek argued while attempting to soothe a crying Lucy.

“You’re only saying that because your baby lost. Just admit what we all know already—Halsteads are the best.”  

“She got tired, that’s all! Look, you can’t say no to this face.” Ruzek adjusted Lucy in his arms so her teary eyes were facing Jay. Adam knew he was playing dirty but he didn’t care.

“Ugh fine. Kev, let’s get ready for another round.” Jay conceded as he placed Maddie down at the start line again.

Atwater rolled his eyes, waiting while Ruzek comforted Lucy before getting her ready for the next race. “Alright… 3… 2… 1…  _GO_!”

Jay and Adam returned to their earlier positions at the end of the course, encouraging their girls to crawl over to them. Ruzek was somehow even  _more_ competitive this round, using every possible method to get his daughter to crawl to him. “Hey Luce, come get your yummy crackers.” He shook the bottle of Gerber Baby Puffs, one of his daughter’s favourite snacks. Jay just shook his head—as far as he was concerned, Adam’s attempts were futile since Maddie was just going to win again.

_“Do you want to build a snowman?”_

Jay’s eyes widened as he heard the familiar song lyrics coming from the TV. Anytime Frozen was on, Maddie would stop everything she was doing to watch. “No, Maddie, no. Come to Daddy,” Jay practically begged, waving the baby in his direction.

But as usual, Maddie was absolutely mesmerized by the movie, completely ignoring her father as she happily crawled off course.

“Aaaaaaand we’ve got a baby off the track. Ladies and gentlemen, that’s a forfeit! Round two automatically goes to Team Ruzek!” Atwater called out.

“Woohoo! Good job, baby!” Adam swept Lucy up into his arms and cuddled her close as he watched Jay turn off the TV before picking up his own daughter.

“Da?” Maddie’s little finger pointed to the now blank TV screen as her father carried her back towards the track.

“I promise we can watch in a little while Mads.” He settled her on the floor, bending down to place a kiss on her chubby cheek. He passed Maddie a toy to distract her while he went to check on the other kids—Ben, Zach, and Emily had grown bored watching the races and wandered back into the adjacent playroom. When he got back, he could see the determination on Adam’s face as he rocked Lucy in his arms.

“C’mon, Halstead! Are we gonna start the last race? It’s almost time for Lucy’s nap. And she’s gonna sleep so well knowing she won.”

“You wish.” Jay retorted as he lifted Maddie up into his arms. He looked her right in the eyes and gave her a pep talk: “You can do this, okay? You’re a Halstead Mads, that means you’re a champion!’” He smiled when Maddie rested her head on his chest, happily babbling away.

“And now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for! The final round! The big reveal! Will it be early leader Maddie Halstead, or will Lucy Ruzek take all? We’re about to find out! Gentlemen, start your babies…” Atwater announced one last time.

The girls were just starting to make their way back toward their fathers when the front door opened and Erin walked in, stunned for a moment. She took in the sight of her living room—completely trashed with blankets and pillows—and realized what the guys had been up to while she was gone.

“Oh, you have  _got_ to be kidding me.” She walked over to Maddie, who squealed in excitement at the sight of her mother, and picked her up before addressing the guys. “All three of you, I want this place spotless.”

“BABY AWAY FROM RACE!” Atwater declared as Erin walked away with Maddie on her hip.

“No way! Don’t you dare call that a forfeit. There was interference on the track.” Jay stood up, practically running after Erin and Maddie into the playroom.

“Ruzeks take it!” Adam called out. He quickly shut up and started tidying the living room when he saw the matching looks of annoyance on Jay and Erin’s faces.

“Babe, why’d you do that?!” Jay asked exasperatedly as he watched his wife being almost smothered in hugs and kisses from Ben and Zach.

Erin raised her eyebrow at her husband, “You did not just try to race my baby.”

Jay sighed, “She was having the time of her life babe! Looks how happy she is!”

Despite her frustrations, even Erin couldn’t ignore the massive smile on her daughter’s face. As absurd as racing a pair of infants was, clearly Maddie had been enjoying herself.

“Okay, let’s get her back out there.” Erin laughed at the surprise flashing across Jay’s face as she glanced at her happy little girl. “Maddie girl, go show them what you’re made of! Mama can’t deal with losing to  _Ruzek_.”


	20. Chapter 20

“Halstead.” Jay held his phone to his ear, pacing around the office as he listened to the voice on the other end of the line. “You’re kidding me, right?” He sighed heavily, his hand moving to his forehead as his eyes flickered shut in frustration. “I’ll be right there.” Shoving his phone into his pocket, Jay grabbed his leather jacket off the back of his desk chair and made his way through the district, taking the familiar path toward the metal gate separating Intelligence from the rest of the building. He gave Kim Burgess—the newly appointed desk sergeant—a nod as he passed by, a silent request to be buzzed upstairs.

As he turned the corner and ascended the last few steps into Intelligence, he was met by a chorus of his name from his former unit. After passing the sergeant’s exam the previous year, Jay had accepted a promotion to run Vice. It had been an adjustment at first, considering that Intelligence had been home for so long, but Jay was thrilled at the opportunity to move up the ladder and finally command his own unit. He certainly missed working alongside Erin every day, but he knew she was in good hands with Atwater watching her back.

Erin’s eyes immediately locked on his, and he nodded toward the breakroom. Jay stepped inside, holding the door for Erin and then shutting it behind her. He glanced out the window and, seeing the sideways looks the others were sending their way, quickly closed the blinds for more privacy.

“I told you last time was the  _last_ time babe, Antonio is going to get suspicious.” Erin teased with a flirtatious smirk as she rose up onto her tiptoes to kiss him. “What’s up?”

“I just got a call from a couple of uniforms. We got a hit about a drug ring circulating their product through the local high schools, recruiting kids to traffic. I’ve had some people out visiting the schools, doing random locker searches, the usual.”

“Okayyyyy?” As much as Erin loved to hear about Jay’s cases, she was confused as to why he had made a surprise visit to talk shop in the middle of the work day.

“Well apparently they were at the kids’ school today.” Jay paused, seeing the apprehension on Erin’s face as soon as he spoke those words. “They found drugs in Ben’s locker.”

Erin’s face fell.

“They did me a courtesy and called me instead of hauling his ass in, so I’m going to head down there and see what the hell is going on. Do you want to come along?”

“I can’t. We’re in the middle of a case.” Erin sounded heartbroken.

“I’ll bring him back here.” Jay explained as he shrugged into his jacket, getting ready to head out. “Erin, please try not to stress out about this.”

“I can’t Jay… he-he was holding  _drugs_!” She was so on edge she began pacing around the room. “He’s just a kid and he’s caught up in a case you’re investigating! This could ruin his life! I don’t want him mixed up in that world!”

“We don’t know the whole story yet, babe. You need to try to relax, take some deep breaths.” Jay reached out to steady his wife, taking hold of her crossed arms and squeezing gently as he kissed her forehead. “I’ll be back soon.”

Erin watched her husband open the break room door before quickly making his way towards the stairs, throwing out a general goodbye to his friends.

Ruzek turned to look at Erin as she made her way back into the bullpen, not noticing the panicked look on her face. “You two done already? That was a little quick, don’t you th— _OW_ what was that for?”

*

By the time Jay pulled up outside the school, two other students were already handcuffed and being put into the back of a squad car. As he passed by, he noticed several baggies of a white powder piled on the hood; his heart dropped at the sight and he felt a sense of dread wash over him.

“Where is he?” Jay asked one of the patrolmen.

The officer nodded toward the building. “Principal’s office. Garcia is still searching through his belongings.”

As he stepped into the main office, he spotted Ben sitting there with his hands cuffed in front of him, his head hung low. Somehow, Jay kept his cool as he pulled a set of keys from his belt loop, wordlessly unlocking the bracelets from his son’s wrists and slipping them into his back pocket. “Get in the truck, it’s parked out front.”

Ben’s face was sombre as he heeded his father’s directions. Before Jay could follow, Officer Garcia walked into the front office.

“Sir,” Garcia addressed Jay with a nod.

“What’d you find on him?”

“A few joints in his locker. Lighter in his bag.”

Jay sighed. “Anything else?”

“Not that we could find, Sarge, but we’ve got a couple of his friends outside. We found what we suspect to be coke on them—we’re sending it to the lab to confirm.”

“Thanks Garcia,” Jay reached out to take Ben’s bag from Garcia’s outstretched hand before making his way out to his truck.

The ride to the district started off quiet. Jay stole the occasional glance at Ben. The teenager avoided eye contact with his father, instead focusing his gaze straight out the window ahead of him.

Finally Jay addressed his son, doing his best to remain calm. “So… do you have anything to say for yourself?”

Ben just shrugged in response.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m almost an adult, leave me alone! It’s none of your business.”

“ _Ben_ …”

“What?!” The teenager snapped back.

“You’re seventeen years old. So as far as I’m concerned, you’re still a child.  _My_ child. Which mean as long as you live under my roof, you can bet your ass that you’re going to follow my rules.”

“Oh yeah? Well then maybe I should move out.”

“You can’t move out until you’re at least eighteen.” Jay sighed, seeing that this conversation was going nowhere.

“Ugh, this is such  _bullshit_!”

It took every ounce of strength Jay had to resist the overwhelming urge to smack him.

As soon as Jay parked the truck, Ben opened the passenger door, and quickly made his way toward the front doors of the precinct. He was pissed at his dad and hoped his mother would be more sympathetic.

“Hey!” Jay called, causing Ben to stop in his tracks. “Hold up. You know you’re not here to hang out, right?”

Ben sighed dramatically as Jay caught up to him. “Then what am I doing here?”

He didn’t respond; instead, he opened the door and ushered his son into the precinct. Ben begrudgingly walked inside and followed his father up the stairs. They made their way through the Intelligence bullpen—Erin joining them along the way.

Once they were in Antonio’s office, Jay closed the door behind them and addressed his friend. “Dawson, you remember our son Ben, right? Well, he seems to think he’s an adult. And since he thought it would be a good idea to bring drugs to school, it looks to me like he needs some adult things to do around here. Any suggestions?”

“Hmm,” Antonio paused, making a show of thinking up an assignment for the eldest Halstead child. “I mean, I got lots of things. Basement could use a good mop, help the janitor out. I think there’s probably still some blood on the floor from that dealer we had in the cage last week.”

“That sounds perfect.” Erin chimed in. “I mean, we’re still working on a case and could be here for a while, so he might as well make himself useful. When he’s done mopping he can clean the bathrooms. Jay, you hauled in a couple of working girls the other day, right? Didn’t one of them OD in the ladies’ room? It’s a total mess in there, vomit everywhere.”

“What the fuck?!” Ben shouted indignantly. “No way!”

“Well since you’re such an adult, it’s either that or you can sit your ass in a cell.” Jay fired back. “And when we get home you can mow the lawn and clean up the yard, give your mom and me a bit of a break.” He turned to Erin. “Hey babe, isn’t it nice having another adult in the house? So much less for us to do.”

“Oh  _definitely_. You know Ben,” Erin glanced at her watch, “you should probably get started if you plan to get this all done today.”

“Are you serious right now?”

“You bet your ass we’re serious.” Jay responded quickly, his arms folded across his chest as he stared Ben down. “Now get moving kid—oh sorry, I forgot, you’re an  _adult_ now.”

“You know Ben, I’m actually on my way out to chase a lead, I’ll walk you down.” Antonio offered, trying to alleviate some of the tension in the room.

Ben shot death glares at both of his parents before reluctantly turning away, walking alongside Antonio as they left his office. They had only taken a few steps when Jay and Erin saw Antonio sling his arm around their son’s shoulders and lean in to talk to him. “You know, I’ve known your parents longer than you’ve been alive. They’ll forgive you eventually kid. Probably sooner than you think.”

Once they were out of sight, Jay turned to look at his wife. When he saw the pain written all over her face, he moved quickly, reaching back to close the office door before pulling her to his chest. As soon as she was in his arms he felt her body shake with sobs, her tears soaking the front of his shirt.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, just holding her close for a moment before pulling back to look at her. He reached up, his hands caressing her cheeks as he wiped away her tears. “Babe, talk to me.”

“It’s just that, I don’t want that kind of life for them. I’ve worked so hard not to be that person anymore, and to protect our kids from that… and… seeing Ben becoming… someone like me…” She couldn’t even finish her sentence before she broke down in tears again.

“Erin, babe, you’re perfect. Our kids would be  _lucky_ to be even a tiny bit like you,” he leaned down to give her a gentle and loving kiss. “When we get home we can sit Ben down and have a real talk with him. I promise you, everything will be fine.” They stayed in Antonio’s office for a while longer, taking comfort in each other’s arms. “Think you’ll be okay? I should probably go down and check in on him.”

“Yeah…” Erin wiped her thumbs under her eyes. “I’m good.”

With one last kiss, Jay turned away from Erin and made his way toward the basement exclusively reserved for Intelligence. Quietly, he went down the stairs. When he peeked around the corner, he saw Ben scrubbing the floor in the cage, a few grunts escaping his mouth. After watching him for another minute, Jay tiptoed away and headed back up to his office.

*

“Hey, ready to head home?” Erin asked as she stepped into the ladies’ washroom. Every visible surface sparkled against the white light. “Wow, you really did a good job.”

Ben didn’t say anything, simply rolling his eyes and shaking his head in acknowledgement of his mother’s words.

“So is that a yes?” Erin asked, crossing her arms over her chest. “Because if the attitude continues I’m sure there are plenty of other things to clean around here.”

“Yeah…let’s go.”

Erin followed Ben out of the precinct and towards her car—Jay had already left to be home for Zach, Maddie and Sam. As soon as Ben had settled in his seat, he groaned in exhaustion. His back was killing him.

Their drive home from the district was silent. Ben was still angry, and Erin was afraid of what she might say.

Once they were parked in the driveway and Erin turned off the engine, she spoke. “Wash up and then go see if Dad needs help with dinner.” Ben rolled his eyes as he stormed out the vehicle, slamming the door before heading inside. Erin sighed and moved to follow him into the house. She made her way into the kitchen, excited to see the rest of her family after such a long day.

“Daddy look!” Sam exclaimed, holding a piece of paper in his hand. The seven-year-old had started calling him ‘dad’ a few months ago and Jay was not a fan—his baby was growing up too fast. Occasionally, daddy would still slip out from Sam’s mouth and it gave Jay a feeling of overwhelming joy.

“What is it bud?”

“I got a hundred on my math test!”

“Wow, good job! Let me take a look.” Jay grabbed the piece of paper from his youngest son’s hands and took pride in the big “100” written at the top along with a sticker. “You know what, I think we should hang this up on the fridge.” Just as Jay grabbed a Thor magnet from the corner of the fridge, Erin walked into the kitchen.

“Mom!”

“Hi, sweetie. Did you have a good day?”

“Mhmm, Dad is making lasagna!”

“That sounds yummy! How about you run upstairs and get Maddie and Zach for dinner?”

“Okay!” Both Jay and Erin watched Sam run out of the kitchen before greeting each other with a quick kiss.

“How is he?” Jay asked, referring to Ben.

“The attitude is still there, but it looks like he’s giving us the silent treatment.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll talk to him after dinner.” Jay kissed Erin again—deeper this time since they were alone—only to be interrupted by a disgusted groan. When Jay pulled away and opened his eyes, he noticed Ben standing at the threshold of the kitchen with his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face. “Hey bud… I could use some help setting the table.”

Grunting in response, Ben made his way over to the cabinets and started pulling out plates. He practically threw them on the table, only slowly his movements when he caught the unimpressed look on his father’s face.

Ben continued with the silent treatment throughout dinner. He didn’t eat much, mostly just moving his food around on his plate and glaring at his parents. As soon as everyone finished eating, Ben made a beeline towards the stairs, only to be stopped by his father.

“Hey Ben, stick around for a bit will you?” Jay asked as he took the dirty dishes from the table and placed them in the sink to soak.

Ben tried to delay the inevitable as he slowly moved back to his seat at the dining table. He slumped in his chair and rested his head on his hand, keeping him propped up. Erin came and sat down next to him, while Jay stood behind her, his hands resting on her shoulders in a silent show of support.

When Erin reached to grab her son’s hand, he quickly snatched it away much to her disappointment. With a heavy sigh, she started speaking. “Listen Ben, you guys know a little bit about my past—that I was a street kid, that I got mixed up in a lot of bad stuff. But I need to be honest with you, you’re old enough now that you deserve to know everything.” She paused, her nerves getting the better of her for a moment. Jay’s hand gently squeezed her shoulder, encouraging her to continue. “Growing up, I was an addict. I was into a lot of things I had no business getting involved in—drugs, alcohol, sex, and  _worse_. I was damn lucky your Grandpa Hank took me in.” Erin stressed. “After I moved in with Hank and Camille, I struggled.  _A lot_. Getting clean was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. I promised myself that if I ever had kids, I’d never let them go down the same path as me. It’s wasn’t a good life, Ben, and it’s not the kind of life your dad and I want for you.”

“It was just weed—a couple of joints! What’s the big deal?!” Ben exclaimed, not even trying to keep his voice down.

“The big deal is that it’s  _illegal_.” Jay explained, raising his voice, frustrated that his son was making light of the situation. “Depending on how much you have, you could go to  _jail_. With the amount you had, you qualified for a Class C misdemeanor which means it’s permanently on your record and can never be expunged.” When Ben didn’t say anything, Jay continued. “You’re lucky, those cops called me instead of booking you.”

“I get it.” Ben grumbled, though neither Jay nor Erin were convinced.

“I don’t think you do. There are a lot of sick people out there. You never know whose hands could have been on those drugs. They could have been laced with all kinds of stuff—stuff that could  _kill_ you. And to your mom and me, well, your life matters more than anything else. You got  _really_ lucky Ben.”

The teenager nodded, finally looking like his parents’ words were sinking in.

“Ben sweetheart,” Erin continued, reaching for her son’s hand again (this time, he let her). “I understand you think drugs will make you look cool, or fit in with a certain crowd.  _Trust me_ , I do. But those people you’re trying to impress? They’re not worth it.”

“Okay.” Ben spoke so softly they wouldn’t have heard him if they weren’t sitting right there. “I’m really sorry.”

Erin rose from her chair and wrapped her arms around her oldest child, trying to hold back her tears. Jay moved to join them, pulling them both into his arms. They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, only pulling apart when Jay released them.

“Just so we’re clear, you’re still grounded. For a month.”


	21. Chapter 21

Since Jay did most of the cooking—if it was up to Erin, they would eat take-out far too often—he was the family’s designated grocery shopper. On Saturday mornings, he and Erin would divide and conquer, with Jay taking two children along with him. They had learned from experience that it could be a bit of a nightmare wrangling all four kids at the grocery store. This week, Maddie and Sam accompanied their father, while Ben and Zach stayed home to help Erin clean out the garage.

“Daddy?” Seven-year-old Maddie called out. She had been trailing behind the cart, inevitably getting distracted by something new and exciting in every aisle.

“Yes baby?” Jay replied as he looked up from his shopping list on his phone.

“Can we get these?” Turning around to face his daughter, he noticed her staring at a display of cookies, particularly interested in a package of pink frosted ones.

“If that’s the treat you’d like for today, then go for it.” Jay had a system to avoid temper tantrums at the grocery store. The kids knew that if they behaved, they would get to pick out one special treat—it also helped prevent them from asking for a million things. He watched as Maddie carefully considered her options, an intense look on her face as she focused. After a few seconds, she smiled to herself and grabbed the package off of the shelf, carefully placing it in the cart. “Good choice Mads. Okay, let’s keep going.” Maddie walked just ahead of her father  while he pushed the shopping cart, carrying two-and-a-half-year-old Sam in his arms. Jay added a loaf of bread and a package of bagels to the cart as they left the bakery section and started making their way over to the produce aisles to finish up.

“Daddy!” Sam exclaimed, squirming in his father’s arms.

“What is it, bud?” Realizing that Sam wanted to look at the candy at the end of one of the aisles, Jay carefully set the little boy on his feet. “Remember, you can pick  _one_ treat, Sam.” He followed his son over to the display, keeping a close eye on Maddie at the same time.

“Dis one.” Sam picked a cherry lollipop from the shelf and handed it to his dad.

“Okay, are we all done?” Jay looked down as both children nodded. “Let’s go pay then.”

At the checkout, Maddie and Sam began to help their dad transfer all of the items from their shopping cart onto the belt. The toddler quickly lost interest and instead started examining the various things on display in the checkout lane.

As Jay fished his wallet out of his pocket to pay, he glanced over to check on his youngest child. “What did you find there bud?”

“Look Daddy!!” The toddler said, his eyes lit up, excitement filling his voice. He held out his hand, proudly displaying a flashing light-up bouncy ball.

“Wow! That’s really cool!” Jay tried to match his son’s excitement as he loaded the bags into the cart. “But remember you already picked out your treat for today. Maybe you can get the ball next time?” For a split second, Sam frowned and it looked like he was going to protest, but he carefully placed the ball back on the shelf. “Alright, come on guys.”

*

When Jay pulled into the driveway, Ben and Zach emerged from the garage to help unload the truck, Erin following closely behind them.

“Hey Dad, did you get Frosted Flakes?” Zach asked eagerly as he opened the back of the truck.

“Frosted Flakes are dumb, Fruit Loops are way better!” Ben piped in.

“Relax guys, I got both.” Jay rolled his eyes at his oldest children’s bickering as he joined them at the back of the truck.

A moment later, Erin was at his side, leaning in to give him a chaste kiss. “Hey babe, did you remember the…  _condoms_?” She asked quietly, meeting her husband’s eye as she mouthed the last word.

“You bet I did.” Jay smirked as he opened one of the bags to show her the box of Durex XXLs. He took pride in the blush that filled Erin’s cheeks and laughed when she tried to subtly lick her lips. He leaned down to kiss her quickly before slinging his arm around her. “C’mon, let’s get this stuff inside.”

Erin opened the front door and let the kids in ahead of her—each of them carrying a shopping bag. She got them all settled down at the kitchen table for lunch while Jay started putting the groceries away.

When Jay had finished, he bent down to pick up the reusable bags he had discarded onto the floor and noticed a slight bulging in his youngest son’s pocket.

“Sam, what do you have in your pocket?” He watched as the toddler’s eyes grew wide and a guilty look washed across his face.

“N-nuffin.” He blurted out quickly, avoiding eye contact with his father.

“Let me see.” Jay said, holding out his hand as he took a step closer.

“No.” Sam slid out of his seat at the table and tried to make a run for it, heading towards the living room as fast as his little legs would carry him. Unluckily for him, his father’s longer strides allowed him to catch up within seconds, quickly lifting him up off of the floor. “No, no, no, no, no!” The little boy fussed as Jay reached into the little pocket of his jeans.

As soon as Jay felt the rubbery texture in his hand, he knew what it was. It was the flashing bouncy ball that had caught his son’s attention at the checkout lane. “Sam, where did you get this?” He asked as he looked the toddler right in the eyes. Sam curled his lower lip into a pout as he avoided his father’s line of questioning. “Did you take it from the store? Even after I said no?”

The little boy’s eyes immediately filled with tears as he reluctantly nodded his head. Jay looked up toward the kitchen to see Erin standing there, watching with a look of disappointment on her face.

Moving to the living room couch, Jay settled onto the cushions and rubbed the little boy’s back as he started crying into his shoulder. “Shhh, calm down Sammy.”

“I sowwy Daddy!” Sam wailed, his cries somehow growing even louder.

“It’s okay, buddy, relax. Daddy’s not mad, you’re not in trouble.” Jay’s voice was soft and gentle as he tried to soothe his son.

“I don’t wanna go to jail!”

Jay and Erin locked eyes as she sat down on the couch beside them, reaching to help comfort their youngest child, running her fingers through his dark blond curls. “No baby, of course you’re not going to jail. Only  _bad_ people go there.”  

“B-but I bad Mommy!”

“Oh sweetie, you’re not bad. You just made a mistake.” Erin explained. “Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, even Mommy and Daddy.” Sam didn’t answer as he continued to sniffle against his father’s strong arms.

“How about we go back to the store and give the ball back? You can tell them you’re sorry?” Jay suggested with a smile. “Sometimes saying sorry can fix things.”

“Really?” The little boy asked, his lip still trembling slightly as he wiped his eyes with his fists.

“Yes, really.”

Sam nodded carefully. “Okay Daddy.”

*

An hour later, they were back at the grocery store. As they made their way inside, Jay carried Sam over to the customer service desk, intent on speaking with the manager. Sam recoiled in Jay’s arms when he saw the man walking towards them a few minutes later.

To Sam, the manager looked scary—he was a tall man with broad shoulders and he was wearing a suit and tie that made him look super important. But as he approached, he quickly smiled at the little boy. “Hi there, I’m Todd, the manager. What can I help you folks with today?”

“Well, we were here earlier getting some groceries and Sam here picked something up without paying for it and he wanted to apologize.” Jay said as bent down to set his son down on his own feet.

Sam clung to his father’s leg as he carefully extended his hand to present the ball, watching as the manager took it from him. “I’m sowwy.”

“Thank you Sam.” Todd replied as he set the ball on the counter behind him. “You know, I think I have something for you for being so honest.” He pulled a roll of stickers out of his pocket as he crouched down to Sam’s level. “Which one would you like?”

The toddler moved his finger to his mouth as he contemplated this big decision. When he had finally made up his mind, he reached out and pointed at a fire truck sticker.

“Good choice!” Todd chuckled, peeling the sticker from the roll and gently pressing it onto the little boy’s hand.

“What do you say, buddy?” Jay leaned down, placing his hands on Sam’s shoulders.

“Tank you.” Sam replied bashfully.

Jay gave the manager a nod of respect as he lifted his son back up into his arms before they made their way back out to the truck.

“See, that wasn’t so bad.” The little boy was still smiling as Jay strapped him into his carseat. “Now let’s go home for some lunch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We both hate picking the next prompt, so please save us the trouble and vote for your choice from these options!
> 
> 1\. Teaching a kid to drive   
> 2\. Dentist trip   
> 3\. Coaching hockey with Will   
> 4\. Catching Ben with a girl in his room


End file.
